Deviation
by retwin
Summary: Deviation is, as the title infers, completely AU from the very beginning chapter. During her Aptitude Test, Beatrice encounter's Four, a surly Dauntless instructor, for the first time and when her results are inconclusive he warns her to stay in Abnegation. Which of her three aptitudes will Beatrice choose and how will that one choice affect not only her future, but Four's as well?
1. Beatrice

Deviation: Abnegation

Author: Sidnea Blackstone

Disclaimer: I am not as brilliant as Veronica Roth so it is safe to say that I do not own any part of the Divergent universe. I do, however, own a very easily dented romantic's heart that was shattered by the ending of Allegiant and demanded that I borrow the characters and try and make it feel better.

Summary: Deviation is, as the title infers, completely AU from the very beginning chapter. During her Aptitude Test, Beatrice encounter's Four, a surly Dauntless instructor, for the first time and when her results are inconclusive he warns her to stay in Abnegation. Which of her three aptitudes will Beatrice choose and how will that one choice affect not only her future, but Four's as well?

Chapter One- TRIS

I stand when it is my turn to enter one of the testing cubicles and nervously grasp the wide cuffs of my grey Abnegation jacket. Fidgeting is not permitted in Abnegation because it is a sign that you are focusing on self instead of others. I bunch the material in my fists letting the grey fabric absorb the wetness that my nerves have caused because it is less noticeable than wiping them on my skirt. I am about to step away from the table when I feel Caleb's hand on my elbow stopping my movement to allow a tall Candor girl to go before me. Sighing, I glance up at my brother's stern face. It is the fourth time he has reprimanded me for un-Abnegation like behavior this morning it does not, however, have the effect Caleb wants and I know that he can see the glint of rebelliousness in my eyes.

"Beatrice," he sighs looking disappointed but he says nothing else as he releases my arm and gestures for me to precede him.

It is that familiar look, that predictable sound of dissatisfaction that tell me Abnegation is not the faction for me. I couldn't even make it to my Aptitude test without being reminded continually of my failures to conform to Abnegation standards. Taking a shuddering breath I step into the hall and turn to watch as a Candor boy steps into a room with barely concealed contempt for the Abnegation volunteer that will administer his test.

My eyes narrow and my fists clench again this time in impudent anger. Earlier, as our factions waited to enter the school that same boy began bullying some of the younger Abnegation students taunting and jeering and even shoving one boy. Caleb had to hold me in my spot to keep me from intervening. That was the third infraction and possibly the most condemning because Abnegation is a peaceful faction and it is considered improper to allow one's self to be drawn into undignified fisticuffs, but the increasingly more blatant harassment of Abnegation makes my stomach burn with disgust.

"Beatrice," Caleb hisses putting a hand to my shoulder to get me moving down the hall to the last of the testing rooms. I guess I am not moving fast enough for him because, as we approach the open doors occupied by a severe looking Erudite woman and an intense Dauntless man,

Caleb steps past me and greets the woman disappearing into the room and leaving me to stand staring up at the glaring Dauntless.

I don't know if he is trying to intimidate me but strangely I am not frightened by his surly attitude. I imagine he is just naturally approachable, but then I meet his dark blue gaze and I think, 'as approachable as a bed of nails'. The thought makes me want to smile, but I bite my lips between my teeth to keep them in a tight line. It must not work because his dark blue eyes narrow.

"Do I amuse you," he asks crossing muscled arms over his chest and lifting his chin daring me to voice my thoughts but I am smarter than that, at least for the moment. He would not like it if he knew he radiated such a benign aura as approachability so I drop my gaze away from his and murmur, "Of course not."

"Hmmm," he grunts and then moves from the doorway and gestures me inside. I peek up at his face as I pass and his features are pinched as if my Abnegation instilled response bothers him but he doesn't fling any of the barbs at me that most of the other faction's members have been lately. When he closes the door behind me I find the strangeness of the room exhilarating and frightening at once. I glance at the mirrored walls and quickly look away when I realize he is watching me with his dark eyes. "Get in the chair."

His voice is commanding and I obey it instantly. It is strange that I should do so without the aggravation or shame I feel when I am being instructed to act like a good little Abnegation. I wonder how I could find obeying the Dauntless more natural, almost instinctual, than obeying my own brother, father or mother. I chafe with every rule of Abnegation life that I have followed since my birth.

It is awkward climbing into the semi-reclining chair and I feel my cheeks flush when I finally settle into the seat and find that my skirt has bunched up exposing my ankles. I tug the material until I am decently covered and watch as the Dauntless man hits a couple keys on the computer's keyboard before him without looking at me.

"My name is Four and I will be administering your test," he tells me and I try to swallow my questions but I must not have succeeded in stifling the sound because his eyes jump to mine and he demands, "You have something to say?"

I know Dauntless names tend to be less formal than Abnegation names but Four hardly seems like a real name by any standards and I want to tell him that but I don't. So, instead, I just shake my head and fold my hands together in my lap. He snorts and shakes his head; he must think I am too afraid to speak and that makes my spine stiffen.

I watch as he flips a switch on the box beneath the computer keyboard and find my eyes drawn to his tanned arms. They are corded with muscle and I swallow hard against a strange fluttering feeling in my stomach. I overt my eyes but the room is one large mirror and I find my eyes studying his double and for a moment it is some other girl sitting in the chair her eyes large and oddly expectant as they are glued to him.

When he squats in front of me and adjusts the foot rest so that it fits my slight frame better I am surprised and my eyes fly to the man at my feet and cannot stop my question this time, "What's your tattoo of," I ask and I think he is probably as shocked as I am that I asked.

"What makes you think you can talk to me," he inquires as he cocks his head to the side and I try, I really do try not to say it but it is out of my mouth before I even form the words in my head.

"It must be because you are so approachable," I suggest and it is strange because I didn't think he could be less approachable but he looks almost shocked at the sarcastic comment and then his face darkens. He stands again stepping closer to the chair using his height and closeness to his advantage. I am mocking him and he knows it. "Careful," he mutters as he attaches wires to my temple. "Sit back," he tells me and he puts a hand to my shoulder to press me backwards until I am reclined in the chair. "Drink this," he instructs, handing me a strange little glass with an oddly colored liquid inside.

"What is it," I ask but he ignores my question and gestures for me to drink.

Taking a deep breath I sniff the liquid and then tip the glass to my lips. I wrinkle my nose and force myself to swallow it down because it tastes metallic and it coats my mouth with bitterness. I am not conscious of closing my eyes but I must have fallen asleep because when I open them again I am alone in the room. My Aptitude Test has begun.


	2. Four

Deviation: Dauntless

Chapter Two- Four

I shove the arrogant Erudite boy out of the testing room and close the door on his astonished squawk. He was barely in the seat three minutes before his perfect Erudite result was being recorded in the system and I was having to listen to the nose telling me how the computer system works, as if being Dauntless lowered my intellect.

I quickly set up for the next test subject and then move to the other side of the chair to open the door to wait for the newcomer. I scowl when I realize I am going to end up with Abnegation, in the chair, again. I have lost count of the number of gray-clad stiffs I have had to watch selflessly throw themselves in front of the dog to save the child.

Watching so many Aptitude tests has raised within me the question of where my own test might have pointed me had my father not drilled me on every aspect of what to do in order to claim a perfect Abnegation result.

Idly, I think about finishing up with the stiff and then setting myself into the chair in order to discover what factions I should have been. Could have been if my father hadn't wanted to ensure my continued Abnegation existence by coaching me on how to react in the simulation. I know thoughts like this are dangerous because if I was able to manipulate the sim in order to pick my Abnegation result like an apple from a tree then I am Divergent. And being Divergent isn't any more acceptable than having an Abnegation result and becoming Dauntless. When I chose Dauntless it was to thumb my nose up at my father and because of my brokenness.

Now, going on two years after that choice I am conflicted. I cannot move past my complete distaste for the way training has changed since I became Dauntless. I was too soft on the initiates last year and because of it I nearly lost my position as Transfer Instructor. I have found myself doing every crap job Max can find for me as punishment; that is why I am standing here in this hall waiting for the next test subject to arrive. This year I will have to be harder on my initiates, push harder because another aspect of my punishment is to have Eric watching my every move.

I am pulled from my thoughts and I see the last students enter the hallway, matching sets of black and white and gray. The Candor girl strides confidently into the first testing room and the steely look in her eyes hints at Dauntless and I find myself hoping I am wrong because Candor transfers are loud and annoying. The Candor boy has a mild face and many would look at him and think he was perfect for life as Abnegation, Erudite or Candor but the cruel glint in his eyes tells me that I will most-likely have a large number of Candor loud mouths to contend with this initiation. You don't become a Dauntless warrior without learning a little something about reading people and what I see there I do not like.

The next two are Abnegation and when my eyes find the small bird-like frame of the girl in gray I am shocked by the look in her eyes as she watches the cruel-eyed Candor into his testing room. Her fists are tightly clenched and if it wasn't for the hand the boy behind her places on her shoulder or the chastising way the boy speaks to her she might have gone after the black and white clad boy. By the way her lips tighten and she allows the guiding hand the boy must be her brother. The Abnegation do not touch so casually and even though they are siblings it would be frowned upon for them to touch continually. The boy drops his hand once he has moved her along and then he passes her to get to the Erudite proctor leaving the hallway empty except for the girl and me.

I cross my arms over my chest and watch as her expression changes. I see amusement glinting in her intelligent eyes and I snap, "Do I amuse you?"

My question catches her of guard and then she is dropping her gaze from mine and murmuring Abnegation responses with deferential body language that set my teeth on edge. I shepherd her into the chair and watch from the corner of my eye as she tugs her skirt into place over her ankles. The computer registers her identity as soon as she leans back and I realize exactly who this is, Andrew and Natalie Priore's daughter, Beatrice.

Talk about history colliding with present; she doesn't look like the skinny little seven years old that used to run behind the Dauntless children until her father called her back to his side. At nine I was awed that she would so openly defy the strictures of Abnegation rules. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that it was acceptable for the other children to run, play and even laugh, just not Marcus Eaton's son.

I start giving my introduction and the girl has the typical non-Dauntless reaction to my name but when I challenge her she denies having anything to say but she doesn't cower or turn deferential like most Abnegation do when they are silently judging you. Even though she has made the appropriate Abnegation gestures I can tell she is not afraid. I snort because she is tiny and fragile looking but she isn't frightened by my Dauntless presence.

Her eyes are large as she studies me and I find myself stiffening under such an appraising gaze. In Dauntless everyone wants to be seen they wear their piercings and marked skin like signs that shout to be noticed. By Dauntless standards I am tame. I have no piercings and no one besides Tory has seen my tattoo. In Dauntless, I skate the line of being in-your-face and losing-self to become invisible and even though I have friends none of them look too closely at me. They see what I want them to see.

Irrationally, I think this girl might be able to see deeper than my black clothes, almost hidden tattoo and stern expression and it scares me like standing on the edge of a thousand foot drop scares me. I wonder as I adjust the seat to fit her more comfortably if I will have to change my name to five, but I realize that this fear isn't the type to paralyze it is the kind that exhilarates and I think that scares me more.

I hand her the sim-serum and wait for her to drink; when she does her eyes fall shut and that feeling, like touching a live wire, disappears for a moment before I am watching her enter the test.

I watch with my heart in my throat as I realize that this fragile, bird of a girl is not like any of the others I tested today. Even though Tory and Max told me I would be able to tell when a Divergent was in the chair it took me too long to react and I have to swallow my heart back into my chest and I end the test abruptly. For the first time I realize that making my life miserable may not be Max's only reason for sticking me with this job. Tory would know what to do to protect this girl. She would know how to act, but I stand staring down at the girl with absolutely no idea what to do.

She opens her impossibly large eyes and stares at me expectantly and I have to swallow again before I speak. "Get up," I command and just as before she does so immediately. She is beside me in an instant and I am again reminded of how tiny she is compared to me.

"What," she asks when I only stare at her and say nothing else. Her hands are tangled in the sleeves of her Abnegation jacket and I remember using my own cuffs in the same way when fidgeting in front of Marcus or his fellow council members was not an option. "What was my result?"

She is looking at me so hopefully that I have to look away to say gruffly, "Abnegation." With a few swift key strokes I alter the results and enter that as her result.

"Oh," the sound she makes pulls my gaze back to her and she looks like she has been twisted in knots by the word and before I can stop myself I finish, "And Erudite and…

"And," she questions looking stunned, confused.

I pause thinking I can just not say it but then I know that she will not let me hold this from her. "Dauntless," I growl and the way her confusion clears and she repeats the word quietly, almost reverently makes my gut clench.

"What does that mean," she demands and I can see her Dauntless peeking out from behind the Abnegation girl and think that for such a small girl she could be strong. She could be brave. She could be dead in the next few days if I don't warn her to hide this special part of her.

"Your test was inconclusive," I say angrily.

"I don't understand," she persists getting louder, "The test was supposed to tell me which one to choose."

"The test didn't work on you," I snap, "You have aptitude for Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless. It is called Divergent and if you want to live to not celebrate your next birthday you will stay in Abnegation."

"I can't," she shakes her head dejected. "I can't. I'll end up factionless in a week."

"That is hard to believe from the looks of you," I say crossing my arms over my chest but in my mind is the picture of her as she looked in the hallway before the test and I know she is probably right. My words seem to stiffen her spine and the glint in her eyes tells me that she will never be able to sit meekly by when everything comes to a head.

It is clear in that second that as I did two years ago she will do tomorrow and I need to talk her out of this insanity. I have to convince her to take the path of least resistance but I can't do that here where the very walls may have ears. I inhale deeply and then grasp her arm and start pulling her to the door I can't be in this room any longer. "What are you doing," she gasps and tries to pull away from me, but I just tighten my fingers and lean down to whisper in her ear making her shiver, "Getting you out of here!"

"If we meet anyone act disoriented and lean on me like the serum made you ill," I tell her opening the door to check the hall to ensure that security isn't waiting for her and then I half drag and half lead her through the corridors toward the doors.

I don't let go of her until we are past the Hub grounds but she follows at my heels as I lead her through the factionless sector along the same path I took that day two years ago, after my own Aptitude Test. I am taking a huge risk for a girl that never knew I existed when I was part of her faction. I am pretty sure that no one in Abnegation would have spat on me if I was on fire unless it would have been the best thing for the faction. Someone had to have known about Marcus' dark side, but they left me with him rather than risk creating trouble for the faction.

We are crossing the marshy field that separates the factionless from the Abnegation housing before she speaks again. "Why are you helping me?"

I glance at her and I want to say it is because I am Dauntless, but deeper inside me than I have looked in more than a year I know it is because I still feel a lingering ties to Abnegation. Knowing some of what is coming is a terrible burden. Knowing that the Erudite are using my sad little childhood to label and condemn an entire faction cuts me deep. I have been alone since I was nine years old and my mother _'died', _alone in an abusive home and then alone in Dauntless because as much as I want to belong I am not like them I am strange. I am so tired of being alone in my strangeness but I don't trust easily so I say, "I don't know."

Stepping between two rows of Abnegation homes I make my way to the Priore house moving up the modest walk without having to be told where to go and pause to glance around the street and make sure there are no curious neighbors. I meet her gaze and I realize that she is stopped at the end of her walkway staring at me as if I might have grown another appendage while we walked.

"Well," I say gesturing to the door and I watch her swallow and still her nerve before she calmly walks up the steps and pushes open the door. She leaves it open and I take one last look around before I step inside and close the door behind us. Being surrounded by these gray walls is strange and it brings to mind that being here alone with Beatrice Priore is wrong.

She leads me into the living room and then turns to face me. Her hands are fluttering like little birds, her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are dilated in fear as she offers me a place to sit; which I do because I am not here to frighten her. I don't know why I am here exactly, but settling in the minimalist chair gives me time to formulate what to say.

Beatrice goes into the kitchen and I hear water running into a pitcher and remember that it is proper to offer visitors to your home water to drink or wash their hands. When she returns she has a towel over her arm with a bowl and a glass balanced on the tray in her hands. She stops in front of me and I straighten my back and meet her gaze. Cupping my hands I watch her shocked reaction as I dip them into the water. The action was by route and it surprises her, making her jerk slightly and slosh water over the edge of the bowl looking away. She knows that I should not know this custom enough to dip my hands three times before taking the towel to dry them and then take the glass and drink.

I place the glass back on the tray and her eyes roam over me as if I am a puzzle that she needs to solve. Seeing her muddled expression I stand and take the tray to the kitchen. She trails behind me as I clean cup and bowl and then put them in their rightful place. Every Abnegation home is the same and once I slide the tray into the recess in the wall I turn back to her and the hope and joy on her face constricts my heart. She looks as if she were born to be dauntless. Even in her unassuming gray clothes she is bold, fearless as she says, "You were Abnegation?"

"Yes," I answer.

"But you are Dauntless, now?"

"I am," I say heavily.

"I choose Dauntless," she breathes and it is so low that I think I imagined the syllables on her lips but then she says. "I'm going to be Dauntless!" The look on her face is amazing; she glows with delight as she understands that she can become Dauntless. I have proven to her that it is possible.

Frowning, I think I should be angry that she is ignoring what I told her in the test room. However, there is a curl of anticipation in my gut that tells me I already knew she would make this choice. I won't be the only strange one in Dauntless and maybe I won't have to be alone anymore.

"I hope you are right," I tell her as I head for the front door, "Because if you fail factionless isn't going to be the outcome you have to worry about." I stop with my hand on the door handle and look at her over my shoulder. "If you do this," I say, "You better be ready because what is coming isn't for the faint of heart." Wrenching the door open I remind her, "Faction before blood isn't just a nice platitude it is a credo for some people. Think about that." I don't wait for any response she might make I step outside and pull the door closed between us.

The train whistling in the distance beckons me and I follow.


	3. Tris

Deviation: Choosing

Chapter Three- Beatrice

Everything in Abnegation is about routine, routines that dictate when to eat, when to sleep, when to speak and when to remain quiet. Those routines are drilled into us from birth and they are strictly adhered to. For me they are chains tethering me to an existence that is less than I can be. These last few years the morning routine has been awake, help prepare breakfast and then eat before walking to the school with Caleb.

School has its own schedule but it is still a routine. After school I walk home always with Caleb or one of my parents; so, the fact that I came home today after my test, alone, has my mother looking at me strangely and my father reprimanding me for my selfish lack of judgment. I just meekly look at my food and apologize even though in my heart I am not sorry. Today was the biggest day of my life and until tomorrow will probably be the most memorable one. Today my chains were broken and they no longer lock me into a future of being least.

Four showed me that I am not crazy, that I am not less because I cannot fit into the mold my parent's faction has set for me, I am more. Tonight my father looks worried and the conversation centers on what has been happening recently with the Erudite. I listen half-heartedly as the topic of conversation switches to Marcus and the reports being spread about his son and his reasons for defecting from Abnegation, my father's words not mine.

"Is it true," I ask straightening in my seat.

"Beatrice," Caleb chastises me but I need to know. My mind lists the facts I know and I can understand why I also got an Erudite result but I never considered joining Erudite. I am smart but I am not studious enough to make learning my future.

"Of course not," my mother denies as she looks down into her stew. She answers too quickly and she looks embarrassed but she meets my eyes when she adds. "Children defect for all sorts of reasons."

Our faction leader Marcus Eaton's son transferred out of Abnegation two years ago into Dauntless. The news reports being released claim abuse as the cause for the first Abnegation-Dauntless transfer in more than a decade. I will be the second and since I know that Four was Abnegation and he is not old enough to have transferred even five years ago, let alone ten that means that he is Marcus Eaton's son. Something tells me that his defection was more an escape and I think my mother knows that. This information frightens me and I am unsure how this makes me feel.

"Oh," I murmur as I look down and catch my reflection in the bowl of my spoon.

Dinner is silent after that and then Caleb and I are clearing the table away. As I begin putting the food away I think this is the last time I will be here cleaning with Caleb. The last time I will say good night to my parents.

When my father comes in and tells us to finish quickly so that we have time to consider our choices. I think maybe they know that tomorrow will change everything and when he says, "I—um—we love you," I know he must suspect because even though I know my father loves me he rarely comes right out and says it. I feel tears pooling in my eyes and my heart is too tight in my chest.

I watch as my mother disappears up the stairs with my father and I keep my back to Caleb so that he can't see my moment of weakness. He will know my choice is not to stay here in this stifling cell like house and I don't think I could take it if our last interaction was of being reprimanded for letting my family down. I will have to savor these last moments with them and tuck them deep into my heart. My choice has been made and after what I learned at the table tonight I know that I could never look at Marcus Eaton as the selfless leader I once saw him as.

"Beatrice," It is not a shock when Caleb calls my name as if needing to be sure I know what my duty is, but it is a shock when I hear him say, "Tomorrow when we choose you need to think of the family but you also have to think of yourself."

And his words make tears well in my eyes again because my Abnegation brother is telling me to think of myself for the first time in all the years since I have known him. He must think that I am struggling with my choice and he is selflessly giving me the advice he thinks I need to hear to sooth me. It doesn't though, instead it makes anger flicker to life burning my stomach for a moment before it dies out and I am left with appreciation for my brother and all he has done to help me live in this place.

I just nod and turn back to my tasks putting the rest of the food away while he cleans the supper dishes. We don't speak as we finish up and move toward the stairs and our solitary rooms. We reach Caleb's first and I notice the large pile of books on his desk and I wonder what tomorrow night will bring for Caleb. He is the perfect Abnegation always acting selflessly without needing prompting like I do. I suppose he will follow our father into government service and my heart twists that I will not be here to watch my brother become his future self.

On impulse I step into him hugging him fiercely. His response is minimal and I know I have surprised him and probably made him feel uncomfortable, but I am selfish and I needed this hug. I pull away just as quickly and open the door to my room. He is still standing there with a thoughtful look on his face when I close the door to my room.

I lay in my bed, wide awake, for what seems like hours before I kick off my blanket and sit up. Pushing my hands into my hair I get out of bed and move to my window. I don't bother with a robe no one is awake in the Abnegation sector to see me. The handle doesn't even squeak when I pull open the transom and with the ease of a practiced movement I step up onto the sill and grasp the side wall pulling myself outside. I know just where to put my hands and feet as I scale the short distance to the roof.

I have spent many a night up here after everyone else has gone to bed. Just this morning I climbed up here to try and clear my mind for the test, but now I am here because this little house is too small to contain me and I need to breathe deeply of the bigger world around me. I survey the Abnegation houses around me and look beyond to the darker sections of the city where I imagine the Dauntless to be and I can feel the chains binding me to this place slipping further and further from my body. I am free to be who I decide. Free to choose…Free to be me! After tomorrow I will not Beatrice Priore, sister to Caleb Priore or daughter to Andrew and Natalie Priore, I will be…

"Tris," say to the night sky after a few minutes of deep contemplation. Yes, that sounds right, Tris is a Dauntless name and she won't be tied down with chains she'll break them!


	4. Leader

Deviation: Stepping Up

Chapter 4- Four

I spend the hours after leaving Abnegation in the fear landscape. Being there tore open a wound that was just starting to scab over so I push myself to stay in my last fear for as long as I can before my heart rate has elevated to the point that my chest aches with each beat. I make a move and end it in one stroke. I open my eyes and gasp for breath. My t-shirt is soaked with sweat and I press a hand to my throbbing heart.

Closing my eyes I drop my head back onto the headrest; this was pointless. I am still just as afraid of heights and confinement as I am being powerless to disobey the Dauntless leaders and the paralyzing fear that my father's visage causes has not lessened. Tory is right I am a masochist. Intellectually, I know that if my father and I were to ever be in that position again that I am trained to the point of primacy. Since my ranking I have made it my life's goal here in Dauntless to be first…Always! I am not without power now. But I have traversed this landscape hundreds of times and all I have gained is the ability to control my fear and act in spite of it. Maybe, I think, that is all any of us can hope for.

Shoving out of the chair I take a moment to shut the computer down and then head back to my apartment. When I arrive and find a note stuck to my door from Max requesting my presence. I check the hall around my apartment but see nothing else out of place. He is going to ask yet again about my becoming a leader and I have been avoiding him for the better part of a week because I cannot continue to allow training to go along this track that Eric has set.

Swallowing, I realize that even though I do not want to be a pawn for Max, my mother or my father I might just have to pretend to play along in order to get to the root of the changes in Dauntless and the increasing attacks against Abnegation. Erudite seems to believe that Abnegation is more corrupt than good but if there is anything I have learned since leaving Abnegation it is that every faction, no matter how self-sacrificing or benevolent is without a malevolent aspect to juxtapose its core belief. Unlike Candor believes there is not just black and white there are shades of grey between.

I kick my door closed and peel my shirt off as I head to my bathroom to shower. I stand under the water for a long time my mind on Max, Eric and the coming initiates and I need to try and swing things back toward the old ways of training but I don't know how to do that exactly. I know that my time is running out in that regard because by tomorrow afternoon the new initiates will be here.

Twisting the knob the water pipes rattle and then then are silent as the spray stops and I step naked onto the cracked tile floor. The solar lamp is glowing amber above the mirror and I take a moment to stare into the eyes of the man I have become. I think about Max, my mother and my father and realize that in the last year I have been ignoring the burdens and difficulties each place on my shoulders. I have been hiding and that makes my jaw tighten and my spine stiffens.

I told myself I would not be a pawn for anyone and I thought that by turning Max down I would insure that I couldn't be used as one, but now I realize that was the easy way out. I chose Dauntless…I will be Dauntless.

I dress quickly and head to Max's office before I can second guess myself. When I arrive I am not surprised to find Eric there he is after all an obsequious lap dog, lapping up scrapes from Max and Jeanine.

"You wanted to see me," I say as I walk in and I can see that my presence spoils Eric's good mood. It is hard for him to be second and harder still to have been bested by a skinny Abnegation transfer. The thought of what I am about to do gives me the urge to smile, but I bury it beneath my usual mask and wait for Max's reply.

"Four," he says jovially as he stands to clap me on the shoulder. "I was beginning to think you were hiding from me."

I can tell by the set of his jaw that the prospect of my hiding is distasteful and I shrug dispelling that thought with a few words, "Been busy," I say.

"Yeah," Eric pipes up, "How was testing day?" I can tell he thinks he is picking at a sore when he adds, "Did it feel like being home with all the stiffs?"

"Actually," I say not taking the bait and looking back at Max effectively dismissing Eric as if he is not even there. "It gave me time to think about a few things."

"About my offer I hope," Max says with a smile and I can tell that he thinks he has finally hooked me and it takes everything Dauntless in me not to turn him down again.

"Yes," I say thoughtfully, "That and a few other things."

"Such as," Max asks as he sits back behind his desk with his beefy fingers interlaced before him.

"I would like to accept your offer," I say and my gut clenches but I continue, "And in light of that I would like to suggest a new power structure for the next initiate class. Zeke is slated to take my position with the transfer initiates if I move into leadership. But I have an idea that should amp up the competition between the initiates."

"Continue," Max nods and I glance at Eric and see that the idea of me becoming a leader is sticking in his craw. I again stifle the glee that rises up inside me at ruining Eric's day.

"I propose splitting the next class into two groups," I say thoughtfully, "Each a mix of Dauntless-borns and transfers with me and Zeke in charge of one group's training and Eric and Lauren in charge of the other."

I can see that Max is intrigued at the idea of making things more competitive and I know that this last is a calculated risk but I know that unless there is an offer of blood Eric will be able to turn Max away from this idea; so, I continue even as I hope I am able to prepare my team for the brutality without becoming like my father or Eric. The scoring would still remain the same with the rankings combined as they are now but with a more rigorous final for each phase consisting of head-to-head competition between the two teams."

"I knew you had it in you," Max laughs and he nods, "That is an excellent idea but how will the teams be divided; by some sort of lottery?"

No, my mind screams, with a lottery I run the risk of not getting the initiates that will need more time to adjust to Dauntless life like Beatrice Priore if she does indeed decide to become Dauntless. I am trying to form a response when Eric speaks up his, "No," is flat and I can tell he is annoyed I am horning in on his glory. "I think we should pick our teams after the jump."

"I agree," I nod.

"How will you decide who picks first," Max asks and I can see that his eyes are glinting with a feral light. He wants more blood. Since day one Eric and I have been like two puppies that he keeps around so he can amuse himself with us. Rubbing our snouts together and getting us riled up so he can set us on each other and watch the gnashing of our jaws on one another's flesh.

"Eric and I Hand-to-hand," I suggest offhandedly, "Winner picks first."

"Excellent," Max claps his hands and the sound is like thunder in the room. "After the jump and before the welcoming speech," he proclaims and he rises to congratulate me on finally taking my place at his side. Outwardly, I smile and nod but on the inside I deny ever being on the side of a man that can so easily betray his faction.


	5. First Jumper

Deviation: First Jumper

Chapter Five- Tris

I catch my breath as I bounce off the net and my legs bicycle of their own accord and then I am laying their net below me at my back and the sun brightened hole above me. I laugh because where train hopping had been exhilarating stepping off that building had been like flying. I am freer for having taken that leap and I feel a swell of pride in my chest that I, a lowly Abnegation girl, took that step before even the Dauntless borns.

There is a sharp tug on the side of the net and I tumble toward it, startled out of my reflection. I swallow and feel my eyes widen as I come face to face with Four. He wears a perplexed expression and I understand why when he says, "What, d'you get pushed?"

"No," I answer quickly, slightly affronted that he would think the only way I might jump is if I was pushed. I might have said as much if his eyes didn't change in that instant and I could read pride mingling with his normal stern expression. I am startled again when he reaches into the net and grasps me under my arms and pulls me out holding on until I get my feet under me.

"Name," he asks as if he doesn't already know it and I wonder if he asks because he doesn't want anyone else to know that he knows me but then he explains.

"You can pick a new one if you want," he says with a smirk and I remember that Marcus Eaton probably didn't name his son, Four. "But make it good you don't get to pick again."

"My name is, Tris," I say and he smiles a little.

"First-Jumper, Tris!" he calls out inclining his head toward the others in the room without taking his eyes from mine. I can tell he is a little proud of that fact as he smiles slightly and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."

I watch as Four greets each initiate after their leap and subsequent drop into the net and calls out their name as well as their jumper status. Sometimes the next jumper comes almost before the net is emptied and sometimes there is a long wait between them. Those times are usually accompanied by terrified screaming, but after an hour and a half everyone that left the train has found their own piece of concrete floor to stand on in Dauntless.

Four leads us through the granite hallways until we come into a large cavern. There is light streaming in from the roof. This room must be directly beneath the building with the windowed roof that we passed as we first arrived on the train.

"This is the pit," Four says as he walks directly up to the edge of the walk, until the toes of his boots hang over the edge, "The center of life here in Dauntless."

"The pit," Christina scoffs quietly so only I can hear her. She obviously got the hint back at the net when she made a joke out of his name. Her flippant attitude was quickly replaced with intimidation when Four moved in close and in a soft, almost conversational voice taught his first lesson. "Well, Christina," he said as he leaned over her using his height to his advantage, "The first lesson you're going to learn from me…If you want to survive here is keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?"

"We are doing things differently this initiation," Four says as he turns so that his back is to the pit. "I told you my name was Four but what I didn't say," he tilts his head to the side and eyes Christina, "Is that I am one of your Dauntless leaders. In the past we would separate you into Dauntless-Borns and Transfers, but that is going to change today."

Eric and two other Dauntless join Four in front of us and he introduces them with a gesture, "You already know Eric. This is Lauren," Four sets his hand on her shoulder for a moment and then moves it to the shoulder of the man beside her, "and this is Zeke. They will be your instructors. If you have a problem you go your instructor. If you are hurt you go to your instructor and if you need a shoulder cry on you're in the wrong faction."

"Eric and I will be sparring to determine which of us gets to choose the first initiate on our team," He hitches his thumb toward the raised mat in the center of the pit and the gathering faction members slowly filling every empty space below us and along the ledges circling upward into the glassed in headquarters. "New rules in Dauntless dictate that a sparring match ends when one opponent can no longer continue."

I am shocked because that is not what I expected from the Dauntless. They are our protectors, brave and unflinching, I didn't realize that meant beating each other into unconsciousness or worse as training.

"Today," Four says with what can only be described as excitement, "You will be selected by either Eric or me to join our team. You will eat, sleep, train and even shower with your team."

"Boys and girls," the big Candor boy asks.

"Exactly," Four tells him with a smile, "You should feel right at home Candor…Having everything out in the open." There are a few laughs but none more than from Zeke and then Four is talking again, "At the end of each phase both teams will be scored together as one unit." As he talks he meets each person's eyes so at first I think it is coincidence that he is looking so sternly at me but then his next words send a ripple of fear through every one of my peers. "Those ranked lowest will be leaving us."

I know why he is looking at me. He expects this information to frighten me and it does, but I don't respond the way many of my peers do. Instead, I square my shoulders and meet his gaze unflinchingly. Four takes in my set jaw and body language and nods in approval. I have passed some unwritten test and I am pleased.

"What," the large boy in Candor black and white asks incredulously. "Leaving to do what?"

I think it is an amazingly stupid question but I don't say so. Beside me Christina has forgotten her earlier chastisement and says loudly, "We should have been told." Eric steps forward then and I see his ruthlessness in the glint of his cold blue eyes, which he uses to pin Christina down like a butterfly to paper. "Would you have chosen differently out of fear?"

No one answers him they are all too stunned to respond but then another Candor transfer, the bully from Testing Day calls out, "When do we get to watch the fight?"

"Now," Eric states loudly as he moves to stand in Four's personal space, "If you're ready, that is."

"Of course," he says and he dips his head in a very Abnegation way, but instead of the placid look he would wear if he were in Abnegation he is wearing a smile that is a little frightening.

"That man is just scary," Christina mutters beside me and I can't help but smile as out instructors follow Four down the stairs clapping him on the back in camaraderie and leaving Eric to descend them alone.

"He was first in his class," an Erudite boy leans over Christina's shoulder to say. "I'm will, by the way."

"First," I say.

"Yeah," Will affirms, "He was pegged for Leadership fresh out of initiation but he turned them down."

"I guess he changed his mind," Christina says as we follow the rest of the initiates.

My eyes wander the crowd until I find Four and I can't look away. He has removed his jacket and now stands in the corner of the mat in a sleeveless, black t-shirt. The tattoo that I have only seen a hint of is further displayed and accentuates his broad shoulders, tracing over his collar bones throat. The seasoned Dauntless members are a raucous group hooting and hollering as Eric takes his place in the opposite corner.

Zeke stands between them and gestures for the crowd to quiet down. It seems like it is going to be a useless attempt but then another man steps onto the mat and complete silence is instantaneous.

"Initiates," the man yells, "Today you will watch as two of our most promising leaders demonstrate the skill and bravery that makes Dauntless what it is." Extending his arms to both Dauntless leaders the man orders, "Make us proud!"

Zeke and the dark man move to the side of the mat and I am not sure what I expected but it is not what happens. I guess I thought they would circle each other or something but instead Four jumps forward going on the offensive landing a fist in the side of Eric's head before bouncing away. The look on Eric's face is murderous and he is the next one to move in for a hit. Four dodges the blow and ducks under his arm throwing another punch at Eric's midsection. But he is expecting the move and Eric traps Four's arm between his body and arm and begins punching Four repeatedly in his back and side. I can feel my heart beating as if it is trying to beat out of my chest. When his grip begins to slip Eric throws Four away from his body. Four rolls across the mat and back onto his feet before making his move and landing another punch this time to Eric's throat.

They continue trading blows and kicks for what seems like hours and then Eric again traps Four's arm and he is pounding him in the head with his other fist. I stop breathing as Four wrenches away from Eric and staggers dazedly for a second but as he turns away from Eric I can see that his eyes are clear and determined. It is then that I realize that Four is luring Eric into acting when he thinks his opponent is weakened.

I barely register that Eric has again gripped Four's arm and I think that he can't take another hit. But then in the blink of an eye Four has climbed up Eric's body and wrapped his leg around Eric's head and pulling him off balance. His movements are fluid and I am reminded of a dance I saw once when our class studied Pre-Faction Art History. With a simple shifting of his weight Four brings Eric down hard. Four roles with the move and then he has Eric pinned down raining blow after blow at his head.

Zeke steps onto the mat calling the fight and Four immediately moves away from Eric who is lying dazed and bleeding on the mat. I am frightened and exhilarated by what I have just seen things like this don't happen in Abnegation. I am watching Four standing off to the side of the mat and I can tell he is injured by the way he holds his body. His head is bowed and his breathing is ragged and when he looks up our eyes meet.

I see guilt there and it is such an Abnegation response that I am startled for a moment, but then I remember that guilt is a human condition and that it crosses factions. He fought beautifully and even though he overcame his opponent he was not merciless. So, I give him a small smile and nod my head. He doesn't need my approval but I give it and I can see his guilt start to slip away as our eyes linger for longer than I think is wise. There is something there in his gaze…A sort of hopefulness that mesmerizes me and I cannot look away.

Zeke helps Eric to his feet as he inspects the bloodied Dauntless leader and then crows loudly, "Damn, Four, I think you knocked out another one of his teeth!" The pit erupts in a cacophony of sound at this proclamation and Zeke turns to clap Four on the shoulder breaking the momentary connection we forged from across this quarry of a room.

The man that spoke before the match steps up to Four and loudly congratulates him and then calls for silence. When the noise level drops to a low hum the man announces, "Four call your first initiate."

Straightening where he stands Four calls loudly, "First Jumper, Tris!" And just like that I have been invited into my Dauntless training.


	6. Initiates

The new initiates, a mix of Dauntless-Borns and transfers, follow Zeke and me up the metal stairs to their dorm. I have one Abnegation, six Candors, three Erudites and six Dauntless-Borns and I am happy with the mix. Eric predictably chose mostly Dauntless-Borns and Erudite initiates along with the Candor boy I recognize from yesterday. I left him to Eric because I figure if he makes it through initiation he would at least get the shit kicked out of him once before then. After the last initiate was picked Max gave me first choice of which dormitory my initiates would use. I stuck with what I know the transfer dorm that became my refuge when I left Abnegation. I hear the chatter behind me and more than one faction name is being bandied about.

"...at least you know we'll always tell you the truth," that is the loud mouthed Candor girl with the attitude. She thought she was cute reeling off wisecrack after wisecrack and a person like that can usurp the power structure quickly. It was a lesson I learned last year and the only way I got that power back was squash the initiate brutally and publicly. This time I acted immediately and I backed her down thoroughly in front of the group as soon as the uprising began. New initiates are still impressionable so I need to make sure that I set the standards. I don't appreciate wise ass comments and I hate to be laughed at.

When Will, an Erudite transfer, chimes in with a cocky, "Erudite can tell the truth because we have the facts." I feel my skin itch with irritation.

This group has become friendly quick and that is both good and bad. Good because they will need to have each other's' back if they are going to succeed in Dauntless. That is an aspect to this faction I never truly got to see partly because of my instinctual need to isolate myself, protecting my secrets, protecting myself and the changes made to Dauntless rule in the years before I became an initiate. It is bad because this is a competition and sometimes friendships cloud your judgment. Leading you to give in to one impulse to help a friend by letting them win is the fastest way to get yourself below the red line and I am afraid that Tris might let her Abnegation get the better of her. First cut is at the end of this week and I am afraid she won't make it past that line if I don't push to her breaking point and instill in Tris the necessity of thinking of herself first.

We reach the dorm and they follow us down the stairs into the open room while they are still happily espousing their birth faction's core beliefs, even the Dauntless-borns. The quicker they all understand that they are no longer hanging from their mommy's skirts the better off they will be during training.

So, I twist and look over my shoulder making my ribs twinge with pain and my voice harsh with discomfort, "I don't want to hear about your old factions!" My reprimand is sharper than I intended, but it doesn't matter if I hurt their feelings. I meet several pairs of eyes and when I find Tris' they are wide and curious. "You're Dauntless now!"

I am not their friend. In fact, I am not even their instructor, that job has fallen to Zeke, jocular Zeke with his inflated ego and cornball jokes. I turn to find him eyeing one of the transfer girls and I begin to think taking this step up to leadership was a mistake. Because I find myself wondering if Zeke will be able to handle their training with his need to hook-up with anything female and his cut-up of a little brother in the mix.

"Zeke," I say in that tone that he recognizes as my serious I'll-kick-your-ass voice and he snaps his eyes to mine. "If you play with any of my initiates you will regret it."

"Don't worry so much, Four." He laughs and it is the comment that one friend makes to another not the response of a subordinate to his superior. I realize, now, that in taking on this new mantle of leader I will have to distance myself from him. Just as with the initiates it is best to make my point swiftly, so, I shift my body until I am in front of Zeke. I startle him and he starts to chuckle until he sees my face and then we are staring silently at one another. It is a quiet sort of confrontation that I know will unnerve the initiates and Zeke, but that will only work to instill in them the seriousness of their choice. At first, I see confusion in Zeke's eyes but then it is followed by understanding and a curt nod. Zeke steps away from me and then turns to the wide eyed initiates. I feel bereft and more alone now, but I know it is for the best. Besides, if everything goes pear-shaped I will be leaving Dauntless and it is best to start cutting ties now.

"This is where you'll sleep for the next week," he tells them, "If you make the cut at the end of the week you'll call this place home for the next nine weeks."

His words send a ripple through the group and I am not surprised that it is Christina, the Candor girl that speaks up, "Cuts," she asks with a hint of hysteria in her voice. "We should have been told."

The cuts are something that has made a lot of the seasoned Dauntless angry including Zeke's mother. His family has been dauntless since the beginning, whenever that might have been. So, when the question is raised I can see his jaw tighten he knows what he is supposed to say. We both do, something about fear followed by a menacing, 'You chose us, now, we get to choose you', but that isn't the way it should be.

Instead of answering the group's question Zeke crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at me; it is a challenge. Zeke knows I fought the cuts when Eric and Max first instituted the practice, as hard as I dared, but now he is asking whether I have totally joined Max and Eric. He is asking if I am a sellout. So, I step forward and I face these initiates, some that left family to align themselves with the warrior faction and some born into it. This is not fair to any of them.

I look down and my jaw clenches in anger that is radiating from every pore of my body. When I look up and level my gaze on the group a couple of initiates step back and I wonder if I look like the Marcus in my fear landscape. I have to look away again and take a deep breath because that thought frightens me and I have to take another breath because there is trepidation burning holes in my belly. When I look up again the first face I see is Tris' and I feel at once settled, if not exactly calm.

"At Dauntless we are responsible for protecting every life inside the fence," I say adamantly and it is difficult to realize that if I had gone on as I was before, refused to take Max up on his offer of a leadership position, I would have failed at this task. The knowledge of my, not cowardice, but my complacency drags a rough, "Without fail!" from my lips and my voice is like tempered steel.

I will not fail in this a moment longer and I promise myself that not even one innocent life will be taken because I did nothing to stop the Erudite and Dauntless or even the Factionless from tearing our world apart.

I see the skeptical looks on a few faces and I understand the doubts I see there. We have never seen any sign of a threat from the outside world and until recently, I never would have thought that anything inside the fence could threaten us either. Not in our lifetime. "Now, I know that nothing has happened in a long time but that could change in a moment's notice and we need to be ready...

"That's why we train you the way we do," I continue and I let my eyes meet each new initiate's gaze trying to drive home just how important it is that they be ready for anything. "To teach you not to give up and find out who has what it takes to keep pushing back. We are the only line of defense against whatever is out there…"

"D'you understand," I ask as my eyes find Tris' once more. She swallows and her eyes are wider than I thought possible, but she gives a slight nod almost unconsciously. "Good," I say with a nod. "Now, your training is in two stages. The first is physical; we are going to push you to your breaking point and I expect you to push right back like your life depends on it. This is not going to be easy we'll tear you down but then we'll build you back up again. When we are through with you, you'll know exactly what it means to be Dauntless and be proud of it."

I feel eyes on me and I turn toward Zeke to find him staring thoughtfully at me again, but this time there is no challenge only an acute, appreciation for what I am saying and I can see he has straightened further still. He wants to be proud of Dauntless again…We all do. Turning back to the initiates I continue, "The second is mental...again, to the breaking point. We'll crawl inside your head and get to know you in a way even your parents couldn't fathom. In this stage you will face your worst fears and conquer them. Unless, the get you first."

The initiates are dumbstruck and I can tell that they will be unable to process any more this evening so I dismiss them with a curt, "Zeke will give you a tour," and then I push my way through them back toward the stairs that leads back up into the pit.


	7. Factionless

Deviation: Factionless

Chapter Seven- Tris

We decide as a whole on day two that Four is trying to kill us. Christina is the first to voice this idea but she is careful that our proposed murderer doesn't hear her panting comment as he leads us through the Factorless sector at a brisk pace before the sun is even up. I just glance at her. I don't say anything but it isn't for fear of being heard; it is more that I am afraid that vocalizations will use much needed oxygen and I might fall unconscious mid-stride if I speak.

We are winding our way back toward Dauntless as the sun comes up and I am stunned at the beauty of the flame orange paining the abandoned and disused buildings of the old city. This is not the same route we ran yesterday and I think that I am happy that is not that other route today because it was littered with obstacles we had to leap and short walls we had to scale. Today's run was level with only occasional obstacles and the beauty of the rising sun before us.

At this point, I think more pieces of me hurt than don't. My knuckles are bruised and split in some places so I actually let my abused digits hang limply as I pump my arms in a vain hope that this will help me stay apace with the rest of the group. Muscles that did not exist yesterday have found muscles that didn't exist this morning and are forming a revolt. I am pretty sure that any minute my entire body is going to surrender and I will be left a quivering pile of post-Abnegation/Dauntless goo.

As we cross under a raised train tracks, Four hops over a little raised wall and stops suddenly beside a group of Dauntless on patrol. I and my fellow initiates bend trying to catch our breath and silently thank this random patrol for saving us from continuing without respite.

"What've ya got, Jakes?" he asks and he doesn't even sound winded which makes me wonder if he is even human.

"Just Factionless," one man says, "They're not doing anything."

"Good," he says and takes a step away ready to get us all back on our pace but a tall man with a ring through his nose calls out, "Eric's team lost an initiate this morning." My eyes widen and I know that I hear a shocked gasp from our ranks.

Four stops short and his face is intense when he asks, "Here or…"

"Here," one of the shorter men says. "She's alive thankfully but Stick said he hung the girl over the chasm and told her that she could fall to her death, quit or hold on for three minutes."

"She chose to quit," Four asked.

"Didn't have much choice if you ask me," Jakes replied, "She had a dislocated shoulder from sparring practice."

"Where," Four asks.

The Dauntless with the ring through his nose gives a whistle and a girl I remember from the train yesterday comes out from behind a dumpster. One arm is hanging uselessly at her side and her face is a mass of bruises. I feel my eyes grow even wider…She is a Dauntless born. I hear Uriah mutter, "Lynn," When she reaches the patrol but she stands tall her eyes deviant without meeting Uriah's gaze.

Four just stares at the girl for long moments and then he lets his eyes roam over the factionless behind her. I am so intent on watching him that I notice when his body jerks almost imperceptibly in shock. The look on his face is one of shock so I search the crowd of factionless to see if there is some threat, but Four quickly shakes off the reaction and turns back to the girl. "What happened," he asked.

"A transfer, Peter, he doesn't exactly fight fair." She said reaching up to tuck her blond hair behind her ear as she continued. "I was holding my own but he got the upper hand. I thought Lauren would put a stop to it once my arm was dislocated but Eric made us continue…"

The girl's voice is tight and I think she might be ready to cry, but she doesn't she just finishes the story. "He grabbed my arm and pinned me to the mat with his body. He said some not nice things and he used my arm to keep me under him. Lauren called a halt and then Eric was all Mr. Compassion," she snorts and I think she is probably thinking what the rest of us are thinking, that there is no universe in which Eric might be compassionate. She shakes her head and finishes, "He was asking if I was okay and he had his hand on my back. The next thing I know I am hanging from the walk over the chasm."

"You'll be starting from the bottom, Lynn," he says, his eyebrow furrowed, "It could all be for nothing."

"You mean," her voice is rough with emotion.

Four nods and then calls, "Tris," over his shoulder.

"Yes," I answer stepping forward.

"You're with Lynn all the way back," he says. "If she falls behind so do you and if she gets ahead…"

"Okay," I say as I move to stand next to the girl and look at her up close for a few moments. If not for the bruises and swelling she would be classically beautiful. I have barely settled beside her when Four is once more leading us on a merry chase.


	8. Instruction

The group is silent as they follow my relentless pace through the broken city streets back toward Dauntless and this is how I know I have reached their breaking point. I told them it wouldn't be easy and it isn't. I run until the smart-mouthed Candor girl is finally unable to crack jokes and then I run some more. Now that they are all to the point of physical exhaustion I will take them back to the Dauntless Training Center and push some more. Unlike Eric, I will not make them fight to death or unconsciousness, but I will make sure they push through mere discomfort until they are physically incapable of moving, at least until tomorrow.

We round the corner of the training building and I call them to a halt. Just outside the doors I watch as my initiates, plus one, move to stand in the military formation I showed them earlier. They aren't completely still but that isn't what I require of them. I just want a certain amount of order out of this ragtag bunch. Coming from Abnegation I have an appreciation for orderliness. The Candor might think they have a monopoly on that attribute but they do not appreciate the aesthetics of everything having its place like the minimalist existence of the Abnegation.

I may feel alive here in Dauntless but Abnegation, is for lack of a less dramatic description, in my blood. I hate to think what else I have there knowing who my parents are, but I won't dwell on my genetic sludge pool.

My eyes fall on Tris her cheeks are rosy and her eyes wide. She is at Lynn's left and Marlene another Dauntless-born is on Lynn's right. Lynn doesn't like Tris. I heard they way Lynn snapped after Tris kept her from face planting in the center of Michigan and State, "Don't touch me, Stiff."

"Four told me to look after you," she snapped right back, "You can call me stiff all you want but one thing we learned, in just one day here, is that orders are not taken lightly. So, until Four tells me it is okay to let you plant your face in the asphalt I am going to keep you upright."

Marlene intervened when Lynn started to say something else and for a few minutes their conversation was too low to hear but then Uriah piped up with, "Yeah, you were born Dauntless but ten minutes ago you were Factionless!"

"Uriah," Marlene gasped.

"It's true, Mar," the boy said. "Four is taking a huge risk letting her back in and if she can't shut it and follow his orders maybe she should just head back to where we found her."

It was silent for long minutes and then Tris' tentative voice said, "Do you think Eric will try to hurt him?" It made my chest feel funny hearing the worry in Tris' voice.

"Of course not," this is from Marlene, "this is Dauntless and he is Four." She says that as if I am some legend that is untouchable. "Top of his class and down right scary bastard."

"Well," Tris pants out, "What I know, is that Eric is sadistic and he is jealous of Four so it isn't far fetched to think Eric might make trouble for him." Tris is a little more observant than some of her peers.

"Four can take care of himself," Uriah chimed in, "As crazy as Eric is I would rather go against him than Four. Haven't you heard that it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for?"

"Yeah," Marlene laughed, "So, I guess that means we won't have to worry about you then; you never shut up!" It was at this point that I picked up the pace essentially cutting off the gossip session short.

Now they all stand in front of me with watery, trembling legs and wait for my next command. I have decided that we will do most of our training on the roof as opposed to sharing the training room with Eric. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

"Single file up the stairs to the roof," I command, "Zeke is waiting for you so make it quick!" They move en masse to the metal stairs that zig and zag up the side of the building. "Tris and Lynn to me," I watch as Tris peels away from the group with a sullen Lynn at her heels and I find myself crossing my arms over my chest and scowling. Lynn does not appreciate what I have done for her and it is time she gets a reality check.

I simply stare at them for long minutes until finally Lynn shifts uncomfortably in front of me and then I say, "Problem ladies?"

"No," Tris answers first but I am waiting for Lynn's reply.

"No," she grits out and tries to cross her arms but she has forgotten her dislocated shoulder. The pain of which I know from experience is excruciating. The pain is so intense that she has to turn away and wretch. I wait for her to finish and watch as Tris gathers the girl's hair away from her face. It takes a minute before she is composed enough to stand in front of me again.

"Good," I continue as if there was no interruption. "Tris get behind her and wrap your arms around her waist and good arm." Tris looks at me strangely but she does exactly what I tell her. Lynn's eyes widen as I take her dislocated arm in my hands; she knows what I am about to do but not Tris. So, I explain, "I am going to pull your arm back into the socket on three."

Tris' eyes widen and I see her grip tighten as I say, "one," and without counting further I pull and Lynn screams as the joint is forced back into place. Lynn is breathing harshly and Tris has tears in her angry eyes.

"She should have gone to the infirmary," Tris says through gritted teeth.

"Agreed," I answer, "But then Eric would have asked questions and she would have been Factionless again before I even had a chance to plead her cause to Max."

Lynn is cradling her arm and her eyes on me are incredulous as she snaps, "Did you forget how to count, Four?"

"Trust me," I tell her, "when you know it is coming it is worse because you tense up and it makes it harder to get the arm back where it belongs." Tris is wearing an oddly contemplative look that makes me uneasy so I point to the metal stairs and growl, "Roof…"

I give them a head start and then I start up after them as soon as they have crested the third floor. My heavy shoes pound out a cadence that echoes upward to the two girls and I am gratified to see them both pick up their own pace to keep their lead. I expect to find the initiates in the middle of calisthenics but instead I top the roof only to find a crying Shauna clutching Lynn and all my initiates gathered around them. Zeke is not corralling the initiates into formation because he has his arms wrapped firmly around Shauna and Lynn.

"Zeke," I bellow in my best instructor voice and his head pops up. He looks startled, but he sees my face and I must look terribly stern because he releases the girls and calls them to formation taking his place at the right, front corner of the columns and rows.

Tris and Lynn are the last to take their places because Tris has to literally pry the girl from her sister's arms. As soon as they are in place I yell, "Attention!" I feel a curl of pride when I hear my initiates reply just as fiercely, "DAUNTLESS!"

I walk amid their ranks and I eye each one with a steely gaze. "I have five days to get you into shape so you can face off with Eric's team in the first elimination competition and there will be no mercy from that sector!" I come to stand in front of them and command, "Let's start with push-ups I hope you remember the correct form from yesterday because I will not be showing you again." The initiates all fall to the roof and take up the correct position except Lynn who is favoring her right arm and Tris who is still standing at Lynn's left. "Is there a problem initiate," I ask Tris moving so that I stand in her personal space.

Her eyes flutter briefly and she licks her lips before she answers, "You told me to do what she does." Tris indicated Lynn who is still on her feet, also. I nod excepting that answer before moving into Lynn's space, "Is there a reason you aren't on the ground with the rest of your team mates?"

Lynn frowns and then gestures to her newly, repositioned shoulder. I already know what her answer will be but it is not acceptable that she has not even tried to at least join the others on the pebbled roof top. "I can't do push-ups like this," she says through gritted teeth.

"Is that so," I ask as I move away from Lynn and address the whole group. "What is a solution to Lynn and Tris' problem?"

"Four," calls Will and I remember he was one of the Erudite transfers.

"Will," I call back giving him permission to speak freely.

"She could maintain the up-position and use her left arm to support her weight," the young initiate answers; "She would be strengthening her core but not stressing her abused shoulder joint."

"Good," I praise, "Tris you will join the rest of the class in the traditional workout."

"Yes, sir," Her voice is low and naturally raspy. She seems relieved I am not going to make Lynn do push-ups with her injury. As she steps away to join the others I catch her elbow and lean in close to say, "I'm not cruel but what you still have not figured out is that there are harder things to live through than being made to exercise a lame joint." She nods and I release her so that she can find a spot on the floor.

Once she and Lynn are ready I turn and glare at Shauna. "Keep this quiet or Eric will make sure she is gone before I can utter Max's name. Got it?"

"Thank you," Shauna whispers as she hugs me and stiffen like it is the first time I have been hugged by one of my friends.

"You're welcome," I say stiffly and then add, "You can tell your parents but no one else until I get the okay from Max." She nods, smiling and moves away. I find myself calling out, "I make no promises." She just smiles broader and pulls open the interior roof access door disappearing into the stair well.

I turn back and find the initiates all on hands and toes in the up position waiting for my count, "Down," I call and as one they drop and then, "Up…1…Down…Up…2…Down…Up…3…

When I reach ten I prowl through their ranks and snap out a strident, "10 and hold it!" I can see shaking from nearly the whole group but I have five days to make these initiates into something approaching Dauntless. "Good," I praise, "Down…Up…11… Down…Up…12… Down…Up…13…

After ninety more of those and equal sets of squats, lunges and sit-ups I call a halt. Everyone is sweaty and their bodies are shaking with exhaustion. "Pair up," I call and move to stand beside Tris taking her elbow and leading her to the front of the class, "Lynn you're sitting this one out."

I explain what will be required of each team and then I turn to Tris and make a twirling motion with my finger. She licks her lips again and then turns so her back is to me. I demonstrate how to link arms and then I press my back to Tris' all the while instructing the initiates in how they are to use the force of their bodies against each other to lower themselves to a squat and then rise again. It takes me a moment to figure out exactly how much I need to bend my legs and a little longer to convince Tris that she really does need to put all her weight against me before we start to smoothly lower and raise ourselves.

I can tell everyone is struggling with this exercise but I keep pushing them with calls of, "One more," until I hear a wordless cry and Al and Marlene end up in an undignified heap on the roof floor. Then and only then do I call a halt to physical training for the day. "Halt!" I call as I untangle my arms from Tris, "You have one hour…Eat lunch…take a nap…or shower but be back up here for shooting practice in…How long," I prompt them with a hand to my ear.

"One hour," they reply and I smile.

"Excellent," I give them one of my almost smiles and then shoo them with my hands as I add, "Dismissed!"


	9. Shooter

I fire at the target one last time and again I miss. Earlier, Will, told me that I am statistically speaking an anomaly and should have been able to at least hit the target by accident by now. Stepping away from the range I pull my rifle into my body and make sure it is pointed at the ground. I see Four striding onto the roof with a scowl; he was not here when our hour long reprieve ended and so Zeke has been training us in the proper way to handle a firearm.

I have already asked Zeke what I can do to improve and he watched me for a few minutes and shook his head saying, "Your form is good and you are stance is steady so maybe you are over correcting. If you miss left barely move to the right and fire again." I still have yet to hit the targets.

Deciding to take the bull, or Four, by the horns I move to intercept him and ask, "What do I do to get better?"

He barely breaks stride, looks down range and sees my pristine target and then he shrugs and says, "Shoot better."

At first I am stunned and then I am angry. I step after him and I do what no one else would in this situation I grasp his arm and pull. I don't know if he turns because I pulled or if he is just so stunned that I have touched him but he turns and now I am faced with the full force of his scowl. He looks down at my hand still on the warm skin of his muscled bicep but I do not remove my hand from him I tighten my grip and whisper fiercely, "That isn't an answer any good instructor would give. Just because you had a terrible meeting with Max does not give you the right to disregard a legitimate question."

He narrows his eyes at me and then he pulls his arm from my grasp. In a swift move that reminds me of watching him in the sparring ring yesterday he spins me to face the target. Four uses a foot to kick mine apart widening my stance and his chest is pressed to my back with his arms bracketing mine as he lifts my rifle to my shoulder. His hands cover mine as he forces me to pull the trigger and each round hits the target. I feel my breathing hitch as I have a visceral response to the bullets tearing into the target.

He whispers close to my ear between discharges, "You are letting your Abnegation show," he growls before firing again. "It is a target! It looks like a man because one day you might just need to be able to shoot a man to protect the city. You can't save the innocent if you are incapable of doing what is necessary to protect them. When I say shoot better I mean actually aim for the target!"

Our fingers squeeze off the final round and it hits the target dead center of the ambiguous face. My chest is heaving with the realization that Four was correct in his assessment. I was afraid to shoot the target because it has a humanoid form. My Abnegation was showing and who better to point that out than Marcus Eaton's son.

Four releases me so quickly that I stumble backwards a little before I realize that I had been leaning back into his chest as we fired. I feel my cheeks warm and I glance around to see if anyone else noticed. I don't know what I was thinking to let my body rest against his like that. "I wasn't," I mumble to myself.

I reload and take a breath before I aim and take the shot. I hit the target in the center of the chest and I feel a bubble of power expand in my chest. Three more bullets mark my target and then Four is calling us to line up. "We will be joined for shooting practice and knife throwing by the other group of initiates," he growls, "I expect you to remember why we are all here," he looks pointedly at Lynn, "Do not engage them in any way other than in camaraderie. I will handle any infractions swiftly be they from our team or Eric's; do you all understand?"

"Yes," we chorus and no sooner have we done so than the roof access door opens and Eric's team lead by Lauren pours out onto the roof.

We stood while Four set down the law for the new group and I am struck by the way he stands. His shoulders back, spine stiff and head high; he is a leader. I find it hard to believe that he was ever part of Abnegation but his assessment of my shooting disability was born from his innate Abnegation-self and not the sure footed Dauntless before me. As he distributes rifles to the new arrivals in the same brusque way he shoved a rifle in my own hands yesterday I let my eyes skim his stern features looking for any hint of the deferential Abnegation but I find no visible to the naked eye.

As Four explains the uses of the weapon and the objective of this exercise I become aware of a whispered conversation a little ways behind me. I recognize Zeke's bass tone and I think the female must be Lauren. I strain to listen to them trying to figure out what has made the instructors nervous.

"…shouldn't have taken such a chance even for Lynn…" That was Lauren.

"It was the right thing to do," Zeke answers back.

"Of course it was, but you don't understand what I am trying to tell you!" Lauren's voice rises a little more as she continues. "Eric is making him train this group of bullies; that Eric is so proud of, alongside his own team and if Four's team fails he is out."

"Out," Zeke exclaims, "As in…"

"Yes," Lauren snaps, "As in…Four is a scary bastard sometimes but he really is the best we have here in Dauntless."

I feel my heart lodge itself in my throat and I am unable to keep my eyes off of Four as he gestures for Peter, the Candor boy from testing day, to step up to the range. He begins shooting the targets, hitting each. When Four moves aside to survey the initiates his eyes catch mine and I know he can see my anxiety. His perpetual frown deepens and then his eyes lift over my shoulder and there is sudden silence behind me. He twists his lips and turns to find Peter straightening from shooting the last target waving his gun around like it is a pointing stick instead of a deadly weapon.

"…it's too easy," Peter is boasting.

Four sweeps up to him and in a practice move disarms him, painfully, pointing the rifle at Peter's chest, "Is this a loaded gun," Four demands and shoves Peter's shoulder when the boy glances toward his team mates. "Does that make you an asshole or an idiot?" Having made his point Four shoves the rifle back into Peter's hands and the points to his place in the line-up, "Get back in line," he growls. "Next exercise…"

The next exercise is easier for me after having my revelation about target practice. We will be given fifteen seconds at each station to stop, line-up the target, shoot and then move to the next target. Although none of us did as well as we would have liked I at least started hitting the targets two-out-of-three times.

After we each completed the exercise Four lined us up and explained that due to the extended time we spent teaching the second team we would be given time to eat, shower and change before meeting down stairs for knife throwing and hand-to-hand would be tomorrow after the Dauntless Run and calisthenics.

Eric's team scatters first all complaining of fatigue and the heat but Four's team makes our way down the stairs almost lethargically with nary a complaint. We have been up before the sun and he pretty much tried to grind us into the ground from the moment we fell into formation. Not only that but it was hot on the roof and uncomfortable in the heavy jackets we are wearing.

Christina is listlessly tromping down the steps at my side and she doesn't sound nearly as vibrant as is her usual when she says, "Four is a badass, huh?"

"What," I ask frowning a little.

"The way he took Peter down a peg," she gives me a weary smile. "He really is a Grade A badass."

"Yeah," I nod.

"He isn't all that special," Lynn pipes up from behind me and I turn to stare up at her as if she is as clueless as she is blond. "He was a transfer," she adds, "There are more impressive Dauntless."

At that remark Christina snorts and I glare up at the girl, "What is impressive is that you are saying that about the Dauntless that plucked you out of the jaws of Factionless ness."

"He is a leader so he can do stuff like that," she scoffed, "and my family has been Dauntless almost as long as Zeke's, which is a really long time. My mother is on the council. Max wouldn't want to deal with…" At this point I have heard enough and I step up to the girl and grasp her sore shoulder making sure that I have her attention.

"Yeah, he is a leader but that doesn't mean there are no consequences to his actions and you think way too much of your parentage because you are only here because of Four and the deal he made." I squeeze her shoulder making her cry out as I continue, "I don't know what is the matter with you, but you better get it together quick before you end up factionless with no Four to swoop in and save you." Christina is staring at me with wide eyes as if she is unsure that I am the same Abnegation girl that she met on the train to Dauntless.

I let go of Lynn's arm and start to turn back to head downstairs when I realize that a dark figure is stopped several stairs up just observing the three of us. His brow is furrowed and his eyes look slightly…I want to say that he looks confused but I am sure that Four has never been confused a day in his life. I swallow and he just nods before moving down the stairs brushing past us.

Christina's eyes are glued to Four's retreating back and as soon as the door on the third floor slams behind him she whirls toward me and says, "You my friend are officially Dauntless enough…"

I laugh and ask, "Dauntless enough for what?"

"F-o-r," she stretches out the word as if searching for an answer and then her eyes light up and she says, "A tattoo." She laughs at the incredulous look that must be on my face but she takes my arm and hurries me down the stairs. "It is time to start looking the part."

In the end I did get a tattoo of three birds in flight along my collarbone and I even went shopping and used some of my points to get a pair of pants that look like they were made specifically for me and a scoop-necked top that will display part of my new tattoo. I let Christina apply make-up and then I pull my hair back in a ponytail before making my way to the Dauntless Training Room.

We arrive and Zeke directs us to an area in a dark corner that has backlit targets in the shape of a human. This time I understand the curl of unease as it snakes through me but Four was right this is to protect my friends, neighbors and family. I can do this!


	10. Rebel

Deviation: Rebel

Chapter Ten- FOUR

Knife throwing is one of those skills that either you are good at or you're not. During initiation Eric was firmly in the _not_ category. So, I am not surprised that he pawned his team off on me in the guise of benevolence to Lynn the ungrateful initiate that I rescued from factionless ness less than twenty-four hours after her choosing ceremony. I glance over and watch her as she stands behind Christina awaiting her turn at the target. She arrived after the last break with her blond hair shaved clean off and I have to admit that it was a wise choice even if it makes her look less feminine.

I watched the video from this morning's sparring match and Peter only got the upper hand on the girl by wrapping his hand in her hair and using it to anchor her to the spot so that he could pummel her and then cruelly dislocate her shoulder.

Amidst the tinkling of knifes bouncing on the concrete floor I hear a thunk and shift my gaze to the lucky initiate to sink a blade into the target. I am surprised although I shouldn't be that it is Tris who has bested her peers by doing so. I move to lean on the bench holding the throwing knives and watch her form.

She also arrived from break sporting a new look and I find my eyes skimming down her lithe frame before catching myself and looking away. This new look it suits her and I doubt anyone could accuse her of being a stiff now. Her clothes are fitted but not tight and the neck of her shirt dips low enough to show her collarbone and the tattoo there. If I am the tamest looking Dauntless then she is probably the classiest. Her hair is a problem it is still long and after viewing the way Peter used Lynn's hair against her I try to decide if I should bring up the subject with Tris.

I realize my eyes have once again traveled to Tris' form and I frown as if I am studying her technique and then I look away again. There are more consistent thunking noises and I am glad to see that more of the initiates are able to stick a blade. I find my eyes going to Al and I sigh. I wonder for about the one thousandth time why he left Candor for Dauntless. His shooting was mediocre and although he did well during physical training he and Marlene were the first to drop.

Now, he is half-heartedly throwing knifes down the lane without showing that he even watched me demonstrate the proper form. He is holding the knife all wrong and he is slouching as if ashamed of his stature. I don't know why he chose Dauntless but I really doubt it was because he wanted to be Dauntless.

The initiates cycle through their lines and I watch Zeke giving instruction here and there. He has been less jovial since the rooftop and I think his new seriousness is born from the understanding that if these initiates that I have chosen don't best Eric's team consistently I am out. If anyone here could be called a friend, then Zeke can.

Tris is shuffling up to the lane for her next round of throwing when the atmosphere in the room changes behind me and I don't even need to look to know that Eric has contaminated the room with his oily presence. He glances at Tris as her first knife sinks deep in the heart of the target and he frowns. I guess he didn't expect the stiff to be so impressive and I find myself fighting a smile.

Eric moves down the line criticizing as he goes. Most just continue with their task but when Eric stands behind Al and I stiffen. I have a premonition of what is going to happen that is unfolding almost exactly as it did in my head.

"Well, that was pathetic," Eric drawls and I usually try not to agree with Eric with every fiber of my being but he is right. It looked like Al was throwing a ball not a knife…And he is on my team.

"It slipped," Al excuses and then he starts to turn back to the targets.

"Then go get it," Eric says and I stand up because like I said I already know where all this is going.

"What while they're throwing," Al asks and before I know it he is walking head bent toward the target. Eric is outlining the rules and even though I already know Al is probably going to wash out of Dauntless I can't help but think this is an attempt to sabotage my team's chances of winning. Eric is crap with knife throwing so I am pretty sure he is going to make me do the throwing. After all it would be embarrassing if his team discovered that he was less than skilled.

"Four, wanna give me a hand here," he calls like I have a choice.

I twist my lips and raise my eyebrows as if to say, 'what?' Eric ignores the implied question and then explains to Al the rules of this test again.

I turn to the table and pick four of the knives I know to be well balanced. Three in my free hand and the fourth I flip from end to end. Some might think it is showing off, but it isn't. It is ritual to me. I always flip the knife from blade to hilt and back again before twirling it between my fingers into position. As I complete my ritual and draw back to throw I hear a voice say, "Stop."

And I glare in her direction. Her Abnegation is going to get her killed one day and I really don't want to watch it happen. As angry as I am at her for interrupting I find that her defiance is intoxicating and I see that the others are affected the same way. When Eric tells her to take Al's place I tighten my jaw and turn to my left just needing to look away from her proud stride but then I see the gleam of anticipation in that kid Peter's eyes. He looks euphoric and it is sickening.

I look back as Tris turns and presses her back to the target and our eyes meet. Her pupils are dilated letting me know that she does indeed understand the stupidity of what she has done, but she just swallows and continues to watch me. Looking at her I can only think…She is brave…She is stupid…She is Dauntless.

Flip, flip, twirl and throw; the first I am to her left a good six inches from her body. The second, I stick six inches from the right side of her face and even though her breathing has sped up she has not moved and inch. The communication between our eyes as she trusts me not to harm her and as I trust her not to move feels intimate and I have to look away. Eric is chiding me for not getting closer so I pull my gaze from hers and turn to Eric with a sarcastic, "You want me to give her a little trim?"

"Yeah, maybe a little off the top," he says and I turn back to her the fake smile falling from my lips. I originally did not plan to throw the knife over her head because in order to stick the blade there it would be traveling directly at her and I did not want her to flinch. I make a step to throw but I falter. Then I still myself to throw and meet her trusting gaze. My eyes must have telegraphed to her what I am going to do because her eyes widen slightly but she remains still as the knife buries itself in the glowing target three inches above her head. The last blade I line up and throw quickly wanting this to be over and I know that Eric will hand me knife after knife until she bleeds for her challenge, so I knick her ear.

She looks stunned and I feel a terrible gnawing in the pit of my stomach at having spilled her blood, but I know it had to be done. Eric postures some more and then dismisses my initiates. Normally that would piss me off but I am glad when the room empties until there is only Tris and I. She is still standing in front of the target.

"You okay," I ask without looking at her.

"You cut me," she accuses and her voice tells me that she knows it was intentional.

"Consequences," I say after a moment without looking at her. "You challenged Eric and if I had not cut you we would both still be standing there."

"That's your excuse," she demands and I can hear the hurt in her voice.

Straightening I stop fiddling with the knives on the table and turn toward her. She looks tough as nails arms crossed and glaring at me. I am drawn closer to her like the proverbial moth and I stride right up to her until I am only inches away. I pluck the knife from beside her injured ear and even though her jaw tightens she doesn't flinch. "It isn't an excuse it is the reason," I growl, quietly and lean in next to her bleeding ear, "If I had wanted to hurt you I would have." I feel the quick puffs of her breath on my neck as I speak and it makes my chest feel strange so I pull away and meet her eyes again.

She looks confused and I let my eyes wander over her face before coming to rest on her injury. Reaching up I swipe the blood away with my thumb. It is barely a scratch but the salt from my hand must have stung her because she gasps a little and swallows. Shifting my gaze back to hers I tell her, "Don't challenge Eric again I may not be around to swoop in and save you."

Her eyes flutter a little and then I turn away leaving her standing there. As I exit the training room I glance down at the blood on my hands and I wonder how much more will be on them if I don't find a way to stop Erudite. I turn back and see her standing with her eyes closed against the target. For the first time I think maybe I don't have to make the choice alone.

She is brave…She is Dauntless…But she is also Abnegation.

Wouldn't that bite Jenean Mathews in the ass if it were two Abnegation/Dauntless transfers who put a wrench in her plans. But that isn't all Tris and I are…We are Divergent…Brave, selfless, intelligent, honest and kind.

"Well," I murmur as I turn away from the door, "Maybe not kind."


	11. Visitors

Deviation: Visitors

Chapter 11-TRIS

I wake up at four thirty and my body is physically rejecting my choice of consciousness. I slept in my training clothes like always but my socks are in my boots. So, I take a minute to pull them onto my feet because the rock floor is too cold to run about bare foot on. My bed creaks a little when I move off of it but as exhausted as I am the others must be dead to the world.

The pit is the quietest I have ever seen it and for some reason that frightens me a little. This great, white cavernous space should always be pumping with a driving beat and flowing with activity. It is the literal heart of Dauntless. Seeing it empty and hearing nothing but water dripping is eerie.

I wait until I reach the training room to put my shoes on. I am only slightly surprised that the doors are unlocked when I try them. I probably should have thought about this more before sneaking through Dauntless, but the ache in my cheek from my spectacular failure if a first sparring match against Lynn is driving me here.

Pulling the door open just enough to slip in I am surprised to find that there is someone else here. My heart leaps to my throat and for a moment I stand just watching Four as he rapidly pulls himself up on a bar until his chin is over it, repeatedly. The muscles in his arms strain to lift his weight so fluidly and his face and arms are glistening with sweat.

He is so confusing. One minute he is rescuing a girl from factionless ness and the next he is nicking my ear with a knife. Is this what it means to be an Abnegation/Dauntless transfer? Will I always be caught between helping others selflessly and hurting them to protect them? No, that isn't fair. Four didn't actually hurt anything other than my pride. It is just because I know he is right about challenging Eric it was stupid. I am not sure why I am holding this against him, but I think maybe it is because I trusted him. I stood in front of him and let him hurl knives at my head, trusting that he would not harm me. I think, maybe, I am disappointed.

My eyes follow the rise and fall if his body and I wonder if I should just go back to the dorm. As if sensing my question Four drops from the bar and turns to face me. His eyes flick over me and I become stupidly aware that I am in sleep rumpled clothes, my hair is sliding from the ponytail I put it in before bed and my unbruised cheek probably still has a crease in it from my pillow.

His eyebrows draw down and he asks, "You planning to stand there staring at my back all day or did you sneak down here for a reason?"

I feel myself blush and I glance toward the punching bags and find one set up, "I wanted to practice," I say gesturing toward the bag.

He looks at the bag and then back at me before nodding. "I set that one up for me," he says, "but you go ahead you need the practice more than I do and I still have the rest of my work out before I use the bag."

I want to argue and I know he knows it but instead I pinch my lips and head to the bags. I feel his eyes on me as get into position in front of the bag. I ignore the uncomfortable feeling that being watched gives me and immediately start hitting the bag as he and Zeke taught us. My fists are already bruised so it doesn't take long before each impact with the bag is painful but I don't stop. I continue to punch the bag through the pain. The bag barely registers my hits and it makes me feel weak and self-conscious.

I feel a presence behind me and I glance around to find Four standing behind me with a frown on his face. I look him up and down and then go back to punching the bag. It is a strange feeling seeing him flushed from exertion and his hair damp with sweat. It unnerves me but I try to ignore my silly stomach and the way it swoops at the sight and sound of him.

"You're weak," Four says after a moment and I grit my teeth to hold back a flippant response. Four doesn't like smart mouths. I almost succeed in holding my tongue but Four keeps speaking, "You have no muscle. You are never gonna win not like that."

"That's good to know," I snap, his words anger me and I hit the bag harder wanting to feel it give under my attack but it doesn't. I am like a butterfly beating its wings against a stone.

Four moves and I think he is leaving me in my useless anger but then his hands are on me. One on my lower back and the other on my belly right under my rubs and his voice is low and intense as he tells me, "Keep tension here." His touch is shocking and I am pretty sure he feels the way I tense and my belly dives because he lets me go almost as soon as I meet his eyes. "You're small but fast, Tris, and if you go on offense you have a chance. You could win; you need to go for the throat first chance you get." He demonstrates by touching my throat first he presses his fingers to my trachea and then he touched the sides of my throat.

"How," I ask as his fingers leave my throat and I feel his hand in my hair.

"Just get under their arm and jab put your whole body into it. Use your elbows and fists," he tells me. "And this has to go…Peter got the best of Lynn by using her hair against her."

I must look shocked and maybe a little horrified because Four lets go of my hair and says, "I'm not saying cut it," he stammers, "just maybe restrain it a little more so it can't be used to anchor you in place." I am still wide eyed trying to figure out why he is telling me all this when he usually gives such vague instructions one-on-one. I am busy contemplating this when I hear the rest of what he is saying and I blush. "Don't get me wrong," he is saying looking uncomfortable, "It's pretty but I don't want to watch you get beat senseless because they used it to tether you." And then something happens that I never thought I would see; Four blushes and not a light staining of the cheeks it is an all-out red flush. Before I can even think of how to respond Four is across the room picking up a towel and heading for the door.

"Four," I call and he stops but he doesn't turn back to face me. I don't even know why I called out to him. "I forgive you." He turns to face me then and his brows are lowered as he searches my face. I can tell that he is surprised and a little uncomfortable with the whole knife incident, still. "You did what you had to do. I don't like it, but I understand why you did it."

He simply nods and turns back to the door so I start punching the bag again this time tightening the muscles he indicated and instead of just my arm I throw my whole body into. I am astonished when the bag bobs about from my blows. A smile spreads across my face and I laugh.

I practice for a long time, losing myself in the new sense of power that being able to effectively attack gives. I was so busy dancing around the bag working into a continual rhythm of quick elbows and fists that I never realized that Four stayed and finished his work out until I hear him call, "Time to run."

I gasp and turn to find him there with a towel and a metal mug filled with water, which he hands me. I am winded from my work out but I think I am more amazed that he is offering me both cup and towel as if I am something other than an initiate.

We walk together through the pit which is now much more the activity center I have come to expect. He doesn't say anything to me as we go to the dorms first to awaken anyone that might still be abed at this hour. Christina, Al and Kimmie are still dead to the world until Four raps the cup on the metal railing and turns on the lights.

Christina reacts the same way she has every other time Four has done this and I almost smile until I see the pinched look on Four's face, "Outside, two minutes," he barks and then he turns and heads for the cafeteria. I wait at the door and watch as Four first goes to the food table and snags a couple muffins and then he whistles loud enough to silence the entire room before ordering his initiates to be outside in two minutes. I am just thinking that I should have gotten myself a muffin when Four walks past me and without looking at me shoves a muffin into my hand.

He doesn't stop or talk to me he just heads for the doors that will lead us outside the compound. I follow him eating the chocolate muffin while contemplating the enigma that is Four. It isn't enough to say that he is confusing; he is downright confounding. When we step outside I realize that we are on the opposite side of the compound than where we set off yesterday. Four leads me along the building and then turns away from the train tracks; he freezes in place and then he is moving backward herding me along with him. His eyes are wide and I don't know if it is shock, but it doesn't look like fear.

"What," I breathe, "What's the matter?"

His face grim Four puts a finger to his lips and eases his head around the building and I realize he is watching something or someone. I ease between him and the wall and slowly glance around the corner. The sun isn't up and yet I can clearly see the Erudite symbol on the trucks. The area about midway down the building is lit by huge flood lamps and we are safely hidden here in the shadows. There is a truck full of Erudite equipment and a handful of people dressed in Erudite blue. I see a blond head and immediately I recognize who it belongs to, "Jeanine," I murmur and duck back behind the wall, Four does to.

Four is looking contemplative and his brow is more furrowed than I have ever seen it before. I can almost hear the debate going on inside his head, but then his jaw clenches and he whispers, "I need to get a look at what is on that truck," and I can tell he expects me to disagree, but I don't because my mother was suspicious of Jeanine. And if my mother doesn't like Jeanine then I know that she is not to be trusted. "I think, my mother was trying to tell me that Jeanine was the one responsible for the reports about Marcus' son," I say and Four tenses up and his eyes are hard when they stare into mine.

I think his reaction is strange but then he relaxes and he is whispering, "I need you to distract our visitors while I get a look at that equipment."

I can't help but look at him like he has grown a second head but then I realize that whatever is going on, Four knows more about it than I do. So, I nod my head and then take a deep breath before stepping around the corner. I am not sure how much of a distraction Four wants but I figure that I should just go with it. I pretend that the sight of Erudite trucks and faction members is not an unusual sight and just walk right into the middle of them. My heart is pounding ninety to nothing in my chest.

Jeanine is the first to see me and she looks confused for a moment before her smooth mask slips over her features. This is her lie face and I realize she is a very dangerous woman.

"Prior," she calls and moves toward me with her other blue suited colleagues. "Beatrice Prior, Andrew Prior's daughter?"

I give what I hope looks like a genuine smile and say, "It's just Tris, now."

She begins to spout a bunch of meaningless platitudes about how she is glad I knew my own mind and blah, blah, blah. Then she mentions my test and I am shocked, "You see my test results?"

"Of course," she says and then she is moving the collar of my blouse, exposing my tattoo to her cool fingers. It is a grossly inappropriate action especially since she knows I came from Abnegation and even in Dauntless you didn't touch someone without their permission.

"Initiate," Four's voice rings from the other end of the building, "You're late!"

"Excuse me," I mumble and hurry along the building to where Four stands arms crossed looking forbidding as ever. When I reach him he flings his arm out and points toward the area where we usually meet for the morning jog. We don't speak as we round the compound and find the other initiates in various positions; some are sitting and others are leaning against the building and it looks like Kimmie is actually asleep on the ground.

"Attention," he snaps and we all jump into formation with a call of, "Dauntless!"

Four has one hand in his pocket and I can tell that whatever he has in there is making him edgy and I want to know what he found. It can't be good if it made that deep crease appear on Four's youthful face. Four notices my gaze on his pocketed hand and he stops fiddling and removes his hand from his pocket.

"Now that we are all here," he takes a moment to glare in my direction and it makes me angry that he is using me as an excuse for his own lateness. He doesn't make me do punishment counts, which are push-ups, so I guess I will forgive him for embarrassing me.

We run the same path as the first day. It is rough with debris and steep walls and obstacles to climb over. Four is out front and Christina, Will and I are just behind him followed closely by the others. Al should be giving Four a run for his money, being that he is three inches taller than Four, but he is bringing up the rear and I can't help but think for the hundredth time that Al just doesn't seem Dauntless.

By the time the sun is fully up we are all on the roof doing calisthenics and I find myself anticipating the sparring we will do after we finish here and go to lunch. I can't wait to see how I do with the new tips Four gave me this morning.

Zeke dismisses us for lunch and we head for the stairwell but Four calls out, "Tris," and Christina and Al stop too but Four continues, "I have a _task_ for you that should help you remember to get to training on time." He moves his eyes from mine to my friends and then says, "You are all welcome to join her if you like." They are gone before he even finishes his sentence.

He doesn't say anything he just leads me down the fire escape and through the door we took this morning. Instead of heading toward the cafeteria or the training room he leads me along a wide corridor to a set of heavy metal doors. When we enter the room I am surprised to see computers set up around the room with monitors that flicker between images of places I recognize. The entire compound is wired for video and sound I realize and I feel my stomach flop.

"Gus," Four calls and a man not too much older than him makes an appearance from behind a bank of monitors.

"Four," he frowns, "I didn't think I would be seeing you in here what with being promoted and all."

"Well," Four says with a little smile, "You know how it is this place gets in your blood."

"Ain't that the truth," Gus laughs. "Who's this?"

"This is one of my initiates," he answers, "Her name is Tris and she needs some busy work."

"Like," Gus asks frowning.

"I saw a few crates of old computer parts down by the loading docks I was thinking about having her lug it to the dumpsters."

Gus' eyes widened and he eyes me speculatively, "What did she do to get that kind of shit detail. The dumpsters are a couple blocks from the loading docks?"

"She was late to training," Four says and he shrugs as if the outcome of this talk isn't important but I can tell that it is very important.

"I heard you and Eric are gonna go toe-to-toe."

"Yeah," Four nods.

"Must say that I am glad my little sister, Marlene, is in your group." Gus says with a thoughtful look in his eyes, "Eric has already lost another recruit."

"What happened," Four demands.

"Someone stabbed that Erudite kid, Edward, right in the eye."

"What," I exclaim and I must look as horrified as I sound because Gus just nods and answers my blurted question.

"It happened this morning," Gus added, "None of the others claim to know who did it and the kid is denying he saw his attacker."

"Where is he now," Four asks.

"Infirmary," Gus grunts, "Unless they already turned him onto the streets."

Four nods in understanding and I am chilled to the bone when I realize that Edward, the initiate in the first slot is going to be factionless because of another initiate and I can picture only too well the attacker. He has shining black hair and wide innocent looking eyes.

"So," Four asks, "Can I set her to work?"

"I don't see why not," Gus says, "Better an initiate than me or one of the guys. We are short staffed now that you made leader and Zeke is training initiates."

"Thanks," Four says and then he puts a hand to my back guiding me to the door.

I expect him to take me down to the loading dock so I am surprised when I find myself in the infirmary. I recognize the tall blond boy lying in the bed immediately after all I watched him kick Peter's behind yesterday.

"Hello, Edward," Four says and he moves to the right of the bed so that when the boy opens his good eye he will see him. His blue eye is red and puffy from crying I think but he doesn't say anything once he meets Four's gaze. "How are you feeling?"

"Like. I. Got. Stabbed. In. The. Freaking. Eye," he grinds out between clenched teeth his chest heaving with pent up emotions.

Four just nods and I watch him closely as he sits down in the chair at the head of the bed. He is silent for so long just sitting there quietly giving Edward support and then after the boy's breathing settles he asks, "Have you made any decisions,"

"There is no decision to make," Edward snarls, "Eric says I am through…As long as I was first he was my best friend and now he can't even spare more than two words for me." He laughs, "Can you guess which two he could?"

I am confused, but Four isn't because he answers, "You're out."

"Yeah," Edward scoffs, "Maybe you aren't as dumb as Eric thinks you are."

Four doesn't react to the insult except to say, "You and I both know that you have to be pretty damned smart to rank first."

"Yeah," Edward agrees, "Yeah."

I stand awkwardly by the door as yet another silence fills the room. Edward is the first to break it when he says, "All I ever wanted was to be Dauntless."

Four considers his words for a moment and then asks, "What is stopping you?"

"I only have one eye, man!"

"And do you think that will keep you from ranking above the red line," Four asks.

"W—what," Edward stammers.

"Do you think that having only one eye will drop you below the red line?" Four asks and then continues without waiting for an answer. "The way I see it you still have a fighting chance at a slot here at Dauntless unless you decide to give up." Four's voice is firm as he asks, "Are you gonna give up?"

"I don't want to but my eye," Edward mutters.

"Is gone," Four agrees, "But that doesn't have to put an end to your future. You are smart. You came from Erudite I know you had to be. You came into training able to fight. Knife throwing and shooting are going to be the biggest hurdles but I think you can learn to compensate."

"What are you saying," Edward demanded.

"I am saying that I am willing to let you join my initiates," Four said, "If you are willing to work for it."

"Eric says you are too soft to be a real leader," Edward says, thoughtfully and I have to fight not to laugh at the stupidity of that statement. Four is hard as the granite these caverns are hewn from.

"Everyone has an opinion," Four says.

"Yeah," Edward agrees. "What's your opinion?"

"Dauntless never give up," Four says as he stands and places his hand on Edward's arm before meeting me at the door. "Think about it."

AN: I found a place or two that I accidently switched tense so if you find others let me know so I can fix them.


	12. Friends

Deviation: Friends

Chapter Twelve- FOUR

I can feel Tris staring daggers at the back of my head while I loop the cables around my arm from elbow to hand turning the knotted length into a neat coil. As I finish I turn and look at her and I want to smile; she is so cute when she is angry like a spitting baby cat.

"Here," I say, "Hold this." Her eyes narrow and I think I must not have kept the smile off my face.

She doesn't speak but she wraps her thin arms around the cables and I accidentally brush the backs of my fingers along her belly as I extricate myself from the bundle. My eyes jump to hers and suddenly I don't feel like smiling any longer. "Sorry," I mumble and instead of commenting I simply release the cables and then turn back to sift through the crates that she, mostly, lugged to the dumpster.

Once we passed the surveillance cameras I helped her pull the sled but she has been in a snit ever since. Her silence doesn't bother me. I like silence. In it you can contemplate every aspect of a situation or action. It is an Abnegation trait, being able to be silent in the moment. Dauntless seem to believe that there will be time for silence when they are dead.

Most of the computer components are broken bits but as I shift them aside I find what I am looking for. This hard drive is brand new and it is wrapped in static free plastic that is stamped with the Erudite symbol. Tris gasps and steps closer, suddenly understanding why I put her through this little exercise. Anyone else would be filling the space with unnecessary words demanding explanations but not Tris…She is Dauntless like I am Dauntless…Tempered by Abnegation.

It had been a calculated risk, this morning, hiding the stolen drive in the crates awaiting disposal but I took it anyway because even if I didn't have this particular drive I was planning to salvage computer parts today for myself. It isn't unusual for me or other dauntless to scavenge items for their living space but if I get caught with that drive it would be another story. I lift the back of my T-shirt and tuck the drive in my waistband. Tris shifts behind me and I quickly pull my shirt back Into place. Looking over my shoulder I find her curious gaze on the spot I stupidly exposed. I freeze and my stillness draws her eyes to mine. I can see the questions swimming in her eyes but she doesn't voice them, so, I turn back to the crates.

My fingers tingle slightly and I frown at this physical manifestation of fear. It is the sense of having part of my deepest parts exposed that has caused this numbness but it puzzles me because I have exposed far more of myself to this girl than anyone else. She has seen more of me than even my fear landscape revealed to the Dauntless and Erudite leaders. I have no doubt she knows who my father is, who I am, but she has not used what she knows against me.

It is only after I find two nearly perfect monitors which I set between us on the ground that it occurs to me that my reaction might be more like the nervousness I experienced on the few dates that Zeke dragged me into, only more. Those girls were nothing to me when they were gone my only lingering thoughts centered on how embarrassing it had been to be around them, but Tris, she occupies a good deal of my mind these days because I am stupid.

Sighing, I tip the broken bits out of the crate into the dumpster so that I can carry the computer parts up to my apartment in it. Without me telling her to, Tris puts the cables in the crate as soon as I sit the container down and then she bends to pick the monitors up. I find three processors in the last crate along with various other pieces and add them to our loot. Picking up the crate I notice the time. We have used more than half of Tris' lunch break.

"You should go get lunch," I tell her as I make my way to a street level door to the stairwell of my building. "You'll be sparring today."

"Not a chance," she says, "I want to know what is going on."

"Tris," I sigh, "We aren't going to talk about this today."

"But," she tries to persuade me but I think she knows I am right we don't have time today because she stops speaking, "Fine!"

"Come on," I say hitching my chin toward the door.

I know I should send her on her way but I cannot escape the fact that what Erudite is doing to Abnegation will affect her more than anyone, even me. I just nod and move the box to my hip so that I can pull the heavy door open. The stairwell is seldom used and does not have solar lighting so after we are inside the little concrete room is pitch black.

Once my eyes adjust I start up the stairs and I listen for Tris to follow me. She doesn't right away but then I hear tentative steps behind me and I pick up my pace. I live on the eighth floor so it is not a quick trip in the dark but she keeps up and when I pull the door open just down the hall from my apartment she is only three steps behind me.

Opening my apartment door is difficult with my hands full so I shift the crate and pull my key from my pocket. "Here," Tris says as she takes the box because I fumble the key a bit and I murmur, "Thanks."

I push the door open and gesture her inside. As I step inside behind her I am reminded of the box my mother gave me when I was a boy. My apartment is like the box it contains things that to some seem ordinary or simple but each item has its own appeal. There is no blue glass sculpture of flowing water here that is on my desk in my old room but there are things here just as beautiful.

Tris steps further into the room and immediately she is drawn to the words painted in red on the far wall, 'FEAR GOD ALONE'. I painted it there. I don't know what drove me to do so, but I do know it was after I dreamt of my father. Not all of the Abnegation are religious but the way Tris is staring at the words I think maybe her family might be one of the few that are. Marcus only prayed when he had people over and I think I remember listening to the bass of Andrew Priore praying once when he and his wife ate with Marcus.

I take the crate from her and set it aside murmuring, "Thanks."

While she wanders about my apartment trailing slender fingers over glass bottles of varying hues I go to my bathroom and get a bowl of water and a towel. I can't say why I feel compelled to uphold this Abnegation ritual. I just do. Tris is standing again in front of the painted wall when I carry the bowl to her. She hears me approach and turns to me but the sight of the bowl has arrested her attention. Her eyes skitter around the room until they land on the only place to sit an odd grey settee that is hard and uncomfortable, but she settles on the edge of the seat and looks up at me waiting with her hands pressed between her knees.

I carefully offer her the bowl and her eyes are oddly cautious as she raises her hands to dip them into the water three times. Instead of giving her the towel I set the bowl on the floor beside her and gently grasp one of her hands in my left so that I can pat it dry with the towel in the other.

Tris gasps and automatically covers my hand with hers stopping me. I freeze and she looks up into my eyes with a nervous sort of sound that is not quite a laugh, "Sorry," she murmurs.

"It's okay," I mutter and she releases my hand and I finish my task. "We should go."

"Yeah," she nods but neither of us moves. We are stuck in this moment of time and I feel as if things are changing. Like we are changing and some day in the distant future I will understand exactly how and only then will I understand how profound these few seconds actually were in the grand scheme of things. The moment is broken by Tris as her lashes flutter and she glances to her hands still in mine and that realization startles me and I drop them stepping away.

"We should go," she murmurs after a moment and her eyes look exactly like they did that day in the testing room when she told me I was approachable. "My instructor doesn't like it when I am late." Her smile is playful and I realize how inappropriate I have been.

I step back and nod looking away toward the words painted in scarlet on the wall. Taking a deep breath I look back at her and say, "Tris?"

"Yes," she asks and her eyes are wide with curiosity again.

"Braid your hair," I say, "I have the feeling Eric will try and pawn his little group of sociopaths off on me for hand-to-hand if Edward decides to stay. Peter is underhanded if you end up in the ring with him don't think that the rules of combat training will apply. It'll be him or you and for what it is worth I would rather it not be you." She nods and pulls the tie from her hair and the thick mass fans out around her shoulders for a moment before her slim fingers begin working it into a tight plait at the back of her head. As she finishes a thought occurs to me and I ask, "You remember what I said this morning?"

"Keep tension here," she asks with a frown as she places a hand on her stomach, "And attack first right to the throat."

"Yeah, that, too," I agree but add, "If you go against Peter you watch him. Peter steps before he punches."

"That's good to know," she nods and stands as we head to the Dauntless training room.

The walk to the training room gives me time to marshal my thoughts and formulate a plan. The program Lauren gave me is on the small flash drive in my pocket. It has already been installed on the main terminal in the control room and tomorrow during Visiting Day I will be putting the program on Max's computer. I am glad to have the computer components because I have been caught too many times watching Max, Eric and Jeanine in secret meetings. Besides now that I am a leader I don't have my work in the control center to use as an excuse to spy any more.

As we enter the training room I realize that I am actually anticipating Visiting Day and I think maybe Tris Priore just might be my friend.


	13. Mothers

Deviation: Mothers

Chapter Thirteen -FOUR

I cannot stifle a yawn as I stand away from my makeshift computer station. Letting my eyes travel over the screen that is cycling through all the surveillance footage in real time I feel a thrill of accomplishment. The computer parts had evidently been old control center work stations because as soon as I booted up the programs were initialized. Lauren's program lets my station work as if it is one of the computers in the control room so I can access and isolate any of the feeds and take them out of the general rotation. Using the false account that I set up for spying on Max and Jeanine while working with Gus will keep me anonymous and since the network is vast I should not be traceable if they discover I cut into the system.

It is three in the morning and I have not slept since yesterday when I awoke at four to do my fitness regime before waking the initiates for physical training. Peeling my shirt over my head I wipe my underarms with it and then toss it in the basket beside the bed.

Falling into bed I groan and settle on my back staring at the light from the city outside playing over the high ceiling and my mind wanders to a topic that takes second place only to the Erudite problem, Tris. Her spar with Peter had been, in a word, spectacular! I can't help but smile at the feeling of pride watching that little slip of an Abnegation girl put Peter in the infirmary, even if it was only until his nose could be set.

After leaving here we had gone back to the training room for hand-to-hand training, barely making it on time. Zeke began separating the initiates into sparring pairs when Eric and his team arrived. To say he was pissed because Edward was staying in Dauntless was an understatement.

"What are you keeping the weak ones so you have someone to blame when you fail," he accused in front of the initiates.

"Something like that," I told him with a smile. Eric may have come from Erudite but sometimes I knew he would have never been intelligent enough to thrive there. He was cunning, but he often over looked the obvious and being short sighted like that was crippling to strategic thinking. I wonder idly if he would have ever made it into Dauntless if Jeanine had not had her fingers in the mix.

Eric sneered and demanded, "Is your team ready to fight?"

"I was just pairing them up," Zeke answered.

Eric took one look at the pairings and shouted, "First Jumper in the ring," Tris moved past me with an apprehensive look in her eyes but she walked confidently to the mat and stepped up. "Who to pick," Eric pretended to deliberate and the he smiled evilly, "Peter!"

"I pegged that one," I murmured to no one but myself.

I looked back to Tris as Peter made a show of removing his jacket and our eyes met. Across the space I tried to tell Tris without words that she had this that she could do it. I tried to remind her of all the things I told her this morning and in my apartment moments before we left. She swallowed, took a deep breath and nodded slightly biting her lips closed. I could almost imagine her eyes telling mine she would do her best.

"Okay," Zeke called, "you're going to be scored on this so fight hard. The first person to concede will be docked a third of their points."

"No one concedes," Eric growls, "You may be coddling your team, but this is the big leagues. If you can't hack it and you have to quit we don't need you."

Peter had started taunting Tris from the moment he stepped onto the mat trying to intimidate her but I could see his deriding words having exactly the opposite effect. I almost could not contain my whoop of glee when Tris took my advice. While he was making some stupid comment about crying she slipped up and jabbed him hard in the throat catching him off guard and then she danced back and they went at it.

Every time peter landed a punch or a kick I felt my chest tighten. I hated watching as much as I loved seeing her use her slight, fragile looking body to inflict pain on the big mouthed Candor. Peter caught her with a glancing blow to the left cheek stunning her for a moment. The taunting started again as she moved out of range trying to get her bearings only they were more personal than before. "Does this remind you of Daddy," he asked her back, "Did he beat you like Marcus Eaton's kid?"

The mention of my father had every muscle in my body tensing to leap at the boy. He had no right to mention my father or me. Eric obviously had not shared my identity with his initiates and I like to think that it was because during our own sparring match the mention of him had caused me to react like flame to gas vapor. I could feel Eric's eyes shift to me but I didn't physically react. Tris' eyes found me and I could see the immediate reaction it was strange seeing the change in her; had that been the way I looked?

Peter made the mistake of keeping up his diatribe as he approached Tris' back it let her know exactly where he was and allowed her attack to come out of left field. One minute the boy had his mouth open spewing poisoned words the next Tris was coiling to strike. She used her whole body when she swung around, leaping into the air arm extended. Peter dodged the fist but she had allowed her momentum to carry her body around and the elbow of her left arm connected firmly with Peter's nose. The boy had crumpled into a nose gushing, bloody and unconscious heap. "My—parents—never—beat," each word was accompanied by a kick I don't think she even realized the jerk was unconscious, "anybody!"

My face hurts I am smiling so broadly remembering the look of her. She really was Dauntless and I can't imagine how she ever made it in Abnegation before Choosing Day. I ended up having to drag Tris away from the unconscious boy much the same way Amar had done for me. As I dragged her away she had screamed, "They are good people."

I am too keyed up to sleep now and I find my eyes going back to the computers. I can see the flickering of the closed circuit footage but it is the information on the other screen that I contemplate now. I have been so confused about the Abnegation because of what my parents and an entire faction did to me.

For seven years, I had immortalized my mother and the way she had loved me, but that was just a grieving boy's way of coping with the abusive life he had been dealt. The reality was that she had left me and had never tried to ease my grief or burden. She only came back to me when I was useful to her plans and that hurt. Marcus claimed he was trying to make me better, but better than what I had wanted to scream. Hadn't I tried to please him and do exactly what he wanted of me? Only I never quite succeeded in being better enough.

Tris believed the Abnegation were good people. She has the courage to stand up for them and I am sure now that I don't have to do this alone. We have become tentative friends but the information on that screen will demand a level of trust I have not put into anyone in a very long time. I learned very early that trust was something that was easily broken and this thought brings to mind the day I nicked Tris' ear.

She stood her eyes steady on mine as I threw knives at her and she never wavered, not until I cut her. I had to turn away quickly after the knife sunk into the back board because her eyes had gotten glassy with tears and hurt, but it hadn't been the physical kind of hurt. I realize now that I damaged the trust she had in me and unconsciously my right hand covers my chest as I feel my heart throb painfully. I am up before I even consciously decide what I am going to do to fix the trust between us.

I have been doing small things to fix it ever since but I don't think that I am going to succeed in time to do us any good before the Erudite destroys the peace of our city. Dauntless should be standing in the gap between Erudite and Abnegation protecting those that cannot and will not act to protect their selves.

Pulling open the middle locker I take out another t-shirt and pull it over my head as I sit down to pull on socks and shoes. I check the feed and find that the halls of Dauntless are quiet. I quickly isolate the feeds that cover the halls between my apartment, the initiate dorm and the fear landscape room before I slip out the door. I am taking a huge chance but I it will be worth it.

I make my way quickly to the dorm and then walk silently down the stairs. Tris sleeps with her back to me in the bed beside Christina and I am glad that it isn't deeper into the room. I move stealthily to her bedside and squat there for a moment taking in the sight of her. She looks so young in sleep with her hair spread across the pillow like a silky curtain. I feel almost electrified and my fingers are tingling again. This is a different kind of fear and I find that I enjoy the way it tightens the pit of my stomach. It also tells me I am making the right choice to try and build the trust that Tris has for me.

Reaching out I allow my fingers to cup her bare shoulder and I see that it sports a new tattoo. I am being inappropriate but I let my thumb stroke the circle surrounding the Dauntless flame and she startles awake. I release her immediately when she turns onto her back and stares wide-eyed up at me.

"Come on," I whisper, "There is something I want to show you."

I pick up her boots and pull her socks out of them so she can put them on her feet. She is staring wide eyed at me but she quickly tosses the blanket aside and puts her socks on. I back away while watching her get out of bed before turning and heading for the stairs. I hand her boots to her and place a hand on her lower back to guide her onto the dark stairs. She passes me and I hear rustling across the room. I turn my sharp gaze into the room but the movement has stopped and then I hear Al snoring loudly. It was probably just someone turning in their sleep.

We are silent as I lead her to the Fear Landscape Room. She is hugging her boots to her chest and watching me with a slight frown as if trying to decide what my motives are. I turn the handle on the door and the mechanism groans in protest; it needs to be oiled. As soon as I am inside I begin getting the syringe ready filling it with enough for two. She just stands in the door way looking uncertain.

"Close the door," I say and I know I try to sound less stern but she quickly steps in and closes the door. "This is the Fear Landscape room," I explain, "Remember I told you the second stage of training is overcoming your fear?"

"Yes," she nods as she drops her boots and pushes her feet into them.

"It is also the stage of training that will be most dangerous for you because of your Divergence." I explain, "You," I start to say but decide to show her the same sort of trust that I want, "We—we can manipulate the simulations." Her eyes widen and I nod as if their question had been verbalized. "That is what you have to avoid," I say as I move and ready the computer to enter my fears. "So, we are going to practice," I tell her hardly able to meet her eyes. "We'll go in together."

"In my fear landscape," she asks and she sounds as horrified as I would expect.

"No," I say swallowing the lump in my throat, "In mine."

Her eyes widen and I can almost see the thoughts racing through her mind before she speaks, "Have you—," she swallows and then continues more, "Have you done this before?"

"No," I shake my head. I must look uncertain because she quietly asks, "Are you sure you want to?"

"Why wouldn't I," I ask feeling better about my decision because she is taking this very seriously and my fears are really serious business to me.

"You haven't even told me your real name," she murmurs and her eyes are searching mine as if she can divine my secrets with her eyes alone. "Or why they call you Four and now you just want to let me inside your head. Doesn't that frighten you?"

"Does it frighten you," I ask but I can tell it does and I know in that instant I know that one of Tris' fears will involve intimacy. I don't tell her that she has revealed this to me I simply answer, "No," it was never intimacy that was my problem. My problem is my wanting to hide my shameful weakness from the Dauntless around me.

Realizing that intimacy is one of her fears I decide to give her something else to think about, "Why don't you see if you can answer those questions while we are in there."

Hitting the final key on the computer keyboard to start booting my landscape I carry the serum filled syringe to the chair. We will have to share the seat in order to hook ourselves to the computer. I adjust it to my length and then I sit down. I guide her to stand in front of me and then I slip my left hand under her hair and cup the side of her neck. Her eyes widen and I can feel the jump of her pulse under my palm.

"Just relax," I murmur to her as I raise the syringe to the right side of her throat, "It won't hurt much as it goes in—just a deep sort of ache." I watch as her eyelids flutter a bit and then she meets my gaze head on and I ease the needle into her neck. She bites her lip and a small sound escapes her throat but she doesn't tense or pull away from me. I push the plunger and as the serum enters her bloodstream I find my own heart rate accelerating. I have injected myself hundreds of times and I have injected other initiates thousands but I have a visceral reaction to injecting Tris. Easing the needle from her flesh I swallow and offer the device to her. Tris takes it looking oddly frightened and I wonder if she had as primitive a response as I did while I injected her.

"I've never done this," she says as she fumbles with the heavy metal device. I let my fingers slide along her throat for an instant before bringing them to my own neck and pointing to the spot.

"Right here," I tell her quietly as if afraid to destroy this odd intimacy.

Tris nods and her eyes search mine for a moment before they flick to the spot on my throat where my blood is singing through my arteries. I watch her face as the needle pierces my skin and I can see her eyes dilate and she huffs out a light breath as she pushes the serum into my body and then our eyes are connected once more. Taking the syringe from her hands I let it drop to the floor and then I pull her up into the chair until she is resting between my thighs.

I attach the lead to my temple and then scoop her hair over her shoulders and place another lead on hers. I settle back into the chair gently taking her with me until her head and shoulders rest on my stomach. She is fidgeting with her hands not sure where to put them so I run my fingers from her shoulder to her elbows guiding her hands to rest on my knees. I can feel the serum begin to work even as I realize that I have never been so close to another human being. I lick my lips and let my eyes close as I realize that I like the way she feels against me.

My fear landscape is as I expected it to be and by the time we have completed all four I am feeling the lack of sleep. We sit up as one but she is calm and I am still gasping for breath. She turns to look at me and I see respect where I expected pity to be. I let the backs of my fingers slide along her cheek as I remove the lead from her temple. Our gazes locked.

"Four," she murmurs and a slight smile tips her lips upward, "Four fears?"

"Four then and four now," I nod, "I keep going in but they never go away."

"Why did you make that your name," she asks quietly.

"I—I didn't want to be Marcus Eaton's son," I admit to my shame looking away as I follow it up with the story of how Amar gave me the name after my first Fear simulation. "Most people have ten to fifteen really bad ones but I have just the four."

"Why did you show me this now," she asks, "You could have waited until the next stage of training."

"I could have," I agree, "But I—damaged something that I realized was important to me and I needed to fix it." She looks confused and I find myself smiling a little as I help her out of the chair and move to stand over her. "Yesterday," I answer, "You forgave me but I don't want us to have trust issues between us."

"Why do you even care," she asks a little too flippantly for my liking and turns away. I catch her elbow and turn her back until I am able to meet her eyes.

"You know why," I say intensely and her eyes dilate again as she nods. "I need someone to trust and I want that person to be you." Her eyes widen and I realize that even though she understands why it frightens her. "I promise," I whisper, "I won't hurt you again."

"What if Eric—, she starts to say but I cut her off by cupping her cheek and pressing my thumb to her lips.

"I won't let that happen," I promise.

"Even to save me," she whispers and her lips move over the sensitive pad of my thumb and my entire body reacts to the movement. That is a hard question to answer and I want to take back my promise, but I can't so I close my eyes and search for the right words.

"If your life is in danger," I say as I open my eyes, "I will do anything to save you…except that."

"Why," she asks me her eyes searching mine. "Why does it matter if I trust you?"

"I don't just want you to trust me," I tell her, "I want to trust you."

I walked Tris back to the dorm and waited by the door until she disappeared down the steps. It was not even dawn on Visiting Day so most of Dauntless would be sleeping in. I released the cameras as soon as I got back to my apartment and then crawled into bed without even removing my boots.

I awake on my third Visiting Day since choosing Dauntless and instead of heading down to the training room to beat my fists bloody against a bag, until the dust and sweat in the room permeate my being for days, I watch Max and Eric. Eric is going about his day like it is any other and Max is acting like the gracious Dauntless sovereign.

I watch until the families arrive and then I pull the scrap of paper I have kept hidden in my jacket pocket since I watched Max pick out his password with two pointer fingers. His password; I figure that being Dauntless Max will not be paranoid enough to change it as often as say Jeanine might. The digits are ingrained on my brain but I will take the paper with me just in case.

I isolate the footage and leave my apartment. I have to walk through the Pit to get to the corridor that leads to Max's office and I see a few of my initiates in clusters together with their team mates and family. I notice that Peter's face is swollen and his eyes are black, blue and lured purple. His mother is busily clucking her tongue and asking if he needed to sit as I pass. I am stepping onto the bridge over the chasm when I see Tris hugged tight to a woman in gray Abnegation clothes, her mother doing the same from the other side. Tris' gaze finds mine and I can see that she is worried about her mother and me meeting; although I don't know if she is worried her mother will recognize me or if she is afraid I will somehow upset her mother.

We meet in the middle of the chasm and Natalie Priore leaves her daughter's arms to greet me with her hand held out. I have never felt comfortable with the Dauntless form of greeting. I never know how long to hold the hand, how tight to grasp it or how many times to shake, but Natalie Priore does not seem fazed by the act. Her hand grasps mine firmly and she pumps it three times slowly while saying, "Hello, I'm Natalie Priore, Beatrice's mother."

"Mom," Tris interrupts as she steps up beside her mother, "This is Four, one of the Dauntless leaders in charge of my training."

"Four," she smiles. "Is that a nickname?"

"Yes," I say and then change the subject. Natalie couldn't possibly know who I am she only saw me a few times and I was skinny and scrawny then. I have changed a great deal since then. "You should be proud of Tris," I say emphasizing her Dauntless name, "She is doing well in her training."

"Tris," Natalie murmurs looking toward her daughter taking in the girl beside her and I can see that she is cataloguing all the differences between Beatrice and Tris. She is wearing the same outfit from the day I threw knives at her and her hair is left loose falling in a heavy curtain around her shoulders. Tris' tattoo is not hidden but it isn't overtly displayed either. She looks stronger than the day I dragged her fragile, bird-like body out of the net and the way she stands is firm and steady. After a moment Natalie just nods and says, "It suits you my strong, beautiful girl." Tris blushes and I know she is uncomfortable with the praise as much as she is having me hear it, so I excuse myself and make my way to Max's office.

The whole process of sneaking in, accessing Max's computer and getting out again has my adrenaline pumping through my veins as I close the door. I am almost to the turn that will take me to the chasm bridge when I hear murmured voices. I freeze for a moment afraid I will be discovered, but then I realize that the voice I hear is Natalie Priore's and the words she is saying are dangerous words. I hurry toward the hall bend in the corridor and I feel anger bubbling up inside me. Tris obviously told her mother about her Divergence and the woman is busy explaining how the second stage of training will put her in danger.

I am reminded of the conversation Amar and I had in a corridor very much like this one; the conversation that led to Amar's death. Tris has her back to the wall and her mother is in front of her and she still has not heard my approach. Who else could have heard this conversation? Didn't Natalie Priore realize she was endangering her daughter?

"Tris," I say loudly as I stride up to them, "Why don't we give your mother a tour?" I grasp them both by the elbow and Natalie squeaks but Tris just sags against my arm a bit. The conversation with her mother was making her uncomfortable. I didn't release them until we were approaching the pit. Tris twines her arm with her mother's and I step out in front of them leading them to the door that will take us out by the loading dock.

The sun is nearly blindingly bright when I push the door open and we all have to wait for our eyes to adjust before I set off across the ally to a spot that I know is camera free. As soon as we round the building I turn and Natalie Priore who has only calmed slightly since I took her elbow steps back away from me. I imagine my anger has made my face monstrous.

"Four," Tris says quietly stepping between me and her mother. She is trying to sooth me but I don't let my gaze leave Natalie Priore's. I don't know why I am reacting so violently but all I can think is that this woman is putting Tris in danger. The thought has my fists tightening at my sides and then Tris is stepping closer to me murmuring softly, "Four, please," as she wraps her cool fingers around one of my fists.

The contact is electric and I gasp as my gaze flies to Tris'. She looks nervous…I have made her that way. "She put you in danger," I growl. "The cameras—

"You know," Natalie Priore's gasp draws our attention and Tris turns to her mother.

"Four administered the test," she explains, "He has been protecting me ever since."

"Then why did you join Dauntless," her mother demands and I can see where Tris gets her backbone.

"Because I couldn't stay in Abnegation," Tris mutters, "I didn't fit in there but I always thought the Dauntless were amazing."

Her mother stares long and hard at her daughter and then she nods with tears in her eyes. "I forgot about the cameras," she apologizes. "I hope I have not put you in danger."

"You don't need to worry," I tell her, "I will watch out for her, but I think you should get back to the pit and refrain from discussing topics that will paint a target on Tris' head until Visiting Day is over."

Natalie Priore nodded and then cocked her head to the side and murmured, "You remind me of someone, Four."

I stiffened but then Tris was speaking to her mother and her words are calculated to stop Natalie's prying, "I don't know who. It isn't like Four makes a habit of hanging out in Abnegation."

"You're right," her mother says but I see recognition in the woman's eyes and then she is extending her hand to me again and I grasp it uncomfortably again, "Thank you for taking care of Tris for me, Four."

I just nod and release her hand before heading back to my apartment. There are two things I learned today and both have the capacity to destroy my hard won new life. The first is that Tris is far more important to me than I realized and the second is that war within the Factions is inevitable. The question bouncing around inside my head for the rest of the day was which one would be the death of me first.


	14. Victors

Deviation: Victors

Chapter Fourteen—Tris

I feel my throat clogging and I am almost afraid to move this could be a dream. My eyes rove over the names on the board and I cannot believe what I am seeing; it is the night before our seventh day and we have been called into the pit by Max, Four and Eric. We have one final task that might change our rankings but those of us with our names listed in white above the red line at least have a chance of making it passed the cut tomorrow.

My teammates are cheering. Almost all of Four's team is above the red line. Will is hugging Christina from behind speaking into her ear and she is smiling at whatever praise he is heaping on her. I am pleased to see Edward is still above the red line at twelfth and so is Lynn who is listed in fourteenth place, but it is my ranking that has me astonished.

At first, I can't define the emotion singing through my body but then I look away from the board and see that Four's eyes are shining with a similar light as he offers me a slight but genuine smile. Pride…It is pride in my accomplishments mixed with the knowledge that I am where I should be. I am Dauntless.

"I guess I should say congratulations; eighteenth is really good," Al says beside me and I smile. He is smiling but it seems kind of false. He looks at the ranking board. "I guess all those extra lessons with Four made a difference."

"What," I ask as if I am confused by his words. I can feel my heart begin to pound, my face has become brittle and I feel anger rising up in me as I say, "He was in the training room when I snuck down there after my Sparring match with Lynn. It isn't like he went out of his way to help only me."

"I was awake when he came and got you day before yesterday," Al says but he doesn't look at me as he speaks. His eyes are on the tally board. "I guess whatever he had to show yo—

"If you don't like your rank, Al, maybe you should start making an effort," I snap cutting off the rest of his words. I feel a twinge of guilt for what I just said because Al is right Four and I have something to hide and if it wasn't something that would get us both killed I would probably have reacted differently. "You think that the rest of us don't know you have thrown every fight since the first day Eric's team started sparring with us. Four was helping me that's true, but it isn't anything he wouldn't do for you if you asked. I came from Abnegation, Al, I was the least physically fit and unlike some people I was not given a warrior's stature."

"Tris," Al says his eyes finally on me and he looks conflicted.

"No," I shake my head, "Four has helped more than me and you know that! I earned my rank fair and square." I stand ramrod straight beside '_my friend_' and feel my buoyant mood of earlier deflate.

"You're right," he finally concedes. "I just don't like when people do better than me."

"I am one better," I sigh, and uncross my arms as I look up at him, "You could be giving Peter a run for his money if you just made the effort and you know it."

"You're right," he nods looking away. "I don't know what the matter with me is."

I can see the truth to those last words and I sigh heavily and reach out grasping his arm as I say earnestly, "Stop holding back, Al, you can be Dauntless if you try your best."

The crowd around us quiets down a little and then Max is addressing us again, "The Initiate War is a long and hallowed tradition at Dauntless. It is like capture the flag," Max is telling us about the last task that will decide our final rank tomorrow. "There will be two teams; Four and Eric are Captains. As your name is called you come stand beside your team leader."

Eric and Four move to opposite sides of the table and the tension in each of us is ramped up as they study us. I find Eric staring at me considering as I hear Four call out, "You pick first."

For a moment I am afraid that Eric is going to call my name but then his eyes shift beside me and he calls out, "Edward." I turn to see the hate filled sneer on Edward's face. He is tall and I think he is handsome in that sort of way that Caleb is handsome even with the eye patch. I think it is a calculated risk for Eric to choose Edward because even though he has fallen in the ranks since losing the eye he is still Erudite smart. I think Eric believes he will be an asset to his team but I think that Eric underestimates exactly how much his betrayal hurt Edward.

"Good luck, Edward," I say as he crosses in front of me and he gives a slight nod as he goes to stand with Eric.

Four looks over the group and then says nonchalantly, "I'll take the Stiff."

"Make you feel at home does she," Eric asks in low tones that only Four is meant to hear, "Miss those gray robes?"

Four shrugs and looks at Edward, "Just taking a page out of your book, Eric, are you saying you miss the blue?"

Eric sneers and then picks his next team member. The choosing takes another thirty minutes and in the end Eric's team has a majority of above-the-line members whereas Four's team is equally mixed with red and white names. The run for the train was just as exhilarating as my first. There was something dangerous about hopping a train after dark that is missing during the sunlight hours.

While Four and Eric retrieve the special Initiate War Weapons we will use the two teams' huddle on opposite ends of the train excitedly chatting. Uriah is in the center of our group expounding on the fortuitous luck that brought us to Four's team. "He's won every year since he transferred in!"

Eric's team leaps first and then we continue to the next safe jump and then we walk. I am silent as my teammates discuss where we should hide our flag letting them decide. We approach an area that looks as if it was once a very exciting place in the distant past but like everything else outside of the Faction Zones it was left to degrade.

"Lights off and gather around," Four calls as he shakes out our brightly glowing yellow flag. "Who has a plan?"

My eyes have continually been drawn to the large wheel like structure behind us and I almost suggest we use it to try and find Eric's team. However, the bickering that arises from too many points-of-view being voiced stops me. I glance back at the Ferris wheel and then turn back to the group catching Four's eyes on me before they shift behind me. His jaw tightens and I remember what he showed me in his fear landscape. Christina and Uriah are getting louder so I just turn and jog up to the structure. Four follows me and I turn back to him as he steps up to the ladder behind me.

"You don't have to come with me," I say quietly. "I'm just getting a better vantage point."

"I know I don't have to come," he says his deep voice pitched low as he begins climbing and I hear humor in his words, "Just making sure you don't try and jump."

"I'm not going to jump," I say with a smile. Shaking my head I move up the rungs.

We are climbing for about five minutes and the whole time I am hyper aware of Four behind me. Although his breathing is a little faster than normal he is climbing steadily, climbing even though I know this is difficult for him. I am jolted to the side as the rung I am standing on gives way but a strong hand on my side steadies me. The hem of my shirt must have worked its way out of my pants because his callused palm is against my bare skin.

"Are you okay," Four asks and the concern in his voice is tempered by fear.

"I'm fine," I manage as I right myself and slowly take the next step up but I am distracted by the strange swoop in my belly. It intensifies as Four's fingers slip from my skin and I have to lick my lips to reassure him that I really am good. It is strange that nearly falling to my death did not frighten me as much as my reaction to his touch on my skin.

"Why heights," I ask needing to distract myself as I reach an odd junction in the ladder that will require us to climb over it to get to the last section of steps.

"Wha'," he asks breathing heavily and as I turn back to him I see the perspiration that is glistening on his skin. His eyes when they meet mine are troubled but still he is climbing and I am impressed with his ability to work through the panic I know is threatening to blind him.

"Why do you think you are afraid of heights," I clarify and he stops mid-climb to glare at me.

"Didn't we decide that discussing the origin of my fears was not helpful," he asks reminding me of the discussion of his fear of tight spaces. Now he is glancing around nervously saying, "This is high enough."

"No," I deny as I shake my head looking around. I still can't see far enough yet. "We have to go higher." I start climbing again and even though his body is trembling with the effects of fear he follows after me. "As for discussing your fears," I say, "I just want to know what caused it."

"Everyone is afraid of something, Tris." He says breathlessly. "There doesn't have to be a rational reason."

"I know," I agree, "For most people that is true but not for you. You aren't afraid the same way other people are afraid," I say, "All your other fears have a basis in reality."

"As are most people's fears I don't have a corner on that market," Four points out. I have reached the end of the ladder and I am now working my way up the crossbeams. "Are you even human," he asks and there is the thread of amusement in his voice. I reach the highest I can go and he pulls himself up on the same crossbeam. I smile at him and I feel a curl of giddiness in my belly at the sight of his brave face.

"See," I ask smiling up into his agitated eyes, "This isn't so bad."

Four's reply is an inarticulate, "Yeah," and it isn't convincing in the least. I can't help but smile broader as I drink in the experience. Even though Four is terrified of heights he is still up here with me and that isn't a small thing. He is willing to face his fears for me and that makes my heart thump heavily in my chest.

Pulling my eyes away from the way Four is licking his lips and tensing his jaw I see the tell-tale greenish glow of Eric's flag. "Look," I say pointing toward the tower building that the other team is using.

The trip down the Ferris Wheel is not as un eventful as going up it; if Four hadn't been there with me I would be lying in a broken heap at the bottom of this relic of a world long past. There is something about almost dying twice in one night that has my blood pumping through my veins and I feel so alive as we make our way to engage Eric's team. Will, Christina and I follow Four up the side stairs while Uriah and the others engage Eric's team head-on.

"On me," Four commands and we set off across the courtyard. We duck behind a shipping container and Four glances over his shoulder meeting my gaze. "Will and I will flank them while you and Christina go for the flag. It will be guarded but Eric will most like have his weakest members up there."

I nod because I know that Four has watched Eric for years and he understands him. Eric will put the weakest link inside because he thinks the others will be enough to keep us at bay. "Okay," I nod and move to crouch beside him as he looks out toward the fire fight to our left.

"Go," Four whispers, "Good luck." As soon as Christina are on our way he and Will move toward the action and I lose track of them in the mix.

We only encounter minimal resistance in the form of a cocky Peter who I dispatch with much glee. Christina didn't have to shoot him, technically my sim-dart was enough to put him out of the game, but who was I to begrudge her a little satisfaction. We enter the tower and I am surprised that Eric doesn't have anyone guarding the downstairs.

Christina takes a position in the stairs where she has cover and I head up to the bell tower. Things happen quickly from the moment I push the hatch door open. Al and I trade sim-dart fire until we are out of ammo and then I am balanced in the door kicking him back. He falls into the wall giving me time to clear the door and engage the slightly shocked, Al. I learned a thing or two sparring Peter so I use my elbow and the metal barrel of my weapon to put Al out cold. I feel a sense of pride when I am there leaning over the wall with the enemies flag waving from my hand and proclaiming our team's victory.

Christina and I run downstairs to whoop with the rest of our team as we are enveloped in the midst of them. I am smiling so big my cheeks hurt and I can only shake my head disbelievingly when I meet Four's intense gaze. He is removed from our group of cheering Dauntless initiates flush with victory and I wonder if he has always stayed separate from the others. It seems wrong somehow that he does not enjoy our victory.

"Tris," Uriah calls and I look away from Four meeting Uriah's smiling face, "You coming with us?"

"Where," I ask.

"A short cut back to the base," he says, "A little initiation ritual Dauntless-style."

"Sure," I agree, happy to be included. "Give me a minute."

I turn looking for Four and find him walking away from the throng. "Four," I call as I run to catch up with him and grasp his arm stopping him. "Aren't you coming with the rest of us," I ask breathlessly.

"I wasn't invited," he hedges and I think he sounds slightly afraid again, like earlier while we were on the Ferris wheel.

"I'm inviting you then," I tell him firmly.

"Tris," he sighs and looks uncomfortable, "They are taking you zip-lining."

"Zip-lining," I ask and my body lights up with excitement.

"Yeah," he tells me with a quirk to his lips, "Off the top of a one hundred story building."

"Seriously," I gasp and I am unable to keep the excitement from my voice. "Have you ever done it?"

"No," he laughs embarrassed, "Zeke has asked me but I have never gone; I am sure you can figure out why."

I feel disappointed and I think it must show on my face because Four's eyes become troubled and he looks away from me. I didn't mean to make him feel bad so I grasp his hand and squeeze. "Will I see you after," I ask and try not to sound too pathetically hopeful. Ever since he shared his fear landscape with me I have felt pulled toward him even more than that first slight tug of attraction I felt when he helped me out of the net on choosing day.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll see you when you get back to Dauntless."

"Good," I murmur and then I immerse myself in the rowdy Dauntless group that are heading toward one of the tallest buildings in the city.

I am sailing through the air and I feel like I am a bird gliding about on the wind. My gaze is caught by the mirrored glass of one high rise's windows and then I am astounded to see the Ferris wheel I climbed with Four earlier looking small in comparison to my height now. I am so exhilarated by the sight that I laugh and I think I might have tears in my eyes, but I blame that on the wind in my face instead of the overwhelming knowledge that I am very small compared to the world around me.

When I get to the end I just barely stop before I smash head first into the wall lit with a large 'X'. I crow with triumph and then I am releasing myself from the harness and dropping into my fellow Dauntless' hands. I accept pats from veteran Dauntless and hugs from my teammates and having my hair ruffled by Zeke and then I make my way back to the compound on my own. The others will wait until the last person has ridden down and then they will return together, but I am in a hurry. I want to see Four and tell him how amazing it is to be Dauntless.

I enter through the building that houses the net I jumped into on Choosing Day and then head down the same metal stairs that Four lead us down that day. It isn't until I reach the first stone corridor that I feel as if something isn't quite right and I stop and listen trying to figure out what it is. It happens quickly. Someone grabs me from behind gripping my arm tight enough to hurt and covering my mouth so I can't scream. Another grabs up my feet and still another helps restrain my other arm. I kick and buck throwing them off balance for a moment but they recover quickly and I am only one slight girl against three larger opponents.

"Come on," I hear the muffled voice but I don't really recognize it.

They are carrying me toward the chasm and I renew my struggles biting down on the fleshy hand over my mouth until I taste blood. Instantly the hand is gone and I scream as loud as I can. "Come on get her over," one says and I recognize the voice as Peter. They have me with my back to the chasm but I am not going to let them kill me without a fight. I wrench one arm free and punch the one in the middle and I am able to claw the mask off of the third and I feel such betrayal for a moment and then I am kicking and scrabbling toward him.

I see a blur to my right and then Al is being torn away from me. I barely register Four bashing him head first into the marble wall and tossing him back toward the main corridor and away from the ledge. He moves very quickly as he pulls me behind him and pushes me toward the main corridor as he engages my other two attackers. He is meting out justice with his fists and I find his fluid movements as beautiful as they are deadly when he flips one attacker and steps between them to engage Peter. He knocks Peter to the stone floor and then turns to strike another blow on the slowly recovering third attacker before smashing his face into the wall and then using the man's momentum to drive his face into Four's knee. He turns just as Peter is gaining his feet and then he aims a kick right at his knee cap sending Peter face first into the ground.

I am staring in shock as Four grasps my shoulders and I feel his callused palm against my throbbing shoulder. "Are you okay," he demands and all I can do is stare up at Four wide-eyed, but I think I might have nodded.

He takes me to his apartment and I don't even protest when he helps me remove my torn jacket. I am in shock. He leads me to his bed and tells me, "You should lie down you're safe here. I need to take the trash to the infirmary." I just nod and sit down on the side of his bed with my back ramrod straight.

I am still sitting there when Four gets back. He takes in my torn tank top and tells me he will be right back. When he comes back he is carrying one of his sweaters, "Here put this on," he says gently and for some reason his gentle treatment just makes me hurt more. I push my arms into the sleeves and pull the black material over my head not bothering to pull my hair free.

Four steps away and then he is setting a metal bowl with water in it beside my feet. He kneels and takes my hand in a firm grip as he begins to clean the blood from my abraded knuckles.

"I can't believe Al," I murmur as he cleans my other hand.

"He's afraid," Four says and his voice sounds odd as if he doesn't want to be the voice of reason but he is trying for my sake. "It makes him hate you. It makes him hate himself."

"Is that an excuse," I ask.

Four sets the cloth aside and he looks up at me with stark eyes as he says, "No, it isn't."

I feel my heart throb painfully and a tear escapes my lashes and traces over my bruised cheek. Four frowns and uses the back of his finger to wipe it away before gently cupping my cheek in his large hand. My breath hitches as his eyes roam my face to focus on my lips and his thumb traces over my cheek to caress my lips making me gasp and breaking Four out of his thoughts.

He pulls his hand away and stands and I am looking up into his expressive features trying to figure out what just happened when he tells me gruffly, "You should lie down."

I nod and swallow as I murmur, "Okay."

"I'll take the floor," he says and turns away.

"Tobias," I say and I can't believe I used his real name but when he turns back there is something in his dark eyes that says he liked hearing his name in my voice. "Thank you."

He simply nods and pulls one of the pillows from the bed tossing it on the floor a few feet away. I stand up and pull the blankets down, peeling one off and offering it to him. His fingers graze mine as he takes it and I flinch, my eyes jumping to his. He pulls the blanket to his chest his fists white knuckled.

"It isn't you," I try to explain.

He nods and takes a step away before stretching the blanket out and lying down on his back and pulling a the blanket over him. I climb into Four—Tobias' bed and pull his blankets up over me and I am surrounded by the smell of him, like Dauntless soap and something spicy that I have not noticed on anyone else. Four reaches up and turns off the paper globe that serves as his bedside lamp. I close my eyes and breathe deeply taking the scent of him in and letting to soothe my frazzled nerves. I hold it in for a long time and I must have huffed loudly because I hear Four shift and then he is saying quietly, "You're safe here, Tris."

"I know," I murmur just as quietly.

I drift off to sleep listening to his breathing and my last thought before sleep pulls me under is that I belong here. I am Dauntless and I think perhaps I was meant for this wounded boy.


	15. Comrade

Deviation: Allies

Chapter Fifteen- TRIS

I awake as Four leaves his bathroom pulling a black t-shirt down over his muscular abdomen and I catch sight of the same lashing black ink wrapping around his side and following the contours above his hip bone that traces along the back of his neck. I know I should look away or close my eyes and pretend to still be sleeping but I don't because the way that ink curls around his body reminds me of imprint on my arm from the belt during his fourth fear. It means something to him, more than Dauntless ink on skin; I know it does. Four stills and I let my eyes leave that spot, now covered by his t-shirt, to meet his dark gaze and he looks just as uncertain as I feel.

"Are you feeling better," he asks moving to stand beside the bed. His words come out a little tersely but I know that is just Four. Even last night when he was trying his best to be gentle he still has a hardness to him that I recognize because I have it, too. I nod, sitting up and shoving my hair over my shoulder.

"Yeah," I murmur and his eyes study me looking for the truth and then it is his turn to nod. "Can I ask you something?" My eyes widen when these words escape my lips because I did not consciously think to speak.

"Sure," he says with a slight quirk of his lips and I become breathless with the power of that slight smile and the intensity I see in his eyes.

"What's your tattoo," I ask and my voice is low and serious because it is Tobias I am asking Four to reveal.

He gives me a half smile and looks away; the same way he did to Christina on Choosing Day and I think he is going to shut me down the same way but he doesn't. Instead, he looks back taking a half step closer to the bed and asks quietly, "Do you want to see it?"

I feel my stomach swoop and my heart jumps into my throat so that I cannot speak and I just nod in answer with a nervous smile. His tattoo is on his back and to show it to me he will have to remove his shirt. I have never seen a man without a shirt before. In Abnegation modesty is sacrosanct and after I was old enough to bath myself even my mother did not see me naked. Here, I shower after everyone else has gone to bed or left the dorm to other parts of Dauntless. Still I have seen more skin bared here, arms and legs and collars that dip lower than the Abnegation find acceptable but seems almost negligible to the Dauntless.

Four inhales deeply and then turns his back to me pulling his shirt over his head as he does. My mouth falls open speechless. Artistic Dauntless flames curl around his torso like stripes left by a belt. They mark him outwardly as his father's beatings had inwardly, permanently. I unfold from the bed and stand close to him as if I am being drawn by an invisible cord.

"You're the only person I've ever shown it to," he confides and I hear the almost vulnerable tone of his words but I can't wrap my head around that statement. He has been here for two years and to say that he is impressive by Dauntless standards is like saying that the Abnegation are fond of grey.

"How's that possible," I breathe, "Why?"

"I was Abnegation," he laughs a little self-consciously, "Aside from double dates that Zeke roped me into, both of which went so badly Zeke washed his hands of me, I haven't been interested in anyone." I hear the unspoken, 'until you' that seems to echo through my mind with frightening clarity. "Dauntless girls are confusing." I wonder if my being a former Abnegation girl in some way excludes me from being lumped into the confusing Dauntless girl category and whether that is a good thing or bad.

"Well," I murmur licking my lips, "It's incredible." My fingers find and trace one slashing Dauntless flame to the faction symbol at the top of his spine. It is Dauntless. He tenses and I hear him catch his breath and my fingers feel how he holds it in. It is exhilarating and scary affecting him this way. "The factions," I say as I trace my fingers along them to the Amity symbol that I saw days ago. Four angles his head toward me and I see apprehension furrowing his brow, "Why do you have all of them?"

"I don't want to be just one thing," he meets my eyes and adds resolutely, "I cannot be; I want to be brave and I want to be selfless...Honest, intelligent and kind." He turns around with a smirk and then he adds, "Although, I'm still working on kind." My hand was still on his back when he turned so now my palm is cupping the lashing Dauntless flames at his side and we are so close. I didn't realize how close until I was face-to-face with him and I catch my breath as he lifts a hand to brush my hair away from my face. My other hand moves to his other side and I think I pulled myself closer but maybe it was him. Because suddenly there is no room between us and his other hand is on my lower back warm against my skin beneath my borrowed sweater.

"Four," I say and my voice breaks a little as he presses his forehead to mine and we share a breath.

"Tobias," he corrects just as quietly, "I like when you say it."

"Tobias," I say and I close my eyes afraid because of the feelings coursing through my body and because I don't know what he will expect from me, "I—I don't want to go too fast."

"It's okay," he murmurs and I catch my breath and we both freeze as his lips press to my forehead for a long moment. "This is enough." And he is right, I think, this is enough at least for now.

AN: This is a conglomeration of the scenes from the book Four and the movie. I loved Four's POV from the book where they are in the hall after Al's memorial. If you haven't read the Four book you should because it really is intense. I, also, know we all MUST agree that Theo James looks like he can really lay a hot one on a girl…I mean seriously the way he kisses in the movie…Yowsa! I have seen plenty of screen kisses that looked depressingly bad, but that boy is delightfully good. However, in this story they have only known each other a grand total of eight days and they both came from a really repressed society. In the book Four's thoughts about just holding her being enough was refreshing and exciting because if such a simple embrace was titillating then how much better would it be when they really decide to go for something more intimate?

Also, I would like to say major changes are in the offing because the little tweaks will have a snowball-like effect. So, extreme AU war is ahead so sit back and fasten your seatbelts…The ride will be bumpy.


	16. Better

Deviation: Better Man

Chapter Sixteen- FOUR

I sit at the table, my dinner forgotten in front of me, and try to find the peace I found when I transferred to Dauntless more than two years ago, now. I feel desolate, gutted and lost instead. It is still noisy with music and laughing and the people still act raucous and free but I know different; they are just as trapped here as any faction. We are supposed to be defenders but what Erudite and Max are planning will turn our once noble Faction into mindless killers. It will destroy our city it can't, not. As soon as they make their move, even if they are successful, both Dauntless and Erudite will likely implode…Unless…I finger the vial in my pocket and the cold glass against my fingers makes me shiver.

My eyes drop to my plate lest anyone read the anguish that has settled over me at the thought that Erudite will keep us, Dauntless, like pets on the leash of chemical mind control. The sight of my food turns my stomach and I have to leave…Leave now before I vomit up every bit of this terrible knowledge with the little I have managed to eat this evening. I push to my feet abruptly and I feel a slight figure collide with my shoulder, Tris. She must have been in the process of sitting down at my side but I was so deep in my own wretched thoughts I didn't notice and I have knocked her to the floor.

"Tris," I say for the first time coming out of my fugue state. Bending down I help her to her feet and ask intensely, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," she laughs a little but then she sobers when my scowl deepens, "I'm fine Four I've taken worse falls in training." I know she is right. I have even watched her take them, but I am in a place tonight that skates too close to the scared, angry Abnegation boy I used to be and perhaps the angry, hurtful man that boy might have become if I had not forced him into a box deep in my mind.

She must see something of my agitation on my face because she turns to Christina and murmurs something I can't hear and then she is turning back toward me and her eyes move inviting me to follow her before she turns. I follow, of course I follow, she has become my magnetic North, and I can't, not. The way she cuts a path through the room is sure and her carriage is centered and steady, ready for anything. It is strange to think Tris was not always here, a part of Dauntless. She leads me up the stairs into the hallway that leads to my apartment and every step unravels the knot of tension that is weighing me down.

When we arrive at my apartment she stands aside and waits while I fish my key from my pocket and unlock the door. I push it open and let her pass before following her inside and shutting the door. She stopped just inside the door and is watching me with worry in her beautiful eyes. They are asking me to tell her what has me all turned about and I will but not yet. I need her first. I reach out and pull her to me and she nestles against my chest with her head over my thundering heart.

Since that first week I have held her like this several times, stolen moments like this one, and I close my eyes and clench my jaw afraid her embrace will break me this time. That first time she had been warm and soft, fresh from my bed and I wanted her then more than I had ever wanted anyone, before. But holding her like this had been enough I did not want the mindless physical sort of act that is pretty prevalent here in Dauntless but a deeper desire that would meld us together into one being and we could never be separated.

Her hands are pulling at the back of my shirt as if she knows I need that comfort and then they are on my back. I gasp as my control shatters. My hands slide up her shoulders and under her hair. I let my weight fall against the door as my fingers find the smooth column of her throat and I pull her with me as lower my head to hers, my eyes intent on her lips but I settle for pressing my forehead to hers. Sharing her breath seems to be the only way my lungs will fill at the moment. I am trembling from the restraint I exert over my foolish body which takes comfort from her fine boned body lying against it but wants more…Needs more.

I need…need…need to forget that I have a vial of Simulation serum in my pocket, that Max's computer has detailed plans for decimating the Abnegation and that my mother is a vengeful woman blinded to everything but retribution and my father is too stupid to know when the truth walks into his house and stares him in the face. I am down to one last hope, Tris; if she will not help then I am out of options. "Tris," I murmur and I feel childish for the broken way her name sounds when it leaves my lips.

"I'm here," she murmurs and she cups my cheek and traces my lips with her thumb. I need her so I open my lips and dip my head until I can taste the delicate pad of her thumb as my thumb finds her lips slipping inside just enough that she can taste me, too. I stare intently into her eyes as she tremulously opens them; we are both gasping at the intimacy of this one gesture. I feel calm settle over me in gentle waves and I shift so that my lips are pressed to her forehead and again it is enough. She is enough. When I feel steady again I pull my lips from her forehead and let my head thump against the door.

"Tell me," she whispers, "Tell me what has you upset."

"We're so—screwed, Tris." I almost don't recognize my own voice when I speak it is still deep but there is a wounded quality that has been absent from it since I came to Dauntless. I pull the vial from my pocket and it is still cold even after being next to my body since I slipped it out of that crate before dinner. I hand it to Tris and she looks confused but she takes it.

"What is it," she asks.

"A cognitive transmitter," I say roughly, "It works like the Fear Landscape serum but instead of sending your thoughts it receives."

"Where did you get this," she gasps and I can tell that she understands what I am telling her because she is starting to look afraid, too.

"Off of an Erudite truck," I sigh, "They have been here since your first week loading in supplies. Come on," I push away from the door and lead her to my computer desk. It doesn't take long to pull up the files and saved footage from the security feeds and then we are both sitting and staring at the computer screens.

"We have to help them," she licks her lips and her eyes meet mine as her voice rises, "They aren't going to be prepared."

"I've tried," I tell her, "I tried warning Marcus but he wouldn't listen to me. Just kept accusing me of trying to intimidate him; which is crazy, and my mother—," I stop short. I didn't mean to mention Evelyn. It isn't that I was trying to mislead Tris, but it is hard to tell someone that has had a loving family unit that not only were you your father's whipping post but your mother abandoned you to your fate so that she could get away.

"Mother," Tris says, "Marcus is—I thought he was a widower,"

"So did I," I agree taking a deep breath. "She _'died'_ when I was nine. At least I thought she did. We had a funeral and all the Abnegation came and brought us food and told me how sorry they were for my loss." I laugh a little bitterly, "They had to know she just walked away but they all made sad little noises and uttered inane platitudes about grief, like they felt an ounce of the pain I felt because she died and left me alone in that house with him!"

"But she didn't die," Tris prompts stroking my arm with comforting fingers and I shake my head.

"No," I tell her, "She left us—she left me to become factionless." I frown a little and meet her eyes as I continue, "She never once let me know she was still here not until I made it into Dauntless. Not when I left my father's house not once during initiation when I was running through that god forsaken area of the city. When I was Dauntless I guess I was useful to her because she approached me to join her." I want to ask what was wrong with me that my parents couldn't love me but that is too pathetic a question to voice.

I think she sees the question in my eyes because Tris moves from her chair to stand in front of mine. She shifts to stand between my knees and hugs me close as she whispers, "It is their loss, and they missed out, because they weren't good enough for you, Tobias."

"Tris," I shake my head but she stops me with her hands on my face.

"They are both selfish, spoiled people who didn't deserve the chance to have you in their lives." She whispers fiercely, "You are brave," she presses her lips to my forehead, "You are selfless," her mouth slides to my temple and I close my eyes drinking in the soft, loving caress as she murmurs, "Intelligent and honest," as her lips press to my cheek at the corner of my lips. "And you are mostly kind," she whispers smilingly over my lips and I gasp opening my eyes.

I move deftly wrapping one arm around her waist and pressing my palm to her skin under her shirt. The other hand I thrust into her hair and lean those extra few centimeters to press my lips to hers making her gasp and part her lips to mine. It is still a mostly chaste meeting of lips but I forget everything the moment I taste her except that this is Tris and we are sharing our first kiss. Her lips are sweet and warm and moist and I need to feel more of her. I stand from my chair, breaking the kiss, and pull her against the length of me before cupping her cheek and taking her lips again. This time I press the tip of my tongue between them and I groan when she sighs melting against me. Her mouth is sweeter than her lips, hot instead of warm and it is wet when I deepen the kiss.

She shifts against me, her hands and my hands roaming and clutching and when our lips part I move in for more. I feel like a starving man as I bend her over my arm and slide a hand over her hip to pull her tighter against the part of me that only she wakes.

"Too fast," Tris gasps and pulls her lips from mine and I try to catch them with a biting kiss but her thumb comes between us and I open my eyes as it presses to my lips. We are both trembling and we are breathing as if we just finished our morning run and I remember her fourth fear. I press my forehead to hers and slowly release my grip on her hip.

"Sorry," I say trying to control my breathing.

Tris just shakes her head and smiles up at me and the look in her eyes is not frightened it is soft and tender and I think that look is mine alone. She shifts to lay her head on my chest over my heart and we just stand wrapped in each other for a long time. I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head as I think about our next step in preparing for the coming war. I can no longer pretend that it isn't a possibility and it is so—daunting. The thought makes me huff in amusement.

"What," Tris murmurs pressing her face to my chest.

"Just thinking about the war," I say with an amused tone, "How daunting it seems."

"It's good that we are Dauntless then," she sighs squeezing me tight before stepping away. "What do you want to do?" I frown a little and search her features as I tuck her hair behind her ear. What I have in mind is crazy and probably will lead us to our deaths, but really with the magnitude of what Jeanine and Max have planned the likely hood that both Tris and I will survive to see another year is slim-to-none. I cup her cheek and stare intently into her beautiful eyes trying to gather the courage to present my plan to her. "What," she asks, "You can tell me."

"My father is the city leader," I say quietly, "But he refuses to act on my words. My mother and her band of Factionless are just waiting for the factions to implode so they can exploit what is left over to seize control." I look away from her toward the large windows that overlook the wasted city. "I don't feel comfortable joining that side and I cannot stay on this side but—," I look at Tris and I see that she is looking at me the way she always does as if I am special and I am better than I am. I believe in that instant that with her I am better. My decision is made just that quickly. I will be Dauntless. "I am going to go to your parents tonight," I tell her, "I will tell them everything I tried to tell Marcus and I will tell them about my mother, although they probably already know. I have a plan that is crazy and will most-likely get us all killed or factionless, but I can't sit back and watch this…" I gesture to the computer screen still showing the city map with the rough war plans, "happen."

"My parents," she whispers and I can see her mind working along the same path that my own has gone. "My father is Marcus' right hand man," she nods, "When will you go?"

"Now," I say, "I want you to stay here while I am gone. I don't like you staying in that dorm when I am here and I definitely don't want you there when I can't get to you to help you."

"I don't need you to protect me," she informs me frowning, "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," I chuckle at the fierce look in her eyes as I pull her back into my arms and press my lips to her cheek before whispering, "That's why I think I love you, but I am waiting to tell you until I am sure." I pull away and gather up the things I will need to take with me and shove them into my pockets. Tris is still standing where I left her and her eyes are wide. I walk toward the door and call out, "Come lock up."

I step out of my apartment and turn to wait for the lock to click into place behind me before heading down the dark stairwell to the street. I am just in time to jump the train and I hold on to the handle and rest on the step outside the car just watching the dark world pass me by. As I look back and see Dauntless disappearing behind the buildings of the city I feel a sense that I am about to change some great and terrible future. Hopefully, it is for the better.


	17. Allies

Deviation: Allies

Chapter Seventeen- FOUR

I approach the Abnegation sector for the second night in a row and I think it is strange that I feel just as apprehensive about meeting with Tris' parents and I did Marcus last night. The neighborhood is familiar to me almost more so than the Dauntless compound with the plain grey walls, well kempt lawns with identical house fronts. It is easy finding their home. Andrew Prior has been my father's right hand since before I was born and I made it a point to know where people important to my father lived. It was the best way to ensure I was never seen or heard by them so that news of me never made it back to my father.

Just like last night I turn up the walk and pause gathering my courage. These people raised Tris and though she is not always nice she is a good person and from talking with her I know that she loves her family. She was not whipped until the hot lashes of the belt became cold and her mother kept their winter coats in the little closet at the top of the stairs. These people were better than Marcus and even if they knew about my mother I would give them the chance to explain before I made a decision about whether that even mattered to me anymore. I have more important things to worry about.

I see the dim light still burning downstairs and take a deep bracing breath before walking up to the door and knocking lightly. I don't want to draw attention from the other Abnegation it is extremely out-of-character for a Dauntless soldier to visit any faction leader's home especially after it is considered a proper time for a visit. I raise my hand and knock again just a little louder and almost instantly the door is pulled open.

Natalie Prior looks up at me with a placid expression but I see the way that she is holding the heavy scissors. To some it might look as if she is just answering the door while holding scissors but I see the ease with which she could wield them this way to maim and kill. She relaxes a little when she recognizes me and her voice is quiet, but worried when she says, "Four, isn't it?"

I simply nod.

"What are you doing here," she asks, "Is Beatric—

"Tris is fine," I say tersely. She is not Beatrice she is Tris. "I came to speak with you and your husband; can I come in?"

"Of course," she says as she flips the scissors in her hand into a less defensive grip. "Come in. I will go get Andrew."

I step into the living room and it is just as it was so many weeks ago when I came here with Tris except the table is littered with scraps of cloth and other sewing implements. Natalie was probably up making clothing for the factionless. I do not have to wait long for them to come back down stairs and when they step into the room I see that Natalie has brought a bowl of water and a towel from upstairs. "Thank you," I murmur as I dip my hands three times into the cool water and then take the towel from her arm to dry them. I notice that Andrew seems surprised at my knowledge of Abnegation customs but not Natalie in her eyes I see sadness and recognition.

"What is this about," Andrew asks and his eyes are cool as they assess the situation and me.

I ignore his question and instead I focus my intense eyes on Natalie Prior, "You know who I am." It is a statement and not a question but she nods.

"Yes," she sighs, "You are Tobias Eaton."

"Eaton," Andrew exclaims and I can see that he is starting already to form opinions based on whatever lies my father has been spreading about me since I defected from Abnegation.

"Yes," I agree and my voice is thick as I frown down at her. "I came here tonight because my father ignorantly refuses to hear the voice of reason."

"Now see here," Andrew interrupts and I glare at him with all the anger and disappointment I have felt since I was nine years old. I may have been a scrawny Abnegation transfer but I am equal to my father's height and better trained. This thought surprises me and I realize that it is true; in a fight with my father, I would be the victor. I level my best Dauntless instructor stare on the man daring him to continue but Natalie steps between us.

"Andrew," Natalie says placing a restraining hand on his arm. Once he is silently glaring right back at me she prompts, "What won't he listen to you about?"

"War," I state bluntly, "And this," I take the vial from my pocket and I see recognition in Andrews widening gaze.

"Where did you get that," he asks, but his eyes stay focused on the glass encased serum.

"Dauntless," I inform him, "Erudite has been loading in supplies at Dauntless for the last seven weeks, computers, weapons and case loads of these. They could create an army." I see understanding in Andrew's eyes and it doesn't look like this is any news to him and it makes me suspicious.

"Weeks," Andrew asks, "Why did you wait so long?"

I narrow my gaze on the man and snap, "I needed proof and I came as soon as we had something concrete."

"We," Andrew asks.

"Tris and I," I tell him and watch as his face at first looks hopeful but then it contorts into a bitter scowl. Obviously, his children's choices have made him angry. It must be a fatherly trait. "Jeanine has taken a sort of special interest in Tris."

"I'm sure," Natalie says with wry humor that is rare in Abnegation. "Is she safe?"

"I won't let anything happen to her," I promise and I cover my heart unconsciously using an Abnegation gesture. "But with the threat of war that may not be a promise I can keep. We need to get in front of this thing try and cut the head off the snake before it strikes."

"You say there are detailed plans?" Andrew inquires.

"Everything except the timetable as far as I have found," I nod, "I think they will probably act after Tris' class graduates."

"Why," Andrew asks me but it is Natalie that answers, "They would want as many live bodies as possible to keep control."

"Yeah," I agree, "That was my thought as well with the serum Erudite could keep the Dauntless mindless drones for as long as it takes to shape the city to Jeanine and Max's will."

"You said you wanted to get in front of this," Natalie brings me back to the plan I am really not happy to be putting forth but it is the only way I can see to keep my friends from becoming pawns in a war of madmen.

I move away from Tris' parents deeper into the room until I am standing over the table with cloths Natalie is piecing together for the Factionless. This is going to be a hard sell and I know it just from the closed off way that Andrew Prior is standing, with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed.

"Abnegation needs to stop giving supplies to the factionless," I say to begin and when both Priors try to interrupt I hold up a hand and stop them with a stern look and even more stern words, "The Factionless are not the disenfranchised band of helpless misfits the city leaders like to pretend they are. They are organized. They have a military structure that is fortified by all the elder Dauntless that have been displaced due to age or handicap. They are well equipped," I pick up a pile of material and let it fall back to the table to emphasize my point. "And they are mobilized into every part of the city ready and waiting to pick up the pieces when the city is left in total chaos after this little insurgency."

"How do you know all this," Andrew demands.

"My mother is their leader," I say with a smile that I know doesn't reach my eyes, "I guess she learned a thing or two from being my father's wife."

"Evelyn," Natalie sounds shocked. "She isn't a leader. I see her all the time we—we talk."

"Yeah," I nod, "And in all that time that you were talking did her son ever come up in conversation?" She doesn't have to say anything the answer is there on her face. The answer is no. "Didn't think so," I say with a mirthless laugh.

"Tobias," Natalie starts with a tone that I think is supposed to placate me but I am in no mood so I snap, "My name is Four."

"Four, then," she says and her lips are pinched. "You have to understand Evelyn was never a very strong woman and living with your father was difficult; when she decided to leave Abnegation it was a terribly hard decision for h—

"If Andrew was like my father and he beat you and Caleb and Tris would you walk away and leave Tris and Caleb to deal with the abuse alone?" It is an unfair question really because I have my suspicions that Natalie Prior was Dauntless. A Dauntless woman wouldn't take that kind of abuse and she wouldn't let it happen to her children. She would end it one way or another with her own fists, a bullet or with the edge of a blade. But we are getting off track and I only have so much time here before the trains stop running. "It doesn't really matter," I say lifting my hand to stop her from answering and I am shocked to see tears in her eyes but I harden my resolve and continue, "The supplies you usually distribute to the Factionless needs to stop but they will still be sectioned off from the rations along with an additional ten percent from Erudite and Dauntless."

"You want us to cut the Factions' rations," Natalie seems shocked.

"Only ten percent," I say and try to explain, "The decrease isn't going to be felt right away but we are going to need those supplies for the Dauntless that join us."

"What are you suggesting," Andrew demands.

"I am going to work over the next week to see if I can instigate any loyal Dauntless to join with Tris and me in breaking away from Max."

"What you are suggesting is treason," Andrew whispers and I can see his worry. It is not me he is concerned about, but his daughter. I know this plan is flawed and the opportunities to fail are numerous, but it is all I have.

"Max is going against everything Dauntless stands for by involving our members in this witch hunt against Abnegation." I tell him earnestly, "This has been brewing for years and he has been garnering a lot of animosity within Dauntless these last few years. I think we could cut Erudite's forces significantly if we can pull a large enough contingent of Dauntless to our side of things."

Andrew Prior is Abnegation but I see in his eyes that his Erudite wired brain is playing this thing out from all sides. He looks to his wife and I see him wilt slightly as he sees her steady stance and confident, Dauntlessesque expression. Tris' father turns back to me and he has a thoughtful expression on his face as he murmurs, "You said Jeanine is taking an interest in Beatrice."

"They have been watching her because of the abnormal Aptitude test," Natalie says before I can answer and I get the sense that Andrew is not aware of his daughter's divergence. My thoughts are confirmed when I see the guarded way she looks at her husband and then back to me as she adds, "She was sick because of the serum and you had to enter her results manually." It frightens me that Tris' father might turn against her because of her divergence. This witch hunt for Divergents is going too far!

"I know," I say, "I gave her too much her clothes made her appear heavier than she actually is and the serum made her ill."

"And her result," Andrew asks as he looks at me speculatively.

"What was your result," I ask turning the question around on him instead of answering. He doesn't answer but he pales and I wonder exactly why he is in Abnegation. "We have seven days to get everything in order for the fracture cell of Dauntless because ultimately I think we only have three weeks before Erudite makes its move."

"Besides accumulating supplies what do you want us to do," Natalie asks and it is strange that she is so readily following my lead.

"Andrew needs to try and get my father to see reason and I think we need to see if we can get Amity and Candor involved, too," I say looking at the man who is still looking thoughtfully at me. "You need to talk to my mother," I sigh turning to Natalie, "Involving the Factionless is a calculated risk but if we can get them to work with us it would add untold numbers to our ranks. The only problem is that I really think their only goal is to destroy the faction system."

"You don't think this will destroy the factions," Andrew asks frowning.

"I think that is going to happen whether or not we try and preempt their strike or we sit back and let it happen." I tell him seriously, "Tris and I are Dauntless we protect every life behind the fence without fail."

"Beatrice hasn't completed her training," her father reminds me and I just smile.

"Tris is Dauntless," I say as I nod to them and head for the door, "I have to get back. If you can get my parents, Johanna and Kang to agree to meet with us we will set up a meet next week at the Hancock building at midnight." I look over my shoulder at Natalie and add, "You know where."

I don't wait to be shown the door I just leave closing it behind me and head for the edge of Abnegation and the train tracks that will get me home to Tris. My steps falter when I realize that Dauntless was really never home until Tris dropped through that hole and into my life. Suddenly, all I want is to be back there in my apartment with Tris but I have made it to the tracks and realize that I have ten minutes to kill before the next train; that is plenty of time for the chat that Natalie Prior wants to have. Being Dauntless I am hyper vigilant and so I am aware before the scuffing of an Abnegation boot that Tris' mother followed me here. I heard her leave her house before I even turned the corner.

"Tob—Four," she calls out when I don't bother to turn toward her.

"Yes," I say heavily because this can only be about my mother.

"I—um—I wanted to say that I am sorry for deceiving you all these years. Telling you that your mother was dead was my idea," I see where Tris gets her directness from, "At the time I thought it would be the least painful for you—if you thought she had no choice about leaving you. You're right I would never have left my children with that man."

"You knew," I ask, "about what he did to me?"

"Yes," she sighs, "I am so sorry." Somehow that is just as painful to hear as it was finding out my mother just walked away.

"Marcus is very powerful," she reminds me and I have to laugh at that.

"Is that an excuse," I ask using Tris' words from the night Al, Peter and Drew tried to kill her.

"No," she murmurs and I think I hear tears in her voice but they don't erase the pain I endured because she wouldn't stand up to my father. "There is so much more going on here than you are aware of, Four. That isn't an excuse either but when you finally understand you will know that I did the best I could with what I had."

"What," I ask turning toward her finally, "How much more insane could all this get?"

"This," she waves her hand as if encompassing the city and the coming war as she speaks, "This is like a grain of sand compared to a bucket full." I wait for her to continue but that seems to be as much as she is willing to say.

"Be ready to enlighten me at the meeting," I growl, "I don't like being lied to and I am pretty sure that Tris feels the same."

"For what it is worth," Natalie says quietly, "I regret not getting you away from him."

"Don't worry about it," I tell her as the train's whistle blows a short distance away, "I survived. Will you be alright on your own?"

"I'll be fine," she assures me and then she clasps her hand on my forearm. "You're a good man, Tobias Eaton," and then she is sprinting away from me and I am jumping on the train and heading back to Tris.

The train ride feels heavy and ominous. Instead of hanging from the handle outside the car I am sitting with my back pressed to one side of the door and my feet to the other. I have set in motion a plan that could get the only person I care about killed. If what her mother says is true then even if we survive this grain of sand there is a whole bucket waiting to bury us. I let myself into my apartment and am surprised at how quite it is. I close and lock the door before going in search of Tris. I know she is still here because she wouldn't break her promise to stay here while I am away.

I find her in my bed with her hair fanned out beside her and her hands are twisted in my blanket and tucked to her chest. She is asleep and I cannot stop myself from kneeling beside the bed and just staring at her sleep softened face. She is beautiful and the sight of her here in my bed is so right; this is where she belongs. I need her presence so much that I think I cannot be Dauntless anymore without her. Fleetingly, I wonder if she can be trusted with this deepest, darkest part of me but then she wakes and cups my cheek.

"Tobias," she murmurs sleepily and presses her thumb to my lips. I do the same and she kisses the pad of my thumb and it hits me—all the emotions and hurt from the past three days. Tears spring to my eyes and a single tear slips out before they are gone again dried up by the force of my own will. Tris pulls me to her and her lips sip my tear from my cheek. I wrap my arms around her and press my face to her shoulder.

"Tris," I murmur into her shirt.

"Yeah," she whispers and strokes her fingers over my neck tracing down the flame to circle my Dauntless symbol.

"I'm sure," I tell her and tighten my hold on her.

"Me, too," she sighs and leans down to kiss my temple.

"Tell me," I plead as her words make my heart jump and then I am lifting my head to press my forehead to hers.

"I—I love you, Tobias Eaton." It is not the first time I have heard that name tonight but it is the first time that hearing it made me so precisely happy. I stoke her hair away from her face and look deep into her eyes as I tell her, "I love you, too, Beatrice Prior."

She smiles that happy smile and I find I want to kiss her lips to see what happy tastes like, but I just kiss her forehead and pull away. "Go back to sleep," I tell her as I pluck the other pillow off of the bed and drop it beside me. "I have my spot on the floor." She giggles at that and then I am settling on the floor directly beside the bed. I am on my side facing her and I feel my body growing heavy when her tiny hand drops off the side of the bed and grasps mine. I twine our fingers and then bring them to my lips brushing a kiss to her knuckles before dropping off into one of the best night's sleep I have ever experienced.


	18. Allegent

Deviation: Allegiant

Chapter Eighteen- TRIS

A soft shuffling sound breaks me out of my near sleeping state and I am on high alert immediately. I force myself to remain perfectly still. I am in the dorm and after what Al did I don't feel safe enough here to let my guard down. I open my eyes to thin slits and breathe a sigh of relief when I see Will slipping into Christina's bed. I watch as Will settles behind her and Christina turns her head so that he can kiss her. I am pretty sure that they have progressed far beyond kissing but thankfully they are respectful enough of each other, and us, to not engage in anything more in the full dorm. I can't say the same for Edward and Myra but luckily they are on the other side of the room. Trying to act as if I am shifting naturally in my sleep I turn toward the wall and give my two friends a little more privacy.

Closing my eyes I try to recall every detail of waking in Four's apartment last week. It had been early, hours before sun up, when his watch started to beep. My fingers were still clasped together with Four's and he hadn't moved even a muscle to turn away from me in sleep. He sighed heavily and raised his other hand so that he could turn the alarm off without releasing my hand.

"Hey," He murmured in his deep, sleep roughened voice. There was something about Four's voice that never failed to make me breathless and that morning had been no exception. Add to that the way he let his thumb stroke the back of my hand and I was almost deliriously happy.

"Morning," I whispered, "is it really time, to get up?"

"You can sleep a little longer," Four told me before kissing the back of my hand. I could see, even in the half light, the tension slowly creeping into his face and his hand had tensed around mine as he murmured with a small frown, "Technically you aren't required to continue physical training during the second stage of training."

I considered his words for a few moments while we lay still cloaked in darkness. The last weeks of physical training before the second stage Four pushed me harder than any of the other initiates, well except for Al, Peter and Drew who I believed Four was trying to break. I had asked him why he was harder on me than the others after a particularly intense run through the city when he yelled at me for lagging behind. His answer had surprised me, 'You think my first instinct is to push because I think you're weak, I don't. My first instinct is to push until you break just to see how hard I have to press.'

"No," I shook my head and used his hand to pull myself into a sitting position, "I need to be ready, too."

Four sat up, too, and had pulled inviting me onto the floor beside him. I went nervously and he gathered me into his arms and pressed his lips to my temple. It was then that he told me his plan and about the meeting with my parents. It had been exhilarating and exciting and comforting to hold each other while we spoke about the pros and cons of Fours plan. He was all warm skin and cotton over lean muscle against me and I never wanted to move.

I hear a giggle from Christina and a low chuckle from Will and I wonder if Four and I will ever be able to just be happy and in love without the stress and worry that has been weighing us both down these last few days. Would it be the same between us without the threat of war, intense and stomach swooping, or would it be some candy coated shallow sort of love that never tested the bounds of our feelings for each other? I think that could never be the sort of love Tobias and I share. We are two passionate people from Abnegation that transferred to Dauntless and thrived above the others here. Placid, insipid love is not for people like us. Four is right our Abnegation wired brains rule our actions but the Dauntless part of us that is buried deep in our bones demands to be felt. We were never meant for peace but I know we were meant for one another.

The dorm is quiet and it is probably, almost time for me to go meet Four so we can head to tonight's meeting. Earlier, Four was out of sorts and I know it is because tonight he will face his deepest fear and it will be difficult but he will be the bigger man. I admire that about him. Marcus Eaton is weak but Tobias Eaton is strong enough to face his fears and overcome them. I decide it is time to go meet Four even if we have a couple hours until it is time to meet the others.

I sit up and quietly pull my socks and boots on before I glance over to Christina and Will and I can see their eyes shining in the darkness. Will nods solemnly to me as I stand and Christina holds out her hand for me to take. She squeezes hard and Will murmurs, "Good luck, Tris," so quietly that I know only I heard him speak. Including Will and Christina along with a few of the other new initiates was my idea, but only the ones I felt could be trusted. I nod and drop Christina's hand as I head for the stairs.

Al still shares our dorm and I think the Dauntless flames would freeze over before I trusted him again. Four made sure that Zeke and Lauren spread the word about how Al, Peter and Drew tried to kill a fellow initiate and since then those three have found out exactly what a lack of honor will get you in a faction that demands bravery and honor. The night after I told Will and Christina about the chasm incident was the night Will started sleeping beside Christina.

Four hadn't wanted to trust Will because he was a Erudite transfer. In fact the first time we ever fought was over letting Will into our group. In the end I was able to make him see reason. We needed Dauntless from every strata to ensure that our bid for control was successful. Tori was our biggest asset because she was in a position to know pretty intimate details about almost everyone in Dauntless with even a scrap of ink on their bodies. I guess people feel pretty open with the person that inks their skin almost more so than the doctors and nurses in the infirmary that patch them up when they have been too Dauntless for their own good.

The halls are still rather busy but things are winding down and I don't have any trouble getting to Four's apartment. I knock softly and I hear a chair scraping against the concrete floor a moment before the door is opened. The Four that greets me is scruffy with red-rimmed eyes and he looks bone weary. I realize that he has probably not slept well in days and I feel slightly guilty that I didn't notice his condition earlier. He pushes the door open wider and I step inside so he can shut the door.

"Hey," he murmurs and pulls me to him pressing his forehead to mine. He looks instantly more relaxed as he breathes me in and I smile as I let my fingers stroke his stubble roughened cheek.

"Hello," I whisper, "How much time do we have before we have to leave?"

"It is just after nine," he sighs and I see the frown reappearing between his eyes. He needs rest and it looks as if he won't take care of his most basic needs without prompting.

"Good," I say as I step away from him and lead him to the bed across the room. "You have time to get a nap before we leave."

"Tris," he scowls and I know he will have a laundry list of things that need doing that only he can accomplish but I stop him by pressing my lips to his.

At first he doesn't respond because of all the times we have kissed since that first he has always been the one to initiate the act. I smile and press my lips to his again and this time I let my tongue sneak past his lips making him gasp and pull me to him with arms like steel bands. And then it is him kissing me and I can barely breathe, that is what he does to me. He steals my breath and sets my body on fire like we are Dauntless flames igniting one another. I cling to him for a few moments more and then I break the kiss and press my forehead to his lips and the way his breaths gust against my hair tells me he was as deeply affected as I was.

I swallow and run my hands up his back as I say in my best commanding voice, "You need to rest."

"You are getting bossy," he says and I am glad to hear the smile in his voice.

"Look who is talking," I snort, "Get in the bed, Tobias."

"I don't have time," he hedges but I will have none of that. I lift his arm and quickly set the alarm on his watch for one hour. Pointing to the bed with my most Dauntless instructor expression I receive a chuckle from him and he lays down with his hands raise defensively. "Okay, okay," he says laughing but it ends with a tired groan as he settles onto his side. I wish he could sleep longer but he will need to shave and shower before the meeting and I know he will want to arrive early to the Hancock building. "Lay down with me," he says as his hand cups my hip and his thumb brushes rhythmically along my hip bone making me shiver.

His eyes are intent on mine and I lick my lips contemplating this next step in our relationship. We have kissed on a few occasions this last week and twice I have slept in his bed but never have we lain together on the large mattress. Taking a deep breathe I walk to the other side of the bed and sit down to remove my boots.

"No," I say when he starts to turn toward me and he freezes just looking at me for a long moment before settling back on his side facing away from me. I pull the fuzzy blanket up over him and then lift the corner and slide into the bed behind him the way Will had with Christina earlier. I push my right arm under Four's head and press myself close against his back before settling down and draping my other arm over his waist. He is rock hard with tension at first and I don't think either of us breathes for a minute or two. Neither of us is used to this level of intimacy and I know that he is acutely aware that this is one of my deepest fears.

That first day of fear simulations had been awkward and embarrassing for me but when Four saw my fear he had reacted badly. He saw only that in my fear landscape he was forcing himself on me and his reaction had been acute. When I left the sim he had a haunted look in his eyes and he had been very careful not to come too close to me. It had taken a day and a half for me to work out why he was acting so strangely and then another half a day to corner him and make him listen to reason. I didn't really think that he would force me to go farther than I wanted. It was a fear like his fear of heights, there was no rational reason for him to fear heights and the same could be said of my fear of being intimate with him. He took a good bit of convincing that I didn't believe him actually capable of what my fear landscape showed; it was just that he was a very passionate person and sometimes that intensity frightened me.

I consciously take a deep breath and then lay my head down so that I am cheek to cheek with him. I shift my hand up his tight abs and press my palm to his pounding heart and take another deep breath coaxing him to relax. Which he finally does, slowly, letting every muscle in his body uncoil and after a few precious minutes he is sleeping soundly. I follow soon after.

I awake to the beeping of Four's alarm and sigh as I turn my lips into his neck and press a kiss to the spot that covers his artery. Four stretches his body and I join him letting my muscles uncoil from sleep with his. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back tenderly before he slides to the edge of the bed and sits up.

"You can sleep a bit longer," he murmurs as he turns and strokes my hair out of my face. "I'll wake you after I shower and shave."

"Okay," I nod and catch his hand before he pulls away. I kiss his palm and then cup his hand to my cheek while I study him. He still looks exhausted but it is not as pronounced as it was on his features. He mimics my action kissing my palm and pressing it to his cheek and I smile. I like the feel of his stubble rough cheek against my sensitive fingers. It is past being bristly and is kind of soft in a rough sort of way that intrigues me.

He stands with a heavy sigh and moves toward to bathroom, pulling his t-shirt off as he goes and using it to scrub under his arms before tossing it into the laundry basket beside the bed. It is an oddly masculine action and I almost giggle as I watch Four in the midst of an obvious ritual. I wonder if he always did that and that makes me wonder if my own brother did something similar when he disrobed before bathing. Which, brought to mind that as Four shut the bathroom door he would be disrobing and with that I wondered if he was as beautiful everywhere as his chest and back were.

Needless to say I didn't actually sleep after the water started in the other room. Instead, I got up and got ready myself before going to the computer and watching the feeds of quiet, empty Dauntless halls until Four came out of the bathroom wearing a white towel tight around his waist. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me and then he blushes bright red.

"I-I thought you would be sleeping," he stammers as he moves quickly to the middle locker and retrieves another set of clothes. "I forgot to get clothes," he explains, "I don't usually have anyone here." Which I take to mean that he must walk around his apartment in a towel often and the idea of him lounging in front of the computer in only a towel makes me blush just as red as him.

"Its fine," I murmur and I have to pry my eyes off the way the towel shapes to his bottom, down to his lightly furred calves and bare feet. I have to sigh because even his feet are attractive. When he enters the bathroom and shuts the door I decide that he actually is beautiful all over and not just his wide shoulders, chest and tattooed back. After he is dressed we walk together to the tracks and he stands behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist as we wait for the train.

The train ride is fraught with excitement as we make our way to a meeting that is likely to land Four and I in Factionlessness, or worse, if we don't tread carefully. We arrive at the Hancock building a good half hour before the others are to arrive and I can feel the tension in Four as we step into the elevator. It is uncomfortably like his second fear and he has to breathe deeply as the box ascends to the one hundredth floor.

Once the doors open he takes a deep breath and steps out into the hallway. Instead of heading to the place where the hole in the ceiling leads up to the zip line he turns left down the hallway and opens a door. Inside he flips a light switch and a dim light fills the room and spills out into the hallway. Inside, I see a large table scarred and broken has been cleaned up. Chairs of different types are circling it and the windows appear to have paper covering them so that the light will not be visible from even a distance. I wonder when he had time to come here and set this room up for the meeting.

Four checks the room and then he takes my elbow and leads me to the ladder that leads to the zip line. He climbs up first and checks that there is no one lurking up here that shouldn't be and then we sit silently at the edge of the hole and wait. The first to arrive is my father and I assume that it is Johanna and Kang that arrive with him. Their voices carry down the hall as they move toward the lighted room and I feel my heart squeeze at the sound of my father's voice.

"We're early," he says and there is a scraping sound as someone sits down at the table.

"This is highly irregular," Kang says, "Why are we not meeting in the Council Hall."

"There are things I can't explain," My father sighs, "You will understand as soon as the others arrive."

"You mentioned that there is unrest," Johanna prompts.

"It seems that Erudite is stepping up the attacks against Abnegation. We have a credible source that believes the media campaign will be replaced by physical attacks on the Abnegation in the near future."

"Ludicrous," Kang scoffed but Johanna could be heard sighing heavily.

"Amity will not take part in such proceedings," and the scrape of a chair is heard again but my father speaks again stopping the person from leaving.

"We aren't asking Amity to do anything," he assures her, "My Dauntless contact requested that I ask you both here tonight."

"To what end," Kang asks suspiciously.

"I believe that he is afraid that Dauntless and Abnegation will not be the only faction Erudite affects adversely in their quest to usurp the government."

"Who is this Dauntless contact," Johanna asks and I think she must sit back down because of the scraping of the chair legs on the floor.

"You will meet them soon," my father assures her and in the hallway the elevator dings again and this time it is my mother's voice that brings strong emotion to my chest. Four told me about my mother and her part in the lies he was told and for some reason I can't fathom it makes me sad that she left him with that horrible man. The people with her are busy arguing and I think I hear scuffling before my mother's voice rings out in the dark all.

"Will you two stop," she snaps, "this is serious and I refuse to let your petty-," There is a hissed reply to my mother and Four stiffens, it must be his mother because I don't recognize the voice. "Yes, Evelyn, you heard me! Petty! You are worse than children. If you can't be adults just be quiet and for the love of all," she says loudly, "Sit on separate sides of the table and leave each other alone. I mean it Marcus or so help me I will do what I should have done twelve years ago!"

"What is this all about," Marcus bellows when they enter the room and find the other faction leaders and my father.

"I already told you," my father explains.

"All this because that boy thinks he can intimidate me," Marcus' voice rises and I feel how Four stiffens and his breathing increases.

I pull him to me and press my face into his neck and begin whispering encouragements into his skin. It takes a moment but he finally gets control over his rising panic. He kisses my forehead and then he climbs down the ladder. I follow close behind him and when he enters that room he is Four, Dauntless Leader, and Tobias is just an aberration. We barely breach the doorway when Marcus thrusts himself to his feet intent on intimidating his son, but he miscalculated because his son is Dauntless trained now and he doesn't have to obey Marcus out of fear any longer.

Marcus moves to grab his arm and Four blocks him twisting the older man's arm behind his back and spinning him to slam him face first into the table. It happened so fast that no one had time to react. Four is breathing heavily as he rasps out, "I let you get away with touching me last time we met, Marcus, but I am not the helpless boy you used to beat. Keep your hands to yourself from here on out," Four wrenches his father's arm up painfully and I know he is close to dislocating it. I can tell that this show of physicality is making the others uncomfortable so I move to Four's side and place a hand on his shoulder.

I feel the minute trembling of his muscles as he fights an inner battle against doing further harm to his father. I let my fingers trail up to his tattoo and let my thumb trace the dark ink of his Dauntless symbol. I watch as he inhales deeply and then releases his hold on his father stepping back until we are side-by-side.

"Tobias," the woman that must be his mother says as she stands from the table and moves toward him, but he stiffens and I move in front of him.

"Don't," I tell the woman. Evelyn gives me a narrow-eyed look and then looks to Tobias who places a hand on my shoulder showing that he is in agreement with me.

"Take your seats we have a lot to discuss and very little time to do it in." His voice is commanding and I notice that even my father who was standing against the wall moves to comply. I look at my parents and I feel the desire to be held by my mother and father but Four steers me toward the far end of the table and pulls out the chair on the right seating me before he does the same for himself. It isn't hard to see that we are both positioned so that the door is facing us and our chairs are farther from the table so we can move quickly if we need to act. Reunions will have to wait.

"Johanna," Four greets the Amity delegate with a bow of his head, "I am sorry for the unpleasantness," he murmurs apologetically and gestures to his parents. Then he turns to the Candor member of our group, "Mr. Kang, thank you for joining us here tonight it is an honor to finally meet you."

For a moment I am surprised at the way he is speaking, so formally and diplomatically, but then I realize that Marcus probably drilled, literally, diplomacy into his young head in hopes that his son might one day lead the city. Not because he was proud of his son, but because his pride would not allow any other outcome. It must have really made the man angry the day his son stood in front of him, looked him in the eye and chose Dauntless. I see surprise in my parent's eyes too but I hope I keep mine hidden.

"What is this about," Kang asks with a frown.

Four doesn't answer verbally. Instead, he pulls the vial of sim-serum from his pocket and places it in the center of the table. All eyes go to the vial and it is clear that they all know what the small glass tube contains. Once all eyes are on Four again he pulls a packet of papers from the inside of his jacket. He unfolds them and then places them beside the vial.

"We recognize that this is a serum," My father is the first to speak and I am not surprised that Caleb is Erudite anymore. "What neither of you may know is that each faction has a specific serum that is used to ensure that its members conform to the parameters of their faction mandates."

"Even Abnegation," I demand.

"Yes," my mother says and she looks sad when she continues. "Abnegation's serum is a memory serum it basically wipes the memories that make a person who they are. Muscle memory and speech is unaffected so things like walking, talking and tying shoes for example are not affected."

I am horrified and the tension in Four tells me that this news is just as upsetting to him. He turns to Kang and raises an eyebrow, "And the Candor serum?"

"Is a truth serum," he states simply as if having a liquid that forces a person to reveal their inner most secrets is of little consequence.

"Johanna," Four prompts.

"We call it Peace Serum," she answers, "It essentially suppresses the brain's release of chemicals that cause aggression."

Four is just staring wide eyed for long seconds after the last explanation and then he is laughing bitterly as he turns to my mother and asks, "how big is this bucket?" The others are lost but I remember what he told me my mother said to him before he left to return to Dauntless.

Her words when she speaks are cryptic, "bigger than this city." This answer makes me shiver and then she says, "Those questions can wait until we have dealt with this first." She places a hand on the papers we brought. Four exhales and I think he is going to argue but then he just nods and begins to explain what he learned from spying on Eric, Jeanine and Max.

Johanna is staring in stunned silence when he finishes and Kang is shaking his head as if he doesn't believe what he is hearing or won't except it as fact. The man scowls after a moment and then thrusts himself to his feet and saying with a firm voice, "this has nothing to do with Candor."

"Until it does," Four states just as firmly, "How long do you think Candor will remain unmolested once Erudite enslaves Dauntless and destroys Abnegation?"

"What would be the point," Kang demands, "If Candor does not stand against Erudite what purpose would they have to move against my faction?"

I can only stare open mouthed at the man in charge of the Candor faction. He really is short sighted and that is a dangerous thing for a leader to be. If he continues along this path he will find himself and his faction just as enslaved as Dauntless.

"I assume everyone at this table has heard about Divergents," I say sarcastically, "I have a Erudite source that told me that the only thing Erudite is talking about these days is Divergents."

"Where is this source," Kang demands, but even I can tell that talk of Divergents has weakened his resolve to stay out of this fight.

"It is called double blind," Four says, "They only people that will know who our Erudite sources are will be Tris and me that way if one of them is caught or if someone here at this table decides to sell out our group those working on the inside will remain safe."

"And you trust this," Evelyn sneers, "girl more than you trust your mother?"

"Tris is the only one at this table I do trust," Four informs her boldly, "You may have given birth to me but you stopped being someone to trust the day you walked away from me and left me with him," he hitched his thumb at his father. Evelyn's eyes became damp with tears at the unemotional way that Four stated these things and I could tell that she was truly heart broken by the words.

I reach out and cover Four's knee with my hand and he turns to me and we share a look for a moment. I am imploring him to open a door with his mother even if just to get her cooperation with the Factionless. He frowns at me and I know he has done, so very much that took courage tonight and I am asking him to do this and it will open him to further pain and heartache if his mother betrays us, but he sighs and then nods.

"I am willing," he concedes as he turns back to his mother, "to give our relationship a chance but it is going to take time and I expect you to cooperate with the plans Tris and I have set in motion and that means full disclosure of what your group has planned."

"Is that all," she mutters, "I have to buy my way into your life?"

"You don't have to do anything, Evelyn," he tells her coolly, "You are free to continue as you see fit but if you make a move against anyone, even Erudite, you will find yourself and your group on the business end of Dauntless' rifles and it won't matter whose son I am."

"You would go to war against your own mother," she screeched.

Four stood up and slammed his palms into the table as he spoke so softly it was menacing, "I will go to war with anyone that threatens the peace of this city. You forget that I am Dauntless! I stand for every life in this city but if you threaten that peace I will stop you." His voice was strong and he looked at every person at the table in turn, "I want to stop all out bloodshed and I want to preserve the peace. You can either get on board with that agenda or deal with the fallout when it is all over...If you survive it."

Johanna was the first to speak and I know it is the Amity in her that is trying to sooth hurt pride but knowing that they drug their members to make them more amenable has taken some of the shine off the other woman's charms. "Amity is a peaceful faction we will not fight but we will discuss allowing any displaced faction members to find refuge in Amity if the worst should come to pass. As long as the refugees adhere to our codes of conduct they will be allowed to stay."

So, basically, Amity is willing to allow people to seek refuge on their farms so long as they let Amity drug them silly. I am not sure that is a good thing. A snort across the table draws my attention and I look over to see my mother rolling her eyes. My father covers her hand on the table with a reproving sigh that reminds me of Caleb and the way he used to reprimand me. Thinking back I recall many times that my father made similar gestures. How had I missed it all those years?

Kang scrapping his chair back to stand draws my attention and I turn to see him eyeing Four as he says, "Candor will stand for peace."

I am not sure that he has actually agreed to help us and Four agrees because he pushes, "I will accept that sort of answer from Amity, their main tenet is peace and kindness, but Candor is not exactly blameless in propagating the lies about the Abnegation."

"While in Abnegation I watched as Candor student's bullied Abnegation students," I say speaking up for the first time about the persecution of my fellow Abnegation classmates. "It wasn't only Erudite that knocked me to the ground and uttered slurs on my parents. Candor's who should have been known for truth and order wielded lies against a faction that would not defend themselves. Is that what Candor has come to, a faction of liars masquerading as truth-sayers?"

"Beatrice," my father reprimands and my eyes fly to his.

"Abnegation needs to pull together and speak up for themselves," I say just as passionately to my father as I did to Kang, "Letting others bully your children and allowing lies to go without refute isn't selfless it is hurtful not only to your faction but also to the factions allowed to get away with it." I let my eyes fall on Marcus and I know the disgust I feel is written on my face as I continue, "And when the truth is used to harm a faction because the wrong-doer isn't man enough to step down then the faction should police its own. How can Abnegation be trusted to rule if they allow a monster to govern them while they let other factions use strong arm tactics against them without defending themselves? That isn't selfless it is just weak! If things keep going this way then Dauntless will become mindless murders and Abnegation won't stand a chance against them!"

I feel Four's arm come around my back and I realize that during my speech I stood and leaned over the table like Four.

"She's right," Four tells them but his eyes are on Kang as he speaks, "Jeanine isn't going to stop with Abnegation and you know it or you wouldn't still be sitting here listening to us. Make a choice but think long and hard about who will be able to protect your people if Jeanine gets her way."

"Why are you trying to protect the faction system," Evelyn asks and I can see bitterness in her eyes as she stares at the grey clad members of our contingent. It isn't hard to see that she has not softened to our cause and I look up into Tobias' face and see sadness there. So, I lean my head into his shoulder and wrap my arm around his waist and I am comforted when he straightens and pulls me in closer.

"We are trying to preserve order and peace," Four tells his mother, "We are trying to stop this thing before lives are lost."

"That is inevitable," my mother informs us and I feel as if I have been punched in the gut. I know she is right, Four and I have talked about this many times over the last week, but somehow hearing my mother confirm the hopelessness of our task just makes me want to cry. "Lives will be lost but I, for one, agree Abnegation needs to stand up for themselves to be effective leaders of this community."

"I see the truth in what you have said," Kang nods toward Four and me, "I also agree that Abnegation must make many changes in order to remain in a position of power." He looks to my mother and father and then to Marcus, "It has been a point of contention in my faction of late the reports of abuse that have found their way into the news feeds. I feel it would be best for Abnegation if they were to answer these allegations and appoint another leader in your stead, Marcus."

"Preposterous," Marcus thunders and stands to his feet.

Four sets me behind him and moves to place himself between Marcus and Kang with his hand firmly planted on his father's chest, "Take your seat," he tells him in a low voice that has made many an initiate afraid.

"I would be willing to join with you," Evelyn speaks up pulling attention away from the power struggle between the two Eatons, "If Marcus steps down from his position of power."

"This is ridiculous," Marcus rages but he makes no move to try and intimidate the others again and I realize in that moment that Marcus Eaton is afraid of his son. I can see the speculative look in Four's eyes and I see his body relax a little as he too realizes that his father isn't the unstoppable boogeyman that he has made him out to be in his mind. When he turns back to me I see such wonder in his eyes that I am surprised he is not glowing with happiness.

"Actually," my father says bringing all eyes to him, "We have had meetings this last week within Abnegation to that effect. The vote to appoint a new City Leader will happen tomorrow."

"What," Marcus asks and the stricken look in his eyes almost makes me sorry to witness this but then I think about all the things this man has done to hurt the man I love and I feel a deep satisfaction instead at being here to witness his dethroning.

"We feel," my mother answers, "that your private actions against your wife and son are a mark against you and I regret that when you forced Evelyn to leave I did not inform the Council, but she begged me to remain silent." She turns to Evelyn and tells her with tears in her eyes, "I didn't even tell my husband, Evelyn, you swore me to secrecy and I know I should have broken that promise but I didn't. I wanted you to know that you could trust me."

The talks my father spoke about were a result of Four's visit to my parents and I wonder what sort of life Tobias might have had if my mother had spoken up sooner. Would Marcus have been forced out? Would Evelyn have been allowed to stay with her son? Would he have chosen Abnegation and would I have met him there in a place that was safer? Or, would we still find ourselves here but with no way to protect ourselves, like my parents?

"But they told, Tobias, that I was dead." Evelyn cries pitifully and tears are running down her face.

"I told them you died in childbirth," my mother confirms, "You wouldn't let me go to the council and I tried to get you to take him with you. I told you that I would make sure you were both provided for but you were adamant against it. I knew he would be heartbroken if he thought you just walked away. I was trying to spare his feelings and give him something that he could hold onto."

"Hold on to," Evelyn asked incredulously.

"The dead are glorified," mother murmured looking from Evelyn to Four, "The dead can't disappoint us or make mistakes. We only remember the good things about them. I wanted Tobias to remember you as a bright spot in his life." Four just nodded accepting the two-edged gift my mother had given him. "I'm sorry, Tob-Four."

"I understand," he nods again and turns to his mother, "did you stay away because you knew what they told me?" I can see the conflict in Evelyn's eyes before she sighs and shacks her head. "Then why are you blaming an entire faction for my shock at finding you alive and well."

"I wanted my son back," she tells him feebly. "I needed help with the Factionless."

"So, you needed me because I was Dauntless and that was why you came back?"

"No," she denies, "It isn't like that. I would have come to you even if you had remained in Abnegation." But it is a paper thin proclamation and I know he hears it. I am glad he is holding me when this conversation happens. I will be there where others have faltered. I will love him and never leave him by choice.

Four is silent for a long time and when he finally speaks it is in a low tone that is full of emotion, "If that is so I am offering to help you and your group but there will be no guerilla tactics against the Faction System or sedition that is what is on offer at this moment." The implied 'take it or leave it' is loud in the room for words that were never spoken.

"I would give up leading the Factionless if it would give me a chance with you," Evelyn's proclamation was tearful and she stood up moving a step closer to Four as if seeking some physical demonstration. I can see conflict in his eyes as he studies his mother's thin face but he nods and steps in giving her a brief hug, "Thank you," she murmurs as she clasps her arms about his waist holding tight even though he had already released her. Four finally manages to set her aside and I think only Evelyn and I are close enough to hear him say, "It will be alright, Evelyn, but if you cross me I won't be able to forgive you."

It took another hour to finalize the agreement with the Amity, Candor, and Factionless. We come to a tentative agreement with my parents and agree to meet the new Abnegation leader in a few days. Four's plans are detailed and set up in stages. We are in the middle of stage one right now and I think everyone in the room hopes we don't have to progress to Stage Two; that is when the bloodshed begins and it will be followed by all-out war and probably the destruction of our Faction System, our way of life.

If stage two becomes necessary Evelyn has agreed that Four should meet with the Factionless and assume command. It is something he will do between watching the security feeds and helping Zeke with our training. It will put a strain on his already overloaded schedule and I realize that I will have to find ways to take the burdens from him and give him time to decompress. If we are lucky we will be able to continue on from within the Dauntless compound but if we aren't we will be Factionless with no home or Faction. It is just the minutiae of preempting an uprising.

Marcus is the first to leave and he is followed by Johanna and Kang. Losing his status among the leaders took a toll on him and the look in Marcus' eyes when he looks back at Four is frightening. His face is set in shadow and his visage is that of Four's fear landscape but Four has faced that man and he is no longer afraid. Four watches him leave with a steady gaze and his body is relaxed he has conquered that fear. Briefly I wonder if I will have to start calling him Three and then my mother approaches and envelopes me in a huge bear hug. I smile and wrap my arms around her; it feels good to be embraced by her strong arms again and I close my eyes soaking it in.

"How is your training going, sweetie?" She murmurs as she pulls away and fingers my long hair.

"Well," I say, "I am ranked fourth at the moment."

"That is pretty impressive," she beams, proudly.

"Tris is a natural born Dauntless," Four says and I pull away from my mother to smile up at him. His mother is standing close to his side and though he is standing stiffly he is not shunning her. I know his mother's betrayal was hard for him but he seems to need her and I hope that she appreciates the chance he is giving her. I hope she doesn't destroy that single thread of trust that he is extending to her.

"Dauntless," my father murmurs and I turn to see him looking at me with tears in his eyes. He wouldn't visit me on Visiting Day and he has a strange look in his eyes but he is trying to smile as he takes in the changes in me. I do not look like the plain girl that left their side eight weeks ago and I am surprised by the tears that spring to his eyes as he hugs me to him. "I—we—I am proud of you." These words are so like my father, almost as if he is afraid to admit his feelings even to those closest to him. I feel my own eyes well up with tears but they don't fall as I hug him just as fiercely as my mother.

"Tris," Four says and I feel his hand on my shoulder, "We need to get back the trains have stopped and we'll need to walk." I pull away from my father and nod.

"The train will be running until I return home," Evelyn says and she shrugs, "The factionless are in charge of the tracks."

"Thank you," Four says and I know he is unsure what to say to her other than that courtesy.

"Should we all ride down together," I suggest and my parent's agree and head out into the hall. I turn to Evelyn and I see that she still does not like me but she doesn't voice her feelings so I will ignore it. After all, I am the only person in the room her only son trusts and that has to have been a heavy blow to her, but to me it is like zip lining, scary, and exhilarating and giddy. I follow her out of the building and we jump the train and ride. I can't help but think that if the worst does come to pass I am glad we have found each other. If that does come to pass I know that when it is time to jump we jump together.


	19. Lost

Deviation: Lost

Chapter Nineteen- FOUR

I hate this and if Tris were not standing beside me in this box as we ascend to the one hundredth floor for another meeting with the other faction leaders I would...Well, I would probably be walking up twelve-hundred stairs because only Tris can induce me to ignore my fears. What male, no, what Dauntless male could chicken out after the girl that has his heart wrapped around her little finger says she, 'didn't think he was afraid of anything?' It is pretty much a given that said boy would rather swallow his own tongue than disappoint that girl. So, here I am enjoying myself in a little box that isn't shrinking exactly, but feels too tight for comfort.

She holds my hand and breathes with me and on her face is a smile rich with love and pride for me and me alone. I am exaggerating her sway over me because I feel compelled to give her power over me; I know that I am strong enough to face my fears on my own. I do it daily, but now that I have Tris I have a reason to face them. We are close to stopping Jeanine and Max and Eric in their bid to overthrow the government. It seemed, at first, that simply replacing Marcus might have stalled their plans. But news from our Erudite spies was mixed this afternoon which is why we're here in this box, moving too slowly for my tastes, toward another meeting with Andrew, the new head of Abnegation and city leader, Kang, Johanna and my mother.

It has been two weeks since we last met and set in motion this alliance and I feel edgy and warn. Tris says that is because I have not been sleeping but it is more than that; I feel as if there is an axe over our heads and if we don't act quickly they entire city will be lost. Finally, the elevator slows and then comes to a stop. It takes a moment for the doors to open a moment that might cause panic to rise in me if she didn't turn to me and lift herself on her toes to press her lips to mine.

"See," she murmurs against my mouth, "That wasn't so bad."

When the doors finally open she pulls away from me with a smug grin and backs into the hallway. I am smiling, too, as I step toward her ready to catch her up in my arms again. It happens then as I am about to pull her toward me. A gunshot like an explosion in the confines of the hallway and then the grin on Tris' face turns to confusion as her body jerks with the impact of the bullet. I am momentarily stunned, watching as she collapses with a boneless grace only the dead and dying can achieve.

I pull the gun from the holster at my side and peek out of the elevator to try and assess the situation. I am stunned to see Johanna standing in the center of the hallway with a gun held out between us. I can tell she is not herself, her scarred face is slack and there is no smile on her lips or glint of recognition in her dark eyes. She is in a sim. She fires at my head but I duck back into the elevator keeping my foot in front of the door so that it will not close.

My mind is a haze of grief as I look to Tris and see her pain filled eyes trained on me. I slip to one knee and try to reach Tris' arm to pull her back to me inside the safety of the elevator but she is just out of reach. She is gasping and I can't, I won't let her die alone. Without her I see nothing but a bleak future of grief and monotony. She is dying and Johanna, innocent Johanna, stands between me and the woman I love. It is an easy choice. I stand to my feet and leap from the elevator aiming and shooting without really looking. The wet thunk of the bullet sounds like a melon hitting the floor; Johanna is dead with a bullet hole marring her unscarred cheek.

I drop my gun and fall to my knees at Tris' side. She is pale and I know that is because the blood pooling around her is no longer there to flush her cheeks. Her eyes are glassy but they still have a spark of life, of pain in them. I pull her into my arms and try to ignore the way her blood has soaked her clothes. "Tobias," she mumbles so quietly I almost could not here her so I lean in and press my forehead to hers, "I didn't want to leave you."

"You won't," I say, "You won't...You won't." It is a lie and we both know that but she nods a little and a smile creeps onto her lips as what makes her Tris leaves her body and her eyes are dull and lifeless reflecting nothing.

"The Legendary Four," Eric's mocking voice floats from the darkness somewhere down the hall where Johanna's body lies. "You were first in your class. Now, you're nothing!"

I hear him getting closer but I don't care. I don't wonder how he is here. I don't question what will become of the factions or this city or Tris' family. It doesn't matter. I might be crying I don't know. Curiously, I feel...Nothing. I don't turn as I hear the distinctive sound of a weapon charging to fire. I don't know fear except her gone where I cannot follow. The explosion of the bullet is load as it leaves the chamber but I want to laugh because Eric, sadistic Eric, is doing me a favor killing me. If he had really wanted to punish me he would have left me to live without her by my side. This...this is a kindness, a mercy.


	20. Found

Deviation: Found

Chapter Twenty- FOUR

I come awake with an animal cry and I scramble out of the chair onto my hands and knees. Bile is rising in my throat and I am gulping great breathes through my mouth because my nose is clogged with tear induced mucus. I fight my stomach's bid to empty its self onto the Fear Landscape Room floor and to control the keening that has been tearing from my vocal cords. In a dim corner of my mind that is able to process that this was just my fear landscape and not reality I wonder if I was crying while in the sim.

It takes a while before I am able to stand to my feet and I fumble as I set the room to rights. My fear landscape induced grief has sapped what was left of my strength. I should have been in bed by now, but I had been intrigued by the notion that I might have only three fears now that my father has become small in my eyes. I almost wish to have that fear back. That fear I could live with, but this one, this one would be too much to face and I would never overcome it.

I feel as if I am in a fugue state as I leave the room and walk back to my apartment. I want to go to the Transfer dormitory and find Tris. I want to wrap my arms around her and beg her to never leave me. I want to bind her to me for all time and if there is an eternity I want to claim that as well. It is irrational though and so instead I follow the hall to my apartment. I turn the corner and am shocked into stillness. Tris is slumped against my apartment door with her eyes closed and all I can see is that dirty hallway in the Hancock building and the crimson pool that covered the floor beneath her.

"Tris," I call and my voice is still ragged from my earlier crying jag. I am afraid to move. Too afraid that she is not sleeping but my worst fear realized again. She startles awake and she starts to smile but I must be a mess because she is on her feet with a worried, "Four," and as she nears me I lurch forward and drag her against me. I am holding her too tight. I know I should let her go, but visions of her dying in my arms make me squeeze her tighter.

"Tobias," she groans and I hear the pain I am causing her in my name. My arms release her immediately and I press my spine against the wall. I didn't mean to hurt her and I think I might have told her as much but I am so tired and my head is pounding and the acid in my stomach makes my mouth sour with dread. I am shaking and that small part of me that knows where I have been is cataloguing them for me. I know what this is; I have seen this reaction from nearly every initiate that has ever gone through the fear simulation. I have experienced this before, only not, this is more intense than when I was leaping at shadow Marcus' as an initiate.

"Tobias," she murmurs again and her arms are around my waist as she helps me to my apartment door. I feel her hand in my pocket and then I hear the scrape of my key in the lock.

I break away from her as soon as we are inside and I close myself into the bathroom. The man in the mirror looks like he has been destroyed and I don't recognize him. I splash water on my face and then realize that isn't going to cut it. I reek with the acrid stench of fear. I jerk the shower curtain back and turn on the water on as I peel my t-shirt over my head. I focus my mind on the reality that Tris is fine, she is in the other room probably trying to figure out what happened to me between jumping off the train and getting to my apartment. I am ashamed of the state she has seen me in and it makes me feel weak. The water is hot and the spray is like needles against my chest and face, but I grit my teeth and take it for a moment before I adjust the tab and begin to lather my hands with the bar of Dauntless soap. As I soap my body I take my memory of the fear landscape out and study it from every angle. I poke it like a sore muscle and dissect it in detail.

It only has power to tear me apart if I let it; I learned that in regard to my father. Tris is the only person I have felt compelled to get close to it really was confounding when I realized that I might not have to live this life alone. I understand that I fear losing her because I have never loved anyone the way I love her. No one has ever loved me the way she does, either. We are insane to have embarked on this journey when at any moment it could come to a crashing halt.

I rinse the soap from my body and crank the handles turning the water off. I step out onto the cracked tiles and sigh when I realize that yet again I have forgotten my clothes in the other room. I jerk the towel off the rack and wrap it about my hips without bothering to dry the rest of my body. The creaking of the door is loud when I open it and I find a wide-eyed and frightened Tris sitting on the uncomfortable gray couch staring at me like a rabbit caught in a trap.

The moment she registers my presence she is across the floor and her arms are wrapped around me almost as tightly as I was holding her earlier. Her face is pressed to the center of my chest and I am really not prepared for the feel of her pressed to my towel clad body. I grip the towel with one hand and bury my hand in her hair as I tilt her face up to mine. I kiss her. I have never needed to so badly.

Tris gasps as her back hits the wall and I break the kiss wondering how we came to be across the room. Her eyes are wide and her chest is heaving but she is still clutching me to her and my hand is still buried in her hair. Bending I press my forehead to hers and we breathe each other in for a moment before I dip my head and press my lips to her throat just above the tattoo on her collarbone. She inhales sharply and her blunt nails dig into my lower back making me hiss as I pull my mouth from her pale skin. I want her, badly, and that small pain clears my head.

I know I am not dressed to be pressed so intimately against her. I should move away from her instead of trapping her between me and the wall. I should apologize and step away and I should not be picturing her hair spread over my pillow as I kiss my way down her throat and passed her tattoo. I need to stop before I make her fear landscape a reality after all she has already seen me at my absolute worst tonight.

Closing my eyes I shift my lips to her forehead and step away from her but her arms tighten and I groan as she presses close once again and presses her face to my chest. She is trembling. Or I am because we are both shaking.

"Are you okay," she asks me her voice low and raspy as it usually is when she is under stress.

"Yeah," I nod and press my lips to the top of her head as I speak.

"What happened," she asks and the fear in her voice causes me to release my hold on her hair and wrap my arm around her shoulders. I just shake my head. This is not a burden for her to bear but she will not take that answer, "Tell me!"

"I went into my fear landscape," I tell her after a few minutes debating my options which are limited because she is not going to allow me to avoid the question.

"And," she prompts when I am silent for too long.

"I'm not afraid of my father anymore," I tell her with a derisive laugh that makes me close my eyes and pressing my nose into her hair and breathing deeply lest I deconstruct…Again.

"I don't understand," she murmurs and I can hear the frown in her voice as she pulls away to look at me and I find that I can't meet her eyes after my shamefully weak display and subsequent needy behavior. I step away and she lets me this time but her hands slide along my sides to rest on my chest making my muscle jump at the intimate contact.

"Tris," I say more stridently than I mean to, but she is touching me like this while I am barely keeping my towel on. "I need to get dressed." Her eyes widen and then she jumps away from me. I almost laugh as her eyes skim down my body taking in my towel clad hips. We are both blushing when I step around her and head to the lockers for my night clothes. I step into the bathroom and dress quickly.

When I come back out Tris is straightening the bed. Earlier we left it unmade as we headed out to meet the other Faction Leaders. Her feet are bare and her jacket is missing and I can see the Abnegation and Dauntless tattoos on her shoulders. She smiles up at me when I toss my clothes into the basket and then she looks back toward the blanket she is fiddling with.

"I tried to sleep in the dorm," she murmurs with a shrug, "But it felt…Wrong."

"Yeah," I say with a nod even though I am not sure I understand what she is trying to say. I am exhausted and I feel as if my insides have been rung out. I do understand when she folds down the blanket and then slips into my bed. She wants to sleep here.

"I'll take the floor," I say my weary body not looking forward to the cold cement floor. I frown because I am hanging on to consciousness by a slender thread as it is each day. The best sleep I have had was the one hour's worth earlier before the meeting. She stops me with a hand on mine when I try to pull the extra pillow off the bed. She applies a light pressure as she tries to draw me into bed beside her. "Tris," I warn but she just keeps pulling until I am forced to settle beside her.

Her eyes are wide but she doesn't look afraid like in her Fear Landscape so I settle on my side facing her. Tris still has my hand trapped in hers as she turns away from me and onto her side. The tug she gives my arm brings me closer to her until she is pressed her back to my front from shoulders to feet. This is everything I needed after the horror of my fear landscape.

"Tell me your fear," she murmured when I press my lips to her Dauntless tattoo and then let my forehead rest against it.

"Tris," I say feeling the gutting feeling start to twist my belly again.

"You need to tell me," she informs me as she twines her fingers with mine.

"You," I try to say it to give it voice, but I get choked up and I have to gasp for breath and try again, "You died," I gasp. The truth of her importance to me is so profound…to me…She is everything and without her nothing will make sense anymore, "I—I can't lose you, Tris."

"Tobias," she whispers, but I silence her with squeeze of her fingers. I am glad she used my real name while we discuss this but the tone of her voice tells me she doesn't understand.

"I-Can't-Lose-You," I enunciate each word and then explain. "You are the one true thing I have in this world to fight for, Tris, without you I would let the city self-destruct and hope it detonated in my vicinity."

"No," she shakes her head but I pull her onto her back and look deep into her eyes allowing my eyes confirm my words.

"I am not trying to scare you," I assure her but I need her to understand that she is my deepest fear. "If anything happens to you I will not survive it." She searches my face with conflicted eyes and then she grasps my head and brings my lips to hers. It isn't like one of the intense kisses we have shared it is profound like a promise…A pledge.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton." Her voice is low as she whispers the words against my lips. "I can't promise that nothing will happen to me," her hands frame my face as she angles my head down so she can press her lips to my forehead. "I will promise that I will do everything in my power to stay with you. Okay?"

"Okay," I nod and settle back on my side of the bed and pull her into my body so that her back is to my chest and whisper, "Okay." We are fixing to go to war so it will have to be enough. When I fall asleep I dream of a world where we are happy and safe and I think that when I awake I will remember it and think that world isn't made for people like us. This is the world we were given and I plan to make sure we both survive to appreciate the love we've found in it.


	21. Conspirators

Deviation: Conspirators

Chapter Twenty-One -TRIS

There is an odd sort of tension among the Dauntless gathered that makes the night sky feel heavy as it presses down upon us. The noise usually associated with a Dauntless horde is curiously somber and instead of boisterous laughter there are quiet murmurings and restrained chuckles that burst forth only to be quickly stifled. The reason for this meeting has even the most Dauntless among us subdued; this insurgence is serious business. I feel comforted by the number of Dauntless here; there are too many of us to meet in the little room down the hall so we have climbed onto the roof. Some are talking about zip-lining down after Four releases them and others will just jump a train. I would love to zip down myself, but that would leave Four to jump a train back alone and I have noticed he seems to worry about me more than he did.

It has been a little less than a week since we were last at the Hancock building and I could feel the tension in Tobias as we rode the elevator up to the ninety-fifth floor. I know it is a safety precaution we will be taking from here on, choosing a different floor each time we meet here and then walking up the last few flights. It is something I will have to put up with since Four's visit to his fear landscape, like his insistence that he check the hall before letting me through the door. The first time he pulled me away from the door, tonight, so that he could take point I reacted like any Dauntless female would; I called him on it loudly and with flare. Four had shut me up with a hard kiss and a heart wrenching admission, whispered roughly into my hair, that he knew I could take care of myself, but that did not me that he didn't need to protect me.

Zeke and Will pull the ladder up onto the roof with us before gesturing to a brooding Four. He steps up on the ledge that we use to launch ourselves down the zip-line, it is only a little more than three feet wide and there is no safety railing, but Four ignores this fear as he faces the rooftop and the now eerily quiet Dauntless. He just stares stony faced for a few moments and then he speaks.

"First," he says looking to the more senior Dauntless in attendance, "I want to thank you all for coming here tonight. I know that some of you remember more than the rest what being Dauntless truly means." I see a few of the seasoned Dauntless standing near Tori nodding with serious expressions that show just how disturbed they are by the changes being made in the last few years. "Real Dauntless believe in ordinary acts of bravery, not because we gain anything from our actions, but because it is right. Dauntless stand between those that cannot defend themselves and every foe, whether they are within this city's walls or without. Dauntless respect the power they wield. We do not glory in defeating a weaker opponent or derive pleasure from cruelty. We should strive to embody honor, be fearless in the face of fear and pride ourselves on our willingness to act when no one else will."

The roof erupts with a mighty Dauntless yell and it makes my heart swell with pride in my faction for the first time since I dropped into the net and discovered that this faction was in flux and changing, not for the better. Four holds his hands up and the group quiets down as he begins to speak again, "I know that my age is a hindrance to some of you," he says, as he spreads his hands out at his sides, "I respect that you didn't chose me, but I will not step down from this position. I have set quite a few things in motion and to step down now would put lives in jeopardy. However, I would like us to appoint two other leaders, fairly chosen by you all, to help share the tremendous burden of leadership."

Again, the air was rent with the names of this Dauntless or that and it takes a few minutes to realize which names are being called most frequently. Tori's name is the most oft spoke; so, Four asks her to join him on the ledge. The last took longer; it was between Harris and a slightly balding Dauntless, Gus. In the end, Four, Tori and Harris assume leadership of those loyal to the Dauntless ideology.

"Now that, that has been settled," Four calls out getting control of the now boisterous crowd, "You may not know this but we have brave Erudite members who are helping filter information to us at great personal risk to themselves. One of our informants sent information that we should be able to use to gain control of the Dauntless Compound, but before I share this information I need two volunteers to embed themselves with the Dauntless Traitors so that we have eyes inside.

There is shuffling and looking around and then Zeke calls out, "Me." Four looks a little shocked but he studies his friend and then nods. "And me," Uriah is the next to volunteer and both his mother and brother start to deny his joining but I see Four look at Tori and whisper something to Tori and gesture to Uriah. Her eyes widen and then she is nodding. She turns to Harris and they confer for a moment before they look back at Four. He takes a deep breath and then speaks.

"We," he says, gesturing to the other two leaders, "Think Uriah is a good choice," Four looks directly at Uriah when he speaks this last bit, "He has special skills, that I have been helping him with, that will probably prove useful." I feel my jaw drop as I realize that Uriah is Divergent. I swallow because I know that Four is skating the edge of revealing our difference to the group but he doesn't. Instead of expounding on which skills he is helping Uriah with Four says, "Besides you are a well-respected family and Max and his conspirators will think you are loyal to him after so many years."

"I will stay with my boys," their mother, Hana, calls out crossing her arms. She is not tattooed or pierced at least not where it can be seen but she looks like any Dauntless as she makes her stand.

"Mom," Zeke says shaking his head, "No!"

"Yes," she affirms, "If we," she gestures to the elder Dauntless, "Were doing what we believed in then you boys would not be in this position. I will stand with my boys no matter what!" I study the older Dauntless and I can see some of them look ashamed. It must have been very difficult to come here tonight knowing that if the group fails every one of us would be branded traitors, but they are here. It gives me a sense of hopefulness that they have integrity enough to right the wrong committed on their watch.

"Thank you," Four says nodding to Zeke and Uriah's mother before moving on to the news that Will's sister Cara was able to get to us just this morning. "Max is sick," he tells the group boldly, "He is dying. I am sure you have noticed his greyish tinge to his dark skin and his age is showing more heavily on his face than it has been. My Erudite contact says that it is some form of blood cancer which has no cure at this time." There are sharp gasps of surprise and murmuring becomes loud whispers. Four calls out over the din, "Evidently, Erudite has promised him to find a cure in exchange for his cooperation when Erudite makes their move on Abnegation." The crowd starts calling out that Max is a coward and I see real anger in their faces where earlier there was only dissatisfaction with the way the Faction had been changed. "My source has set the story to run on the news feeds tomorrow morning."

"We should oust him tonight," a voice yells from the back of the group and others chime in with agreement.

"No," Four denies, "There will be others that join us once they know of Max's cowardice. We will wait to oust him until the loyalties of the others become apparent." I watch as Four looks at every face with his patent Dauntless trainer intensity. "Now," he says in a low voice that still resonates through the crowd. "Eric will take this as his chance to gain control. Max is just a stepping stone to Eric and I know for a fact that Jeanine placed him here two years ago for that very purpose, though I have no real proof. I would not be surprised to discover that Jeanine is hoping Max dies and leaves Dauntless to be run by her Erudite/Dauntless transfer."

"We won't let that happen," cries a woman that looks a lot like Lynn and then I see Lynn and Marlene standing just behind the woman. This must be Lynn's mother. "The things he has been doing to the initiates is despicable! We should have ended this as soon as our children began getting hurt, but we were too afraid to go against Max."

Four nodded, "This is not going to be bloodless," He says solemnly, "Lives may be lost but we have to stand and fight for the ideals that Dauntless is founded upon or we might as well walk away from the faction."

Cries of, "Never," fill the night air and I feel an odd sort of uneasiness settle in the pit of my stomach. Faction before blood is more than just three words it is a way of life. These people are all loyal to Dauntless it is what Four counted on, but they don't understand that the times are changing and when this war is over nothing will be the same again. Our society is morphing, expanding beyond this one dimensional faction system. If the factions are going to survive they will have to adapt and allow for integration of other values. In that society the faction permutations would be far greater than just five they would be infinite.

I see the worry in Four's furrowed brow and I know he is thinking about what we learned at the Factionless gathering with his mother yesterday. Most, not all but a fair few, Factionless are Divergent. Even if we are able to stave off all-out war the factions are all going to be gutted by the harsh realities that are coming to light here and there will be no ignoring the existence of Divergent's when everything is said and done. Especially, after the others discover the vast numbers the Factionless have amassed.

The city can no longer afford to disenfranchise those that do not, or cannot, conform. Four has decided we should fight one battle at a time and I agree with him. We must pick and choose our course so that we can try and bring the city through this war and find, not only peace, but freedom on the other side. My eyes are drawn to the gaping hole in the center of the roof and I wonder if it was something like our reality that preceded that war. We have differing ideologies and we have weapons but nothing on the scale of what could have put that size hole in a building.

I listen half-heartedly; I already know what Four plans to say. Instead, I ask myself whether our little rebellion, with our small weapons, will be less destructive than the one that destroyed our foundational city. I think the answer has to be, No! We are no more or less special than those who lived here last. I look up as I hear the solid impact of feet hitting the roof and I catch my breath at the sight of him, tall and proud, a leader. My heart rate speeds up when I realize he is looking at me and I nervously lick my lips. His intense eyes immediately follow the action and then his gaze meets mine again before his attention is pulled away by Uriah, Zeke and their mother. Behind him Tori and Harris are setting up the harnesses for the zip-line and the line is already forming. I want to go to Four but it is important that he be seen as a leader.

Instead, I go stand near the ledge where I can hear his deep velvety voice and watch the zip-liners descend. He is telling the Pedrad family about the serum and explaining that they will most likely not be able to avoid having it used on them. This is Four's biggest worry because that means that only Uriah will be cognizant after the sim starts if we fail to prevent the serum's use. I know he is hoping to gain control of the compound and the supplies that have been larded in but that will not mean that Erudite doesn't have access to more serum. So, Four is explaining what they should do to prevent it from being administered to them without letting Max and Eric know they are not loyal to their cause.

My attention is drawn away from Four as a colossal man readies himself to be hurled down the line. I think his name is Dugger. He is taller than Four by more than a few inches and his frame is wrapped in thick muscle he must weigh close to three hundred pounds. I am amazed that the zip-line doesn't give under his weight but he disappears and the next rider is getting in the sling waiting for their chance to fly.

"Ah, man, don't be a pansy-cake," Uriah's voice rings loud over the crowd and I turn as he slaps Four on the back and adds, "You never join us up here."

My eyes widen as I see Four tense and straighten beside the loud mouthed initiate before slowly turning and eyeing him. Zeke reaches out and smacks his brother on the back of his head and Four doesn't have a chance to verbally eviscerate Uriah before Zeke is doing it for him. I think by the suddenly embarrassed look on Uriah's face he forgot whom it was he was addressing.

"Initiate," Zeke snaps moving into his brother's personal space, "is that how you address a Dauntless leader?"

"Zeke, I-," Uriah tries to step away from his brother but Zeke follows after him.

"There is a certain amount of respect that comes with a position of leadership," he informs his brother sternly, "You," Zeke pokes Uriah in the chest, "Don't get to call a Dauntless Leader a pansy-cake until you can go down the line without caterwauling like a dying cat!"

"Maybe not even then," Four says in his deep, serious voice but I can see the slight smile in his dark eyes. Zeke looks up at Four and I see the way his eyes light up with amusement when he sees Four crack a small smile.

"I don't sound like a dying cat," Uriah defends.

"Actually, I rode the line down in front of you last time," I say as I move to stand next to Four until our fingers brush, but neither of us are really into public displays so we don't twine our fingers. I am just offering him a little comfort. "You kinda sounded like a strangling cat."

"Very funny," Uriah muttered turning toward me, "You were probably too scared to scream," he accuses and this time it is his mother that reaches up and smacks him on the back of the head. Four laughs quietly, but aloud for the first time, and I find that the sound makes my heart flutter.

"You ready," he asks as he motions toward the hole. I find my eyes slipping over to the zip-line for a moment and then I smile and nod stepping toward the ladder. I take three steps before I realize that Four is not beside me and I turn back to see him eyeing a Dauntless man as he climbs into the harness.

"Four," I call quietly and reach my hand toward him. He sighs and then shakes his head before looking at me. I move to his side and he uncharacteristically pulls me to him in full view of the crowd.

"You want to ride," he says, pressing his forehead to mine as he studies my face, "I can see it in your eyes."

"It isn't important," I tell him with a smile, because it really isn't. Four has faced so much for me and my Divergence this can be one thing he doesn't have to give me. He runs a hand over my hair and closes his eyes. Nodding, Four takes my hand and leads me to the ladder and I feel sad when I see the self-deprecating look on his face. He is too quiet as we step into the elevator and I hate that I cause him to criticize himself, even silently. We have only descended three floors when Four slams his fist against the button to stop us on the next floor making me jump, "Four," I exclaim pressing a hand to my pounding heart. He doesn't respond. His face is fierce when the doors open and he stalks out with a stiff spine and fists clenched. He is moving fast toward the stairwell.

"Four," I call a second time as I hurry after him and slip between him and the heavy metal door, "Please stop."

"Move," he demands without looking at me.

"No," I refuse, "Please look at me." His dark blue eyes are colder than I have ever seen them but they thaw as he finally lets them rest on me. "Why are you acting like this? Why are you angry with me?"

"I'm not," Four tells me confused, then shocked and finally ashamed; I hate that look as much as the emotion behind it. He moves away from me very quickly turning to face the far wall. "I didn't mean to upset you."

His head is down cast and there is a defeated slump in his shoulders as he lifts one fist and presses it into the rough cinder block wall. He does it several times and I think if I were not there that he might have put force behind the movement, punching the wall until his fist bled but I am here and he is restraining the anger. I have seen this side to him more often since he showed me his fears. It is something that he seems ashamed of like it is a weakness. I am not sure what I think about this other than to know deep in my heart he would never hurt me when he is like this; no, I fear for him more than myself right now. Tobias Eaton is not his father.

I wrap my arms around his waist and press my forehead into his back between his shoulder blades. He smells like Dauntless soap and spice so I breath him in while stroking my hand in small circles over his taut belly muscles. After a few minutes he laces the fingers of his left hand with my right and drops his fist to his side before clasping his fingers on my hip and pulling me in tight behind him.

"Tobias," I whisper because this is too personal a conversation for his nickname. "Tell me what is wrong."

"I—," he starts but he stops and drops his head back so his eyes can study the ceiling for a long moment before he can continue. "I—feel like an imposter," he finally admits and I frown, "I just rallied those people up there to fight in a war that is bound to get some, if not all, of them killed and I can't even ride a zip-line." He laughs aloud for the second time tonight but this one does not make my heart flutter giddily it makes it squeeze painfully. He drops his head to the cold concrete wall and his body shifts beneath mine the tension slowly draining from his limbs.

This is not what I expected to hear but the words ring true; he actually believes that he is not Dauntless enough. I want to laugh because to me he is everything Dauntless, but I know if I laugh now he will not open up like this again. I, also, know that if I make an off-hand comment like I did in his fear landscape about my mother keeping coats in our closet he will shut down like he did then. I want every part of Four even these insecure and frightened parts.

It takes a moment but I finally figure out which tactic to use, "How many fears does Uriah have," I ask quietly. My question surprises him because I feel his body jerk beneath mine.

"What," he asks, confused.

"You heard me," I say as I start to stroke his left side rhythmically, "I know you are still doing the fear simulation training instead of Zeke; so, how many fears?"

"I shouldn't—," he starts to deny me but I pinch his side lightly and he jumps trying to evade my fingers. I file away the instant knowledge that Four is ticklish until a later more playful time because right now I am trying to point out my boyfriend's faulty logic.

"Just tell me," I persist.

"Eleven," he huffs out.

"Is he afraid of heights," I ask and Four nods his reply. I understand now why Four feels like this is such a big deal. Uriah is facing his fear every time he flies down the wire, but Four is forgetting the fact that he has faced his fears multiple times when it was needed. Zip-lining is recreation and not really a lifesaving event.

I shift tracts and ask, "Do you think I am less Dauntless because I am afraid of us being together?" I feel Four stiffening beneath my hands but he shakes his head and he murmurs a rough, "No, you're tough as nails Tris." His response makes tears come to my eyes. He loves me and he is proud of me it makes my soul sing I am so happy.

"One day I will face that fear," I say quietly as I hug him tighter and a tear slips down my cheek, "We will be together and nothing will separate us except our skin." He inhales deeply and I know my words have affected him viscerally. "I will tremble and my heart will race and I will face my fear with you by my side because I trust you." I let that sink in before I add, "One day, after the city is secure and we are living mundane lives where jumping the train is the only excitement we have to look forward to we can ride the zip-line together. If you want, but right now you face down one of your fears every time we attend these meetings. You defeated another, your worst fear, just a few floors away from here. Tobias, you are so brave!"

He lifts my hand to his lips and he presses a kiss to my palm before pressing it to his rough cheek. I sigh and settle more comfortably against his back and pressing my ear over his heartbeat as he whispers, "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too." I whisper just as reverently as he.

We stand like this for a while and I try to imagine the life I described. I can picture Four leading our city, but he takes time out of a busy, boring schedule to take me down the zip-line. It will be just he and I flying through the city and I will whisper in his ear as he clutches at the harness that he is so brave and I love him so much. Closing my eyes I try and drown out the fear that we might never have that life. As I open them I silently promise myself and Tobias that we will have that moment, no matter what!


End file.
